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Original poster

Should DC go on the school residential when he can't swim?

205 replies

Thoughtfulgolondrina · 01/06/2025 07:38

The Year 8 Residential is coming soon and most days water sports/swimming is the activity of the day. Due to COVID shutting pools and stopping swimming lessons for a couple years of primary and then living abroad for a couple more years of primary, my son can't swim. We have tried to get him into swimming lessons now but all in the area have unending waiting lists or won't teach older children because he is outside the age range for the national swimming programme implemented in England. The end result is my DC doesn't want to go on the residential but will miss the fun with his friends on the other parts of the trip. For my part, l am worried about his safety. While abroad, he almost drowned at a beach. I don't feel his teachers really understand 'he can't swim'. Therefore, l worry about whether the vigilance will be there. Also, my DC, rightly so, wonders what he will do instead. There are whole days of water sport (boogie-boarding, surfing) and other days of hiking to a pool to spend the afternoon swimming. What should l do?

OP posts:
Figgygal · 01/06/2025 08:30

You've sat on this for 2 years you could have taken him yourself I know you couldn't have expected this scenario but its now very sad hes missing out.

I never had lessons just parents who took me swimming regularly like millions of other people. You've already said hes aged out of beginner lessons so why not just start in the obvious way?

twigsand · 01/06/2025 08:31

how long until the trip? Is anything stopping you taking him swimming today and 3/4 times over the coming weeks to teach him to swim? Lack of lessons is one thing but if you’d been taking him swimming regularly then he would have picked up the basic strokes at the least.

BananaSpanner · 01/06/2025 08:32

But surely all these courses haven’t been booked indefinitely. Is his name actually on a waiting list anywhere?

Sounds like it’s too late for this trip but it still needs addressing.

Sandysandyfeet · 01/06/2025 08:32

Don’t most people teach their kids to an extent? Mine had lessons but we also spent a lot of time in pools / the sea walking backwards just in front of them. OP has your son actually been in a pool and tried to swim? Watch some YouTube videos with him, go to a pool, stand about chest height for him, facing each other and have a go! Get him to practise dipping his face in the water first. You can stand next time with one or both hands under his tummy to start with to help him feel the position in the water.

Spies · 01/06/2025 08:32

Thoughtfulgolondrina · 01/06/2025 08:30

Well l do give up. Thanks for taking the time to comment. Good day

Why do you give up. That's a bit dramatic and doesn't actually help resolve your son's inability to swim? It's also pretty defeatist given more than one person has kindly offered to help you look for lessons.

Hercisback1 · 01/06/2025 08:32

I'm getting the impression your version of "active looking" isn't as thorough as other peoples.

What area are you? People on here might have ideas.

Chewbecca · 01/06/2025 08:34

You can start today - take him to the pool yourself today and book another session midweek after school! Forget repeating the past reasons why you didn't do it before, it doesn't matter now, just start right away, the 2 of you and schedule it in several times a week between now and the trip and you will achieve it.

It would be a real shame for him to miss the trip.

ThesebeautifulthingsthatIvegot · 01/06/2025 08:34

You should ask the school for the activity provider's name. It will be a company that is managing the activities, so they will be the ones who decide on the safety aspects such as whether they will take non-swimmers. I suspect they won't, but it would be worth asking them directly.

Sandysandyfeet · 01/06/2025 08:35

Why are you giving up? You’ve been given lots of advice! Could his Dad not take him to the pool and teach him if you don’t want to - he might enjoy it with his dad!

Jijithecat · 01/06/2025 08:36

If swimming lessons in your area are as booked up as you say they are, your DC cannot be the only one in the year who can't swim.
You need to prioritise your child learning to swim.

Original poster
Thoughtfulgolondrina · 01/06/2025 08:36

Spies · 01/06/2025 08:32

Why do you give up. That's a bit dramatic and doesn't actually help resolve your son's inability to swim? It's also pretty defeatist given more than one person has kindly offered to help you look for lessons.

Show quote history

I can see the attraction of social media. You put yourself out there and then you get some thoughtful responses and hope for more. However, a lot of the rest of it is like having an argument with a stranger who doesn't know you and isn't really understanding. It is my own fault for posting. Basically, l find this first into social media unrewarding. Thanks again.

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 01/06/2025 08:37

How long has he been on all these waiting lists ?
he is actually on these waiting lists you go on about.

I cannot think where in the UK that you live that is so remote you haven't found somewhere by now that he could have lessons.

Clearly he can't go on this school trip. full stop.

ThesebeautifulthingsthatIvegot · 01/06/2025 08:38

Thoughtfulgolondrina · 01/06/2025 08:36

I can see the attraction of social media. You put yourself out there and then you get some thoughtful responses and hope for more. However, a lot of the rest of it is like having an argument with a stranger who doesn't know you and isn't really understanding. It is my own fault for posting. Basically, l find this first into social media unrewarding. Thanks again.

