Should DC go on the school residential when he can't swim?

[Thoughtfulgolondrina]

The Year 8 Residential is coming soon and most days water sports/swimming is the activity of the day. Due to COVID shutting pools and stopping swimming lessons for a couple years of primary and then living abroad for a couple more years of primary, my son can't swim. We have tried to get him into swimming lessons now but all in the area have unending waiting lists or won't teach older children because he is outside the age range for the national swimming programme implemented in England. The end result is my DC doesn't want to go on the residential but will miss the fun with his friends on the other parts of the trip. For my part, l am worried about his safety. While abroad, he almost drowned at a beach. I don't feel his teachers really understand 'he can't swim'. Therefore, l worry about whether the vigilance will be there. Also, my DC, rightly so, wonders what he will do instead. There are whole days of water sport (boogie-boarding, surfing) and other days of hiking to a pool to spend the afternoon swimming. What should l do?

Lots are proficient by that age

@Thoughtfulgolondrina There has been some good advice on here so far and I just wanted to highlight/add a couple of things.

1. I’m surprised that a school is having a residential with entirely water-based activities (if I’ve understood it correctly); given the large numbers of children who cannot swim well, I would’ve thought a more mixed programme would be better.
2. You’re right that it would be v dangerous for your son to participate in water-based activities as a non-swimmer. I used to be a lifeguard and saw people get into difficulties all the time, and quite often they were people who could swim a bit but got into unexpected situations - tipped out of a kayak, in a deep pool at the end of a water slide, wave machine coming on - never mind those who couldn’t swim at all. Often people overestimate their swimming abilities so it’s good that you have a good awareness of what your son can and can’t do.
3. Regarding lessons, it sounds very frustrating that you haven’t been able to access any and/or seemingly that waiting lists haven’t moved at all. It’s not clear if you’ve added your son to any waiting lists, which I think is what some posters are asking to clarify, but nonetheless it sounds like it won’t happen before the residential.
4. Many people have suggested teaching your son the basics yourself - I just wanted to say, having taught adult swimming lessons myself, I know that there are many adults out there who have had a frightening near-drowning experience as a child which has put them off swimming. If this is your situation, I would understand why you wouldn’t feel able to teach your child yourself.
5. A couple of last attempts to help. Firstly, as a teenager I was absolutely delighted when someone wanted me to give them/their child private lessons. It was way better money than waitressing/bar work. Some of those bored-looking lifeguards at your local pool will likely also be qualified Level 1 teachers - possibly Level 2. Obviously caution is needed and I would be asking for DBS checks (which those already teaching should have) and be attending any lessons myself, but it might be relatively simple to set up. Secondly, if you cannot swim yourself and/or a really bad swimming experience is preventing you from teaching your son, do you have a relative or friend who could help

I hope you get this sorted.

@UnintentionalArcher it’s a year 8 trip. These kids are 12/13 years old.

Yes. Thanks. Edited my post just to say school trip not primary.

Thinking some more about this @Thoughtfulgolondrina.

There are two things I have been determined that my very young (4yo) DS should get to grips with this year. One is swimming and the other is speaking English (we don't live in the UK).

I decided to push these things because I don't want him to be able to remember ever not knowing how to swim or speak English. But from my point of view, it has been a lot of hard work over a sustained period of time, and I will remember how much effort it took even if he doesn't.

The biggest problem with teaching a very young child a new skill, in my opinion, is motivation. If something is difficult and they don't understand why they need to be able to do it, they will resist. They will resist until they can do it, and then once they can do it they will think it is super cool that they can do it.

Your DS has the motivation to learn to swim because he wants to go on this school trip. He understands that it is something he should learn to do.

I've read a lot of threads on Mumsnet about the optimal age for teaching children to swim and many people have said it's a waste of time and money teaching very little children to swim because it takes years, whereas the ones who start a bit later catch on much more quickly. On the other hand, I think adults who cannot swim tend to assume that it is too late for them.

Don't let your DS become an adult who cannot swim. The best time for him to learn was a few years ago. The second best time is today.

Stop making it a bigger deal than it needs to be.

Take him to the pool this afternoon. Explain that filling your lungs with air will help you float and that kicking your legs will help you propel through the water. Watch YouTube videos about learning how to swim.

He wants to do it, so tell him that you're going to teach him, it's not rocket science, and there's no reason why he shouldn't be able to swim in the next three weeks if you take him to the pool as often as possible and work at it.

And yet…

The report states that only 70% of Year 7 pupils (aged 11-12) can swim competently, confidently and proficiently over a distance of at least 25m.

So much older children, over a much smaller distance.

It also varies massively by area and levels of deprivation.

Please please prioritise teaching your DC to
swim. It’s a huge safety issue and also - as you’re now discovering- a social limiting problem too. Covid made things tricky but not impossible- as you’ve mentioned his peers are going and swimming, they had the same limitations during Covid and managed to learn to swim.
I appreciate that lessons aren’t cheap and not everyone can afford to pay for them, but I’d ditch the residential this year and use the money saved to find a private 1-2-1 tutor or small group crash course to teach him to swim ASAP.

The burning question which the OP has failed to answer is: Does the activity trip require a minimum swimming ability (eg 25 metres) for students? It seems odd that a trip which is totally based around water based sports and activities wouldn’t. And if there is a requirement, then the answer is simple: the OP’s son can’t go.

if there isn’t a requirement, then it sounds like alternative activities will be provided for certain sessions.

here’s an idea OP: talk to the school! Find out if students need to be swimmers to go on the trip! It must be taking place soon because Year 8 will be over in about 7 weeks!

