Should DC go on the school residential when he can't swim?

[Thoughtfulgolondrina]

The Year 8 Residential is coming soon and most days water sports/swimming is the activity of the day. Due to COVID shutting pools and stopping swimming lessons for a couple years of primary and then living abroad for a couple more years of primary, my son can't swim. We have tried to get him into swimming lessons now but all in the area have unending waiting lists or won't teach older children because he is outside the age range for the national swimming programme implemented in England. The end result is my DC doesn't want to go on the residential but will miss the fun with his friends on the other parts of the trip. For my part, l am worried about his safety. While abroad, he almost drowned at a beach. I don't feel his teachers really understand 'he can't swim'. Therefore, l worry about whether the vigilance will be there. Also, my DC, rightly so, wonders what he will do instead. There are whole days of water sport (boogie-boarding, surfing) and other days of hiking to a pool to spend the afternoon swimming. What should l do?

Advertise locally for a swim teacher or try private gyms with pools. Or try teaching him yourself. In any event if you can't do it he really can't go.

Well, my concerns have been realised. I am genuinely worried about this because l am a conscientious parent. Mumsnet is certainly a place for judgement without understanding. I have been actively looking for swimming lessons for him for 2.5 years, as soon as we returned to England. I have asked swimming schools if l could book and pay for double lessons so he would have longer sessions. All have such a long waiting lists, they would not allow me to pay for double lessons. Crash courses for adults are booked up no matter if l say that l will wait for as long as it takes on the waiting list. I will drive him any distance that l can get there and back in a day. I have still been unsuccessful. Also, that doesn't solve the problem for now. I am not asking for permission to let my son go on a water-based activity when he can't swim. I am asking for thoughtful advice on handling the emotional aspect.

Have you signed him up for the trip? It would have been better to raise this with the school before doing so/paying. Would do so now. The activity centre might well not allow DC to do some or all of the water activities without being able to swim a certain distance.

Have you contacted all of the pools directly and asked about private lessons? All of the pools near me offer this.

Or are you saying that you’ve raised it with the school and they say DS can go but miss the water activities, and he’d rather not go in that case?

If so, I’d speak to DS and help him think through his options and pros/cons. With the option of going but not doing the water bits you/he could think of things he could say when asked about it - the truth isn’t that bad!

Unless an intensive course becomes available it’s now too late for him to swim well enough in time for a June/July trip.

But you could take him to a pool yourself? You don't need lessons to learn to swim. I didn't learn through lessons, my dad taught me. Covid has been over for a long time now!

You literally said "what should I do?". That's why you're getting answers telling you what you should do

I haven't signed up yet. I have talked to the teacher in charge and they just assumed everyone could swim. They have no alternative activities planned. He would just have to sit out while the others carried on. I can't decide what is worse for him socially - going and being miserable sitting out or being the only one not going. I have checked and he likely the only one in his form not going.

At his age he should learn pretty quickly with some time in a pool. Can you take him yourself?

When is the trip? Has he got time to learn before he goes?

Have you not been taking him swimming yourself and teaching him, at least the basics? I'm sorry but I find it hard to believe that every swimming class has been fully booked for the past 5+ years. And even if that is genuinely the case, why haven't you been taking him weekly?
To your question, no he shouldn't go on a trip that is water focused when he cannot swim

Have you tried private gyms with pools?

We had to sign a permission slip confirming that our then year 6 children could swim 100 metres before they could go on a residential with water based activities. If they couldn’t, they didn’t go.

Yes. I meant in a larger sense. The practical stuff is pretty obvious. Sorry l think l have posted about 4 times 13 years. However, l have read a lot of helpful posts alongside very unhelpful ones when following other people's threads. I thought l would give it a go.

Are you able to tell us roughly where you are? The mumsnet hive mind might be able to find you some 1-1 lessons. At his age it would only take a few to get him competent in the water - he doesn’t have to have beautiful stroke technique.

Alternatively, presumably you have a local (ish) pool - can you take him evenings and weekends and teach him the basics yourself? There are lots of videos online of the basic strokes that he could watch and then practise. As he’s older (taller!) he could go in by himself if he’s self conscious about having mummy in with him.

