Should DC go on the school residential when he can't swim?

[Thoughtfulgolondrina]

The Year 8 Residential is coming soon and most days water sports/swimming is the activity of the day. Due to COVID shutting pools and stopping swimming lessons for a couple years of primary and then living abroad for a couple more years of primary, my son can't swim. We have tried to get him into swimming lessons now but all in the area have unending waiting lists or won't teach older children because he is outside the age range for the national swimming programme implemented in England. The end result is my DC doesn't want to go on the residential but will miss the fun with his friends on the other parts of the trip. For my part, l am worried about his safety. While abroad, he almost drowned at a beach. I don't feel his teachers really understand 'he can't swim'. Therefore, l worry about whether the vigilance will be there. Also, my DC, rightly so, wonders what he will do instead. There are whole days of water sport (boogie-boarding, surfing) and other days of hiking to a pool to spend the afternoon swimming. What should l do?

Take him swimming every day and teach him yourself, I expect he will pick it up quickly. My son absolutely hated lessons and was very resistant to learning. He learnt in a few days in the pool on holiday.

I understand the guilt you will be feeling OP. I'll hold my hands up and say I'm guilty of not getting my children into swimming lessons when I should have. They were 4yo and 2yo when Covid hit and swimming isn't part of the school curriculum here. One DC is also disabled so finding someone to take her on was not easy. The local council lessons would never work for her. I eventually found a private swimming school on Facebook last September (I wish I'd found him earlier!) Disabled DC is almost 10 and still in the 'intro to swimming' stage so we're in this for the long haul, but I imagine your DS could pick it up very quickly.

I think if there was a reason that neither op or the dad could do it she’d have mentioned it by now.

Apologies if you’ve already done this, but could you ask for recommendations for tuition on Facebook or similar? Are there YouTube videos you could watch ?

No judgement from me, btw, I’m not a strong swimmer and I remember feeling very left out during school days bc I couldn’t join in

100% agree.

It might be worth reaching out to local groups such as triathlon clubs, they will know of coaches who don’t necessarily offer swimming lessons as a matter of course, but might be willing to help teach as one-off private student in a public pool session.

This is not judgmental at all, and you do definitely seem to have been trying but I am confused that you've been having so much trouble getting lessons sorted and for so long, there's got to be an option somewhere and lots of people will help you try to find it.

I say this as someone whose DC swim 6 times a week, across 2 different lessons and 2 clubs, 4 different pools. As part of that we see all the different offerings that come up at the different pools and lots would be suitable for him, but I can see that not everyone would know some of it is there.

It's also possible to hire pools, so if needs be (and I would think there are other options before having to do this) but you could hire a pool/lane and hire a teacher.

Where are you based?

I think all children should start swimming lessons at 5, so your son should have had a good 2 or 3 years before covid to learn to swim, and with you taking him to the pool to get used to it before that. I really don't think you can blame covid and schools!

Why was your son in the sea abroad when he can't swim, in a country that isn't going to have life guards? That is all very strange and negligent,

I think he will be much more carefully looked after and safer on the residential and if he wants to go you should let him. He can go in the pool after the hike but just stay in the shallow end surely? If most of the activities are water based though then he's not going to have much fun so if he doesn't want to go then there's no point forcing him.

You need to prioritise your child learning to swim - stop making excuses and sort it out.

I don’t think most parents feel particularly ‘confident’ in teaching kids to swim. It’s just a normal thing to do - mainly just playing at first, with arm bands etc and then just gradually building up to it. I imagine op feels awful that it’s got this far - her anger at people trying to help is misplaced though. At my dcs school a child had sadly drowned on holiday a year before my dcs joined. The parents had chosen to carry on with dance lessons and given up swimming instead. Everyone took learning to swim very seriously, it’s a tedious process but so important.

Is it a whole year group residential? Schools (and provider) will have to do risk assessments to identify non swimmers.

The forms where parents state children can swim a certain length, can’t always be relied on.

Remember a cub swimming activity where I was helping as a parent. Any non swimmers had to have parent attend. A couple of kids where parents had dropped and run jumped into the pool and it was then very obvious they weren’t competent swimmers!

We taught my son to swim (he hated lessons and they were putting him off swimming). We didn’t do anything special, just took him swimming every week and he slowly got it. He’s not the best swimmer but is improving.

if the OP’s son really wants to go on the trip then I think they should take him swimming loads before and see if he can pick it up. I imagine he is motivated.

It also doesn’t make sense that they’ve been back from abroad 3-4 years and they haven’t got to the top of the 2 year waiting list.

The person offering didn't seem very kind about it imo.

