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Secondary education

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Original poster

Son has been suspended for being five minutes late in total

147 replies

QuickAzureJoker · 29/01/2025 21:50

My son 15 has been suspended from school until further notice 2 weeks ago he was 5 minutes late to school as he has to follow a one way system which makes it take longer to get to his particular class so he showed up minutes late and told to get out as soon as he walked through the door he then had to sit in a different room in silence missing the entire lesson just because he was five minutes late one time he was also given a 1:30 minute detention set for the next day he came home fuming about what had happened and refused to do the 1:30 detention as he said was unfair and over the top for one time lateness, as he didn't go to the detention it has been updated so that he has to sit in a room for 6 hours without talking just on a laptop doing work unrelated to his lessons for the day and he suffers with migraines so I think it will be a bad ideo for him to sit at the laptop all day and the fact that he is not allowed to go outside for break and lunch so when the day came last Thursday he refused said that it was still unfair and asked them to remove it and the head of year said "unfortunately that's the rules" he has struggled in the past to be in school and was put on a 8 week course to help him get back into school and for the last 2 weeks he was in everyday so that's why we think they should let him have some lenience around the detention especially as it was the second day of the new one way system and arrive in five minutes rule. As he refused to go and do the all day sanction he was suspended and is still suspended until further notice does anyone know what to do to get it removed or put in a complaint to chance the rules

OP posts:
MrWise · 29/01/2025 22:00

So they made punctuality a zero-tolerance standard and he was late.
He was then exited and given a 90 minute detention? Or was it a lunchtime det at 1.30?!
If this is a First Offence, 90 minutes seems extreme. If a lunchtime det, that is normal.
I doubt you have the full story here.
He did not go to his det so it has been upscaled to a day's isolation.
He has refused that so is excluded as a result.

I think unless you are wanting a Managed Move, he agrees to the sanction in place, if other students are treated in the exact same way.

Octavia64 · 29/01/2025 22:02

Most schools are small enough that it's hard to be late for a lesson unless you either go to the loo in between lessons or are messing around.

However refusing to do a detention will never end well and yes they will have put him in isolation for this.

You are wasting your time challenging it.

If he had a good reason for being late he should have spoken either to the teacher or pastoral staff and asked them to take the detention off. This is quite common in most schools and as long as it is polite request and a good reason will be done.

HPandthelastwish · 29/01/2025 22:03

Tell him to be on time, follow the rules and do his sanctions. Life isn't fair and now he needs to face the consequences. School is not a democracy it wouldn't be safe if it was so he does as hes told just like he'll have to at work without arguing back.

Although your writing style screams of the person with a 5yo old and a 12 y old whose face gets all red.

Hercisback1 · 29/01/2025 22:04

He was suspended for refusing the detention, not being late. You aren't helping him with your rhetoric.

Sometimes in life, rules feel unfair. The best thing to do is accept the consequence and move on, as your son is finding out.

PercyFone · 29/01/2025 22:06

He wasn't suspended for being late, he was suspended for repeatedly saying that the rules don't apply to him.

Tell him to stop being a righteous pain in the arse.

BiggerBoat1 · 29/01/2025 22:06

He wasn’t suspended for being 5 minutes late. He was suspended for refusing to accept the consequences of his lateness.

HollyBerryz · 29/01/2025 22:07

They can't just suspend him until further notice

Pastalina · 29/01/2025 22:07

It sounds extreme, but my experience of my children’s school is that they are often bonkers with their rules. You have to suck up the detentions as there is no reasoning with that system.

grumpypedestrian · 29/01/2025 22:09

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TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 29/01/2025 22:11

I don't think he was suspended for arriving five mins late for his lesson.

MrWise · 29/01/2025 22:11

They won't change the rules if they are being applied to the whole school body.
I cannot understand from your post if you mean it was a 1.30 pm detention OR a 1x 30 minutes detention or a I hr 30 minute detention.
The last, as I said, would appear to be harsh.
I am guessing your child - on arriving late - has been rude/answered back/got defensive/doubled down. Hence the exit.
Then because they feel, rightly or wrongly, aggrieved, they have justified not going to the det rather than just sucking it up.
My DD had a lunch det for being late, felt sick, told the supervising teacher and left without permission. Their det was then upscaled to an hour after school. I had little sympathy. She did the SLT detention.

