My son sent a nude - will he be prosecuted? What happens now?

[MumOfOneB0y]

Hi,

My son is 15 and has just admitted to some stuff.

He met a girl online through his other friend (also 15). She asked his other friends (let's call him Joe) for a picture of his penis. Joe sent one. Joe then ended up (my son doesn't know how) with a picture of her breasts in a bra. She also asked my son (who she was at this point dating) for a picture of his penis. My son asked if he will get anything in return. She said he can see her breasts. They traded these nudes. My son deleted the photos (as per her request). But then she asked to see my son ejaculate and my son sent a video. He then asked if she would feel comfortable sending a picture of her butt in pants. She then responded with "my dad just saw that message on my watch". And my son asked what he said and apparently her dad was threatening to call my son and ask to speak to me. I would've been okay with this but now she is 'gohsting' my son and him and his friend are worried. We live in Leeds and this girl lives in Durham. What is going to happen? Please help!

You honestly think the police are going to arrest a 15 year old boy for sending a dick pic? 😂 the girl if real, could be done on coercion? She asked two boys for dick pics first?

Some good advice folllowing my earlier comment thanks, that was, i hold my hands up, textbook knee jerk reaction / panic.

My comment on Adolescence was rooted in considering the implications of letting kids spend hours unchecked on their phones focussed on an online world/relationships. I dont think its entirely irrelevant in the wider context of this scenario, but agree there is better advice for the OP and her situation from other posters on this thread.

Actually no.

I dont think removing phones is about punishment, its about protection if a child is struggling to use it appropriately.

My comment on Adolescence was rooted in considering the implications of letting kids spend hours unchecked on their phones focussed on an online world/relationships

What Adolescent taught us was the vital importance of connection with your teen. That was the central safeguarding theme, in my view.

The father lacked connection with his son... boxing instead of art, not understanding his friendships, not listening to his views, so unable to challenge them. The father also lacked connection with his daughter. The police officer lacked connection with his son.

That lack of connection is not just on child. It's also not just about online behaviour.

Our children, especially our sons, are losing family connections and so they are susceptible to unhealthy connections online.

Adolescence does have a lesson to teach in the OPs situation. It's not that the son needs punishment and control tho. It's that he needs a safe relationship where he can make mistakes and feels confident in asking for advise.

If a teens online behaviour is unsafe, the answer isn't no phone - that will just mean child will be more secretive next time theyre unsafe. Instead it might mean greater monitoring, emphasising safety. That said, if a teens online behaviour is harmful - they pressure for nudes, they bully etc. That does need a punishment, so time without a phone could help teach a lesson. Bringing this back to the OP, key point would parents not knee-jerking an assumption that sharing nudes is harmful (so warrents a punishment), when often it isn't.

No she didn't.

Unless the girl is a 55 year old male in fact

That is exactly why I really worry about the move to ban smartphones for younger teens.

I do quite a lot of work in this area, and it's been very interesting watching differences in groups over the last 10 years or so.

5 years ago, 15/16 year old kids (especially girls) were obsessed with validation online - how many followers, how many likes, how many comments. I'm not seeing that in the same way in the current 15/16s. They've grown up with it being their normal and so it's not very exciting, Biggest issue with them is the rabbit hole of endless reels and spending hours watching rubbish.

I've also seen with my own child the various pitfalls and teaching moments. She's white with a lot of black friends - I had to explain quite early on (11/12) that certain song lyrics were not really acceptable anywhere but they were a thousand time more unacceptable if she used that song than if her friends did.

We've had the conversations about how screenshots mean something said in the heat of the moment means it's there forever.

I've done the sneaking in to use her fingerprint to unlock the phone and have a scroll through the WhatsApp groups just to see what was being said and how DD interacted with her peers.

Hopefully she's aware enough of the things to look out for that she'll be safe in the later teen years where consequences can be more life-altering. But I would hate to be having to try and have the conversations I had at 11-13 with a 16 year old who 'knows everything' .

this. These are the three option.

hopefully it’s the first.

That's not how a teen will view it which is why it's not recommended by online safeguarding experts.