Son has been suspended for being five minutes late in total

[QuickAzureJoker]

My son 15 has been suspended from school until further notice 2 weeks ago he was 5 minutes late to school as he has to follow a one way system which makes it take longer to get to his particular class so he showed up minutes late and told to get out as soon as he walked through the door he then had to sit in a different room in silence missing the entire lesson just because he was five minutes late one time he was also given a 1:30 minute detention set for the next day he came home fuming about what had happened and refused to do the 1:30 detention as he said was unfair and over the top for one time lateness, as he didn't go to the detention it has been updated so that he has to sit in a room for 6 hours without talking just on a laptop doing work unrelated to his lessons for the day and he suffers with migraines so I think it will be a bad ideo for him to sit at the laptop all day and the fact that he is not allowed to go outside for break and lunch so when the day came last Thursday he refused said that it was still unfair and asked them to remove it and the head of year said "unfortunately that's the rules" he has struggled in the past to be in school and was put on a 8 week course to help him get back into school and for the last 2 weeks he was in everyday so that's why we think they should let him have some lenience around the detention especially as it was the second day of the new one way system and arrive in five minutes rule. As he refused to go and do the all day sanction he was suspended and is still suspended until further notice does anyone know what to do to get it removed or put in a complaint to chance the rules

It really doesn’t sound extreme tbh. It screams my child is an absolute pita who is disruptive arriving to lessons late then argues about (probably everything) but at the least about the consequences of his actions and refuses to abide by them then goes home and tells Mum how unfair it is, how it infringes on his human rights blah blah and Mum sucks it up and agrees with him thus making him worse. It’s actually quite astounding how many parents pander to this nonsense, declare that teachers are bullies on a power trip wanting to punish for being unavoidably 5 mins late, for looking at a fly, for asking where the Middle East is, for looking at the time and so on when actually teachers just want to teach in a respectful classroom without latecomers loudly announcing their arrival or swinging off the doorframe to announce it, without 16 year olds running around the classroom screaming ‘There’s a fly!’, without interrupting a discussion on Macbeth’s culpability with ‘Miss, where’s the Middle East?’ OP, tell your child to behave and stop being an argumentative pain in the behind.

So he isn’t suspended for being 5 minutes late then? You’re part of the problem. He doesn’t get to pick and choose what punishments he does. Like every other school in the country they are probably having issues with behaviour. Students no longer need to be outside of school to miss lesson time they’re deliberately doing “laps” of the school or hiding in the toilets. This is why they have given what you deem a harsh punishment because they’re trying to deter students from doing it. It’s very disruptive to lessons when you constantly have students drip feeding in. There’s an easy way to avoid a “harsh” punishment - be on time. This is what you should be telling your son, not pandering to his justifications.

I suspect that this is the usual bare minimum my DS did nothing whilst cranking up the issues that he has to give an excuse for poor behaviour.
Being late, is not normally a reason to send a pupil out of a lesson, but arriving late, loud and disrupting the lesson is. Which may also explain the 90 minute detention.

Why didn't he just do the detention? Why did he say no? That's how school works, you get disciplined for not following rules. He could drop out and stay at home? Or he could follow the rules and stay in school. It's his choice really. But staying in school would give him the qualifications to build on, when he leaves.

Think yourself lucky they do this, both my kids have completely disengaged because they're allowed to roam about all day. They're doing you and everyone else a massive favour

Npdr

So. Moving on, what do you intend to do, to resolve? Have you emailed HoY and Head?

This is a rule you have just made up.

And we wonder why we have a young persons mental health crisis and a drop in attendance? Why on earth would anyone let their child endure this kind of enviorment?! Its inhuman. Sorry but i'd be moving him ASAP and explaining why.

Children are not usually suspended due to a missed detention and being late to class once. There are strict policies that all schools have to adhere to, before suspension is considered. Parents would be called at the very least and normally invited into school to discuss their child's behaviour. A parent would be notified of any suspension and the reasons behind it, by the school. Unless, your son's school is very strict, then this course of action, over two instances seems heavy handed. I suggest looking at the schools behaviour policy (this will be online) and it will tell you their expected behaviour, and explain the sanctions (including the process for suspension, exclusion). No school just suspends students on a whim, usually is due to persistent poor behaviour, where usual sanctions haven't worked. You need to investigate this further, as it doesn't add up.

Have you had a meeting with the school? If not, give them a call and arrange one. The school policy as you have explained it sounds very harsh, but don't go into the meeting pretending your son has been suspended for being 5 minutes late. You know he has been suspended for failing to attend his detention.
Would a new start at a different school be best? Or do you think you and your son can work with this one?