Show quote history

Ignore the people who are giving unhelpful advice.

Spies · 01/06/2025 08:39

Thoughtfulgolondrina · 01/06/2025 08:36

I can see the attraction of social media. You put yourself out there and then you get some thoughtful responses and hope for more. However, a lot of the rest of it is like having an argument with a stranger who doesn't know you and isn't really understanding. It is my own fault for posting. Basically, l find this first into social media unrewarding. Thanks again.

Show quote history

Your reply makes no sense and activity ignores my point that people want to help? Confused To be honest the more you post the more it sounds like you dont want any useful advice so I'm not sure what else there is anyone can do. I just feel for your son who is likely going to continue to miss out.

FloppySarnie · 01/06/2025 08:42

OP you mentioned earlier that when you were overseas, there were no facilities for you to teach him to swim. This implies that you can swim yourself so can’t you just take him to a public pool here and teach him? It’s a genuine question. I’m wonder if either you/he don’t want this (perhaps he’s embarrassed?) but it’s an obvious answer. At his age , he would pick swimming up quickly with a bit of Will, even if his technique might not be great to begin with.

Bumdrops · 01/06/2025 08:42

OldTiredMum1976 · 01/06/2025 08:13

I’m sorry but I find it very hard to believe that no lessons can be found. I could book in for 1-1 lessons from tomorrow at my local Nuffield Health - probably the same for most gyms.

Feel free to let me know the area you are in and I’ll happily find you some!

As for the excuses again…Covid was 2020. Your DS would have been 8ish. Why on earth didn’t he learn before then?

Edited
Show quote history

I agree -
i can’t believe there is NO swimming lessons of any kind in your area !
where on earth do you live ? Teletubby land ?

the Covid / moving stuff is not sufficient to justify this situation

Strawberriesforever · 01/06/2025 08:43

Why are all these posters assuming OP could teach her child to swim? Even if OP can swim herself, if she’s not a terribly confident swimmer she may not have any idea how to to teach a young child to swim, much less preteen/early teen who may well be as big as she is by now. She also didn’t have a crystal ball 8-10 years ago to warn her about Covid and her husband’s job assignments and so didn’t know her child would have been better off learning to swim at age 3-5 rather than waiting a bit.
Are there any summer camps with learn to swim programs OP? I’m sure mumsnet posters will help with the searching if you give them a geographical area/areas that could possibly work.

BeccaBean · 01/06/2025 08:44

For learning to swim, I'd get him a book like Learn to Swim by Benjamin Roberts and spend lots of time at the pool. That will get him finding his natural buoyancy and will get him at least 90% of the way to swimming. After this, at his age, he'll only need a very small number of lessons (so do the adult private ones if they're easier to find). Then it's a case of building up stamina by regular practice.

Isometimeswonder · 01/06/2025 08:45

Teach him yourself.

Sandysandyfeet · 01/06/2025 08:46

If OP doesn’t think she can teach him, his Dad could. They could start today!

FloppySarnie · 01/06/2025 08:47

OP can you tell us your country? Perhaps some of us can find some solutions for you. For example, I know that in my area there are waiting list for some classes, but I also know some places that have availability.

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 01/06/2025 08:48

Ok practical stuff. First of all when is the residential and what is the actual itinerary? How much would he have to miss out on a daily basis?

Talk to the school and explain his complete inability to swim. What do they suggest? How will they manage that? Ask how many children are actually going. If it’s the whole of y8, there will be A LOT of children now going, as it tends to be 30/40 out of hundreds.

All this information will give you a better idea of what is going on and whether it can be managed or not.

It will also help the emotional side (not the only kid not going) or at least rationalise it(safety reasons, having to miss out too much etc.) or it could be that he’d only have to miss an activity or two or a day or two which can happen anyway for various reasons. What you need is more information.

Then , take him swimming yourself or your husband (whichever of you can swim). Gain some water confidence, breathing under water etc. Teach him how to float and if you can, how to swim . Even if there’s not enough time for the residential, it’s good to get him being used to being in the water and have fun for the future.

saveforthat · 01/06/2025 08:48

I'm guessing op can't swim as she is ignoring any questions about teaching him herself. I don't think you need to be a swimming teacher, just take him along and point out some basics.

Strawberriesforever · 01/06/2025 08:48

Sandysandyfeet · 01/06/2025 08:46

If OP doesn’t think she can teach him, his Dad could. They could start today!

Possibly. But you actually have no idea whether or not his dad knows how to swim or feels confident teaching a kid to swim or is able to swim health wise at the moment.

HazelHedgehog · 01/06/2025 08:48

Just go to local pool, try to pick a time when not as busy. I used to teach swimming, it's really not hard, watch some you tube videos and just do it. Buy a woggle and float and crack on !!