I’d go back to the teacher/trip organiser and ask what the swimming ability requirement for the activities is - this will have been set by the organisation(s) they are visiting and should be in the school’s plan for the trip.

There could be other DC who are weak/non swimmers.

He’ll never be more motivated than now. Just take him to the pool ffs. Every effing day of needs be, before or after school. Ring your local posh gyms with pools and then it’ll be private.
I can’t see anywhere that you’ve replied to why you don’t teach him yourself.

Do you know how many of his year group are going and what those left behind will be doing? Are they going in term time or in the holiday? I think these are important factors.

Could you find a local older teen who’d be willing to help him learn (19 plus) who has experience with swimming lessons? I don’t know how that would work in all honesty but trying to think of options as it sounds like you’ve had a frustrating time!

If the school hasn't been directly responsible for ensuring their pupils CAN swim, they can't possibly assume all can. Children in state schools have to have swimming lessons in KS2 in England but that doesn't mean they all become strong swimmers. You need clarity over the expectations before making any decision.

Hmm it does sound like it might not be a great idea for him to go on the trip, mainly based on the fact that swimming seems like a huge part of it so he would be missing out on a lot.

There is no way he should be going in the sea if he can’t swim, with regards to the pool I guess it depends on what the teachers say? I expect they need to have a plan with regards to any non swimmers, how are they going to keep them safe etc. I would speak to them and go from there.

When I was 10 I went on a school residential and mine and my friends mums told the school that we weren’t able swimmers. The teachers kind of said to us privately to stay in the shallow end and we had a couple of the teachers lurking around us, it wasn’t obvious to the other children at all and they dealt with it really well. Annoyingly we were both actually very competent swimmers but our mums were worriers and obviously felt concerned about the level of supervision, I’m still salty about it now

Speak to the teachers and get the full information before making a decision, it might be that your son is the only non swimmer so he might decide he doesn’t want to go.

So the waiting lists are in excess of two years if he's still not got a place? Why haven't you taught him yourself? Even if you thought it was fine to wait for a place, surely after the beach incident you'd take him to a pool and get some basic water safety into him. And then when the school trip was announced X months in advance you'd again take him to a pool and make sure he can swim.

Please note "you" refers to you OR his Dad.

I wouldn’t be able to teach someone to swim. And in a standard pool, depending on his height, it’s would be difficult to keep him in his depth and impossible with all the other kids messing around (our pools are all either general swim or lane swim, so not suitable for a lesson).

What’s done is done and you can’t go back and find pools that were open during covid or whatever options there might have been whilst you were abroad but he’s had a near drowning incident and now may have to miss out on his school residential. Now is the time to stop making excuses and get him swimming. Have you thought about joining a gym- all the big chains with pools will do 1:1 lessons? Increase the search area into the nearest city? If the private swim schools are all completely full then are you on the waiting lists because people do tend to stop at the end of the academic year so spots should open up come September. Failing all else then take him 1-2 times a week and teach him yourself. It should be perfectly possible to teach him the basics and then once he’s ready for stroke progression revisit lessons and there might be more options at that level. And if still you are genuinely struggling to find somewhere then would you consider posting your rough area? I bet someone here could find you something!

My family left England right when COVID pool restrictions were lifted. In the 2 years prior to leaving, this was Year 3 and 4 there were no swimming lessons in England. He had swimming lessons in school in Year 2 before COVID hit. We moved abroad to a developing country due to my husband's work. In this country, there are no public pools and no swimming lessons in school. The very, very wealthy have pools and a few country clubs where the fees are well above a aid worker would have the means. We were abroad 2 years which woul have been Year 5 and 6 here. Since returning l have very actively looked for swimming lessons of any type, of any cost that do not conflict with going to school.

Well l do give up. Thanks for taking the time to comment. Good day

Also to add OP would it be possible for you to take him to your local pool a few times per week to teach him the basics? Just while you’re waiting for a space to come up. My mum taught me when I was very young, I did all the swimming lessons etc as well but I could already swim beforehand so it is possible.