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Secondary education

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Original poster

Son has been suspended for being five minutes late in total

147 replies

QuickAzureJoker · 29/01/2025 21:50

My son 15 has been suspended from school until further notice 2 weeks ago he was 5 minutes late to school as he has to follow a one way system which makes it take longer to get to his particular class so he showed up minutes late and told to get out as soon as he walked through the door he then had to sit in a different room in silence missing the entire lesson just because he was five minutes late one time he was also given a 1:30 minute detention set for the next day he came home fuming about what had happened and refused to do the 1:30 detention as he said was unfair and over the top for one time lateness, as he didn't go to the detention it has been updated so that he has to sit in a room for 6 hours without talking just on a laptop doing work unrelated to his lessons for the day and he suffers with migraines so I think it will be a bad ideo for him to sit at the laptop all day and the fact that he is not allowed to go outside for break and lunch so when the day came last Thursday he refused said that it was still unfair and asked them to remove it and the head of year said "unfortunately that's the rules" he has struggled in the past to be in school and was put on a 8 week course to help him get back into school and for the last 2 weeks he was in everyday so that's why we think they should let him have some lenience around the detention especially as it was the second day of the new one way system and arrive in five minutes rule. As he refused to go and do the all day sanction he was suspended and is still suspended until further notice does anyone know what to do to get it removed or put in a complaint to chance the rules

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 29/01/2025 22:42

What country are you in? In England you have to have a defined period of suspension

Paradoes · 29/01/2025 22:43

You’re making a rod for your own back as his mother

Brainstorm23 · 29/01/2025 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Here you go courtesy of ChatGPT

The user's 15-year-old son was suspended from school after being late by five minutes due to a one-way system at school. He was given a 90-minute detention for the lateness but felt it was unfair and refused to attend. The detention was then extended to a 6-hour, silent workday on a laptop, which the son also refused, citing unfairness and his struggle with migraines. When he refused the punishment, he was suspended. The family believes some leniency is warranted, given that the son had been consistently attending school for the last two weeks after previously struggling, and they are seeking advice on how to appeal the suspension or challenge the rules.

Topseyt123 · 29/01/2025 22:48

So, from what I can actually understand from your incredibly hard to understand and sparsely punctuated post, your son is so pompous and self-important that he thinks the rules don't apply to him.

Tell him to get his head out of his arse and do his punishments!

Wheelz46 · 29/01/2025 22:48

At my child's school, the children and the parents sign a document confirming acknowledgement of sanctions if pupils fail to adhere to certain rules.

Lateness is one of them, this was highly publicised to us at the open evening. Quite simple, if you are late with no good reason, sanctions will be implemented.

Even without being pre-warned, I would still expect consequences for lateness.

Your son was not suspended for being 5 minutes late, he was suspended for continuing to defy the consequences of being late.

In these circumstances, I personally think you should be supporting school, not trying different methods to try and get your son out of it.

No wonder teachers are leaving in droves, if parent's can't support something as simple as time keeping.

TitusMoan · 29/01/2025 22:49

QuickAzureJoker · 29/01/2025 21:50

My son 15 has been suspended from school until further notice 2 weeks ago he was 5 minutes late to school as he has to follow a one way system which makes it take longer to get to his particular class so he showed up minutes late and told to get out as soon as he walked through the door he then had to sit in a different room in silence missing the entire lesson just because he was five minutes late one time he was also given a 1:30 minute detention set for the next day he came home fuming about what had happened and refused to do the 1:30 detention as he said was unfair and over the top for one time lateness, as he didn't go to the detention it has been updated so that he has to sit in a room for 6 hours without talking just on a laptop doing work unrelated to his lessons for the day and he suffers with migraines so I think it will be a bad ideo for him to sit at the laptop all day and the fact that he is not allowed to go outside for break and lunch so when the day came last Thursday he refused said that it was still unfair and asked them to remove it and the head of year said "unfortunately that's the rules" he has struggled in the past to be in school and was put on a 8 week course to help him get back into school and for the last 2 weeks he was in everyday so that's why we think they should let him have some lenience around the detention especially as it was the second day of the new one way system and arrive in five minutes rule. As he refused to go and do the all day sanction he was suspended and is still suspended until further notice does anyone know what to do to get it removed or put in a complaint to chance the rules

OP. Do you remember having to write in sentences and use full stops when you were at school? They really help with making your posts easy to read and easy to understand.

Notgivenuphope · 29/01/2025 22:50

He is not suspended for being late. He is suspended for being arsey and deciding that he won't do the detention. The punishment has escalated because he wouldn't back down. That isn't how it works.