GoldenNuggets08 · 29/01/2025 22:11

he was 5 minutes late to school as he has to follow a one way system which makes it take longer to get to his particular class

I'm a teacher and I HATE when students use this excuse for being late. Every other student managed to make their way around the one way system and get there on time.

But anyway..... as everyone else has said, he is suspended for not engaging in the other punishments, fairly standard procedure in any school I've taught in. But they are definitely in the wrong suspending him until further notice, and (more than likely) aren't allowed do this.

chargeitup · 29/01/2025 22:11

Your title is misleading.

He hasn't been suspended for being 5 mins late. He has been suspended for refusing to attended detention

DorothyStorm · 29/01/2025 22:12

PercyFone · 29/01/2025 22:06

He wasn't suspended for being late, he was suspended for repeatedly saying that the rules don't apply to him.

Tell him to stop being a righteous pain in the arse.

This. It also sounds like you would benefit from a parenting course. It sounds like be is running rings around you.

what sanctions have you put in place at home recently and how does he respond?

Cece92 · 29/01/2025 22:13

I mean my high school was one way system and had 3 floors so if I went from music next period was maths I had to walk all the way round the one way systems then along the corridor to the UP stairs up 3 flights. It took genuinely 5 mins if you were lucky sometimes more. I don't think it's fair he was told to get out for it if it genuinely can't be helped. A warning would have been fair enough but he's suspended for refusing punishment. You wouldn't behave that way in the workplace. X

fiddleleaffig · 29/01/2025 22:15

He was five minutes late so he was given a 30minute detention.
He refused to attend so was given a day in isolation.
He refused to attend that as well so now has a day suspension.

Pretty standard behaviour policy from a school desperately trying to improve punctuality. You agreed to follow these sanctions when you chose to send your son there. Don't like it then find another school.

Also, punctuation helps.

RosesAndHellebores · 29/01/2025 22:17

He is at school. He will hopefully learn some important lessons from this.

Be on time
Accept the consequence of being late
Do not refuse the consequences

Brilliant lessons for the world of work where he is likely to be swiftly dismissed if he doesn't attend, is often late, ignores the rules and ignores consequences.

LIZS · 29/01/2025 22:26

So his defiance and refusal to engage is the real issue. You seem to be enabling his behaviour. However you should have any exclusion in writing and a time period

Viviennemary · 29/01/2025 22:32

It seems you are facilitating his reluctance to obey the school rules and encouraging him to challenge authority. There is little leewayfor schools these days as regards acceptable punishment. And I expect there is more to this.

Phthia · 29/01/2025 22:35

Schools with these incredibly rigid rules that take no account of individual circumstances and fail to recognise any need to make adjustments are, frankly, bad schools. If I were you I would look for an alternative if at all possible.

Greyish2025 · 29/01/2025 22:36

PercyFone · 29/01/2025 22:06

He wasn't suspended for being late, he was suspended for repeatedly saying that the rules don't apply to him.

Tell him to stop being a righteous pain in the arse.

Yeah, he sounds entitled

1smallhamsterfoot · 29/01/2025 22:37

Why does he think he can just refuse to do punishments?

cansu · 29/01/2025 22:39

He has been suspended from your own description for refusing to do as he was asked. He has been repeatedly defiant and has not completed any of the lower level sanctions for his defiance. If this is the fuss he makes each time he has to do something he doesn't want to it isn't hard to see why he has been suspended. You need to stop enabling his behaviour and start making sure he follows the rules.

worcesterpear · 29/01/2025 22:40

You and your son have to decide if it is in his best interests to continue at this school, or if he would be better off elsewhere (a difficult move at this stage). Does he have friends at school, are there some bits he likes about it?) If so, it might be best to just get on with the punishments, in the process he will learn a bit about unfairness and how the world works. Does he have any special needs? If so, put in complaints/objections to the SENCO and local authority.

Zae134 · 29/01/2025 22:41

You need to reframe this when you speak to him- he was suspended because he refused to sit the original detention (something you obviously supported from a home perspective). There is, I'm sure, a lengthy drip-feed coming regarding his needs and issues he's had at the school before, whether this is true or not doesn't matter.

For now, you need to think about the future- the school will always want him to be on time for lessons, he will always find this irritating. Yes the school can be more understanding, but you can build his resilience and teach him to speak to people in authority in a tone and manner that supports his perspective? Maybe in the future he will find the rules upsetting when he speaks to his boss, a security guard, a police officer. The world is not fair and he needs to be better equipped to deal with it than just throwing a tantrum.