If the trip is this summer I don't think DS will have time to learn to swim. Would it be possible to use the week to book an intensive course for him and then back it up with more swimming over the summer?

It is unfortunate that he will miss the year 8 trip but in my experience, their are always last minute drop outs due to illness etc so he's unlikely to be the only one missing it.

They haven't been back 3-4 years. They were away in years 5-6. DS is now year 8.

I learned to swim IN the sea.
Mostly self taught. I have awful technique and form , but can manage sea, lakes, rivers and pools.Where I’m from, where I grew up, there were no swimming pools or swimming lessons. In fact, before I moved to England I’d only been in a pool 3 times. We have a coast though(and great summer weather) and people holidayed at the seaside.

I would agree with giving it a go by taking DS as family. He may be able to pick it up quickly enough to be safe with a buoyancy aid. As PP notes this is not the same as a life jacket. A life jacket would not be appropriate for water sports.

I remember panicking that my children were going to miss out on learning to swim due to lockdown - they were 4 and 2. I Put them on waiting lists in summer 2020 and they started when pools opened in January 2021. Your child is much older than mine so why didn’t he start lessons when you first lived in England at the age of 4/5/6? Before lockdown and before you moved away.

He’s going to have this issue when his mates go on holiday when they turn 18 or if he’s asked to go on holiday with a friend and their parents.

The fact he’s nearly drowned means he either needs to start lessons like yesterday or never go in water.

My local pool offers adult swimming lessons, so does David Lloyd, so does a specialist pool about 30 miles away, so does Nuffield which is 10 miles away. You need to get this sorted. Or failing that, take him yourself everyday. Get him holding a float, kicking his legs, get him picking things up from the pool floor. He just needs to build his confidence, but he’s a good 8-10 years behind everyone else.

So you’ve been in UK for 2 years Y7 and now Y8. Why have you not taken him swimming yourself? It’s a life skill and one you could have taught your DS, at least water confidence.
You cant send him on the trip if he can’t swim obviously.
Im not sure what responses you expected?! This one is definitely on you OP.

Op if you want to pm with your area I’m happy to help you try to find some leads.

A lot of private schools have pools and offer lessons with the option for 1:1 sessions which is what your ds will need. I’m sure you can get him on an intensive course

Can you take 2 weeks of part leave (finishing at 4) and take him swimming each day for 2 weeks?
It should be enough at that age to learn basic swimming especially if you go each weekend until the trip to help too.

My DS1 is now 15 and he has just learned to swim. He has dyspraxia and recently also learned to tie his own shoelaces. He still cannot ride a bike.

I am from Australia and grew up on the beach and with our own swimming pool so learning to swim was very important to me. DS has had so many series of lessons and one to ones. DS2 on the other hand does NOT have dyspraxia and can swim extremely well.

For our Year 8 residential it was on the Isle of Wight and was exclusively water sports. I told his teachers and they were fine to have him in the rib with them or the instructors so he was able to participate a bit.

How Ds ended up learning to swim (he swims very poorly, but can do a lentgh or so on his own) is we started attending a special swimming class for kids with special needs. There was no pressure and parents have to be in the pool also. he has been doing that for now 4 years every single Saturday and it is only in the last few months he has been able to do a vague approximation of breast stroke.

Point is- the teachers will have come across students who cannot swim for a whole variety of reasons. Ask them about the residential and what they advise. If possible go swimming at the weekends just together and play in the pool. Our pool has family sessions at the weekends where you just splash around and it is fun. But that said- these things and readily available pools are a fact for some, but not many.

Sorry you are getting a hard time on here, you need to focus on the best actions now, not what you could have done.

I wouldn’t be sending a non-swimmer on a sea based activity holiday when the school apparently hadn’t even considered non-swimmers or weak swimmers. It suggests they have not considered the children’s safety seriously.

Regard him learning to swim, take him yourself and just encourage him in the same way you encouraged him to walk. With assistance to start with to build confidence then small steps of pushing off the ground for one stroke, then a couple and keep encouraging till he can swim a couple of metres. After that it’s just lots of practice.

Maybe find some activities he can do during the summer or on holiday so he has similar experiences to those on the trip as well.

How many weeks until he goes OP? You could get him in a pool every day for an hour and teach him how to swim... lots of you tube videos available...

I haven't read all the replies, but can you not just take him to the pool every day and practice? Or advertise for a swimming tutor for intensive. Swimming is a really important life sklll.

I dont think she is coming back. I totally agree with all the other people saying why doesn't she teach him.herself though. I taught all my kids to swim on family holidays and they are all reasonable swimmers.