JeremiahBullfrog · 29/01/2025 22:51

How is the school supposed to respond to pupils refusing the punishments they are given? Do you really think they should shrug their shoulders and say "well that's OK then"? There's no point whatsoever in having discipline if there are no consequences for ignoring it.

user989 · 29/01/2025 22:53

Your son needs to learn to follow rules and to accept the consequences of his actions

Blusterylimp · 29/01/2025 22:55

TitusMoan · 29/01/2025 22:49

OP. Do you remember having to write in sentences and use full stops when you were at school? They really help with making your posts easy to read and easy to understand.

Show quote history

Maybe she spent all day trying to negotiate the one way system so didn’t ever make it to English class?

Pleasealexa · 29/01/2025 22:57

Back the school. I doubt you have the full story and your son needs to learn that rules are rules. Life is unfair, get over it and move on.

Jennifershuffles · 29/01/2025 23:01

There's no reasoning with zero tolerance schools. You just have to do the time. I think it's bollocks, but if you're stuck in one of those schools you just have to do it or as you've seen they just keep escalating.

craigth162 · 29/01/2025 23:01

chargeitup · 29/01/2025 22:11

Your title is misleading.

He hasn't been suspended for being 5 mins late. He has been suspended for refusing to attended detention

This. He has refused to follow the rules and consequences of being late. He deserves his punishment. If everyone refused to do detentions etc the school would have no control. Teach him some respect.

WhateverEh · 29/01/2025 23:02

Surely sitting out of the lesson was enough of a punishment for being 5 minutes late?

crazy school discipline, a prime example of how NOT to inspire or encourage a student who is struggling to attend.

Schoolchoicesucks · 29/01/2025 23:03

A 90 minute detention does sound excessive for a child being less than 5 minutes late to lesson. However that is the consequence school decided, based on their expectations of pupil's behaviour and the circumstances of your son being late.

He then refused to attend the detention and refused to attend the isolation.

You are making excuses for him with the screentime/migraine/lack of outdoors time.

This is doing him no favours at all.

If he had attended the detention, he would be in school and learning.

You can sympathise all you like whether the original detention was harsh or not, but he is refusing to follow the school rules and accept their authority.

PokerFriedDips · 29/01/2025 23:09

He hasn't been suspended for being 5 minutes late. He's been suspended for being rude and confrontational and uncooperative with the detentions that are the default consequences for lateness.

I guarantee that the rose-tinted account you gave heard from him will be nothing like how the teachers experienced it. His behaviour could have been way out of line as he "refused" the various consequences.

Iloveyoubut · 29/01/2025 23:17

Unpopular opinion… it’s bullshit. Bullshit he has to respect right now… but hopefully he’ll be a leader one day.

Pieceofpurplesky · 29/01/2025 23:19

So he was late.
He got detention for this. Like most schools.
He reused the detention so got put in isolation.
He refused isolation and argued as to why he should be there, asking the teacher to remove it.
Because of this he has been suspended.
All normal, I am sure he wasn't asking politely either. You need to support the school

Newmumhere40 · 29/01/2025 23:21

Another parent who believes everything their child tells them 😒. Best of luck if you continue down this road.

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 29/01/2025 23:22

PercyFone · 29/01/2025 22:06

He wasn't suspended for being late, he was suspended for repeatedly saying that the rules don't apply to him.

Tell him to stop being a righteous pain in the arse.

But the rules are stupid!
He didn't create the one way system that made him late.
It's absolutely ridiculous to impose these sorts of sanctions for a one-off incident.

Newmumhere40 · 29/01/2025 23:23

I can already see this boy's future, I can also see who is to blame.

MrsCobbit · 29/01/2025 23:24

PercyFone · 29/01/2025 22:06

He wasn't suspended for being late, he was suspended for repeatedly saying that the rules don't apply to him.

Tell him to stop being a righteous pain in the arse.

Totally - your son is the problem - hoping he’s in the frame for a managed move

BBQPete · 29/01/2025 23:34

No, even by what you've written in your OP, he wasn't suspended for being 5 mins late at all.
He was suspended for firstly refusing to do the detention, then refusing to do the increased detention given for refusing to do the original detention, etc. etc.etc

Maybe he could learn from this in terms of any fines, parking tickets etc in future - the more indignent fuss you kick up in complaining about how rules don't apply to you, the bigger the fine gets.

If you are actually the parent, and not the teenager, then the best parenting you could do is explain all this to him.

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 29/01/2025 23:39

Yeah I call bullshit on this one.

L0bstersLass · 29/01/2025 23:43

@QuickAzureJoker Your job is to install discipline in him and get him to realise that turning up on time is important and that actions have consequences.
The worst thing you can do is talk shit about the school.

This is a serious learning opportunity for him. Do not let him think that he can do whatever he fancies and all will be well.