While you’re at it, talk to some of those other year 8 parents whose children had the same COVID restrictions as your son, and who live in the same locality as you so are also suffering the 2 year wait lists for swimming lessons!

basically - the account given by the OP is full of holes. Oh and swimming pools were not shut for 2 years due to COVID.

if there’s any truth at all in the OPs account then fgs start taking your son to a swimming pool. You’re the parent. You say he’s already nearly drowned once before at the beach - this is when he was several years younger so wtaf were you doing as parents? First thing I’d be doing is taking my kids to a pool and giving them the basics of water safety. You don’t need to be a swimming coach to teach how to tread water, float on your back or do basic strokes.

Boogie boarding and surfing are for competent swimmers. No, even with life jacket. Example, rowing or kayaking swim 100m and thread water 5 mins is required at some places. The issue is the group size, DC did Devon activity and one was swim to buoy, got there 20 mins before the entire group due to being a fast swimmer and waited for 1 group leader helping their group of 7 others. So overseeing is not focus just on your child.
Ask for a competent swimmer at six form or university to do one to one teacher. Pay for one to one teaching and view it as a life skill.

Assuming the residential is this month or next, you cannot be certain that a crash course can bring results in time.

When I read of your DS having to be rescued, that for me was enough to argue he should not go.

I’m guessing you can’t swim either op?

This. You also say you’re willing to throw money at it - and yet you haven’t, even though adult lessons are available. You could also have just been taking him to a swimming pool for fun for the last few years and teaching him the basics yourself. He’s even ‘nearly drowned’ and still you’ve done nothing?

How long do you have until the residential? IME you usually have the best part of a school year from signing up to the trip itself to give parents a chance to pay. Assuming that you haven't even said yes to the trip yet, doesn't that give you ages to get him lessons?

Have you posted on a local FB group for recommendations? People always tag the teachers they know for things like this.

The OP says she has been willing to drive any distance that can be done there and back in one day to get her ds lessons, yet she’s strangely unwilling to tell us her basic location. Just the county would be helpful! She’d be totally unidentifiable and it’s highly likely Mumsnet would come up with several suggestions.

anyone else smell BS?

I wonder if having been out of the country and perhaps not linked in with other school muns it might be hard to know how/where to access lessons for a boy who isn't the right age/skill set for typical group lessons.

You have a few really good options.

The best is to take him yourself, either with the book recommended above or YouTube videos. He will pick up the basics quickly at his age; this is something you can do yourself starting today.

Look at: state secondary schools, grammar schools and private/public schools in your area that have a pool. Find out who runs the lessons. Call them and ask about 1 to 1 for a Yr 8 complete beginner.

Look at gyms (Nuffield as recommended above) or hotel health clubs in your area. Loads rent out the pool for lessons. Again, find out who runs the lessons, call and ask about one to ones.

There are also private companies that offer lessons; again call them, explain the situation. Even where we are, these run in very rural locations eg in a pool on someone's farm!

We have also been swimming, seen teachers doing the lessons in the pool and asked if they have time themselves or a recommendation for a one to one teacher.

We also live in an area where swimming lessons get very booked up and have had success with all these routes. The best option though would be just a few one to ones supplemented by just taking him swimming to practice, bit like learning to drive!

Good luck!

That was a long way of saying I would not send a non swimmer who has already been rescued once from nearly drowning on a watersports based school trip. It will be awful for him; use it to motivate him if he is nervous. One step at a time.

OP talk to the school bout what he will be doing if he is not in the water. They should have some provision for non swimmers or those who cannot go in the water for other reasons. I'm not sure many year 8 girls with a period will want to be in the water although I know they have better options that were available to me.

Re learning to swim.

If money is not an issue have a look at local hotels with pools and teach him yourself or find a swimming instructor who will teach outside their usual classes.

If you consider swimming a ‘life skill’ how has your child reached the age of 12/13 without learning how to swim? You chose to take your kid overseas

Why don't you just teach him yourself? Take him to the pool. Get in the pool. Show him how to swim. It doesn't massively matter at this stage if he has good technique, he just needs to be able to move in the water and not drown. A few weeks of going to the pool every day, starting with building water confidence- ducking his head under, floating on his back etc. and progressing to actual strokes and he will be able to do 50m.

If you’re willing to pay, I’m sure you could find private low ratio swimming lessons. DD1 does lessons with a 1:3 ratio at a private swimming school but they are £15 a lesson. However she needs that smaller setting to progress, she wouldn’t get on in one of the big local authority classes (unfortunately for our bank balance). I’d try to find somewhere like that but the most important thing is always just taking them yourself. That’s where the majority of progress happens between lessons. Make it something you do every Sunday morning or something for example.

@Thoughtfulgolondrina do you have a david Lloyds anywhere close? ours has swimming teachers who also do adult lessons (but isn’t advertised as doing so!)
We had to join DL for swimming lessons as everyone else has years on waiting lists and /or offers slots at 2pm on a weekday (when kids are in school)….

I really struggle to believe there are no private lessons available in your area. We live in a very rural town out in the sticks and I can think of at least three private providers who I see regularly advertising on fb groups etc. Have you asked local hotels with pools whether they have outside instructors who give private lessons, as most of the private instructors I know use hotel pools.

Hotel pools would have availability. I've just looked in our area and found 3 from the first 4 hotels that have availability for 121 private lessons. He wouldn't need many. Or you could pay the subs to join and teach him. The nearest to us is 32 per month for swimming so 64 for both (maybe cheaper for children) . If you went twice a week that's 8 quid a session...

Teach him yourself
I taught all mine to swim ,we were home educating ,so no free school swimming lessons for us .
Check when your pool has free sessions and just take him , every spare minute you have
Mine picked it up really quickly

A young boy of 16 drowned in a lake near me a few months ago. I walk past the lake a lot and I always think about him. He was excited, it was hot and people were swimming.

I think it’s essential children learn to swim.