He needs to leave the house earlier. If he is aiming to get to school just in time then of course he runs the risk of being late. Aim for half an hour before then he will be fine. He needs to show them he doesn't think he's above the rules. If I were you I would make an appointment to go and discuss it. Don't be all defensive though. You need to go in and be prepared to hear it was more than he has told you and work with school to stop it getting this far again.

What exactly is inhuman about it? You do realise schools have up to 2,000 young people in one building and there job is to teach? You cannot teach in a place with no rules. The behaviour is off the scale.

I’m afraid this is what happens when teenagers think they’re some sort of modern day Che Guvera and try to ‘stick it to the man’. Did you think when he repeatedly refused to show up to his punishment the school would just shrug and ok “seems fair. No consequence for you young man you have taught us the error of our ways!”

He’s learnt a valuable life lesson - rule breaking has consequences.

It doesn’t matter whether you, he or I think the rules are unfair - they’re the rules and you have to stick to them. however will he cope when he’s older and say gets caught for speeding because he thinks a limit is unfair? That’s life, suck it up buttercup!

I have an 11yo in year 7 and luckily she’s squeaky clean but some of the punishments they dole out seem harsh at first but frankly in a world full of entitled little gobshites if the school didn’t have these rules it would turn into a total zoo

This is a classic case of “fuck around and find out”. I suggest he writes an apology letter and learns from this.

Yes, imagine having to get places on time! Inhuman 😂. Kids with kids parents like you will never be able to hold down a job! X

TBH OP sounds like a petulant (those aren’t the rules!!” Type teenager no wonder her son think she can do what he wants.

Ive also no time for people who blindly believe their kids tales of woe in school. “The teacher sent 9 kids out!”. Why would you believe this? Think about it - it would be counter productive and chaotic. My DD exaggerates all sorts of shit like “we had 2 minutes to grab our lunch” only on further proving to find out they actually had 20 minutes but spent 18 fucking around outside first.

These parents are raising the Gen z-ers who are coming into the workplace 15 minutes late and crying when it’s mentioned. Then they go home and mummy calls the boss to tick him off.

It seems harsh considering that he has been on the programme to get back into school, and that it was only the 2nd day of the one way system. Who was overseeing the 8 week course, @QuickAzureJoker could you contact them and explain? It would seem unfair to have (I presume) a supported 8 week programme, and then no point of contact or follow up afterwards. Is there anyone who facilitated the programme that he or you could speak to?

I don't know what other people's kids schools are like but mine is spread over several buildings and it really could take 5 min to walk to another class. I've missed parents eve appointments before because they're scheduled with no breaks in different locations in the school that are a few minutes walk from each other. If one apt is even 2 min late (being the teacher - starts the apt late) that throws off the chance of getting to the other(s) in time. Thank God for zoom parents eves now.

But as others have said its not being 5 min late that is the issue it is not complying with the (seemingly harsh) consequences. But I feel there should have been some dialogue or contact between parent and school (was there?) before it got to the point of suspension.

He hasn't been suspended for being late. He's suspended for refusing to attend a detention AND refusing to attend an escalated detention. The behaviour policy at our school is if a student is between 5-7 minutes late, it's a signing in their handbooks and 7+ mins late, it's a detention.

Sometimes students are late to lesson. I know the ones that are taking the piss and ones that are genuine. I have shown leniency to trustworthy students who have a pattern and history of good behaviour and honesty or to students who are polite and respectful. It's his behaviour, choices and reaction to being informed of the reprimand or the fact that the teacher thought he was pissing about hence the lateness or entered the class like a clown when late and continued to mess about.

It's not easy to suspend a student. The school has to do lots of paperwork and has to have a high threshold of justification to warrant the suspension. Things like this are checked by Ofsted. If he's suspended, it's most likely because of all behaviour, choices and actions since the lateness. You also mention in your post that there has been friction with the school before and many latenesses which indicates this is not a one-off and pattern of similar behaviour.

I refused to attend school from 14 when my secondary school started with this kind of nonsense, though to a lesser degree. I taught myself to pass exams. I have a first class honours degree. I hold down a well paid job. I didn't need school and control freak educational professionals to do that. Most young people also don't.

Parents like me are the one's that will raise young people who are able to think for themselves and go far.

And did the other children all do the detention or all now suspended

only thing is maybe if all 10 were in the same class before so all in say in science to maths maybe there isn’t enough time to get there

where as the other kids came from diff classes /parts of school

You're wrong there.
Plus you just look thick.

It's really impressive that you have managed to achieve so much, and I'm sorry you were let down by your schooling. However, I often find this parental attitude unhelpful when I'm teaching teenagers; the fact that it worked for you does not mean that school is pointless and it does not mean that school rules have no value. I agree that changes to the system are needed, we can't have a one size fits all approach, however, you are actually taking the same stance by assuming that your 'one size' is also the best way forwards. Parents and teachers often assume that the thing which worked for them, will work for the children in their care but that isn't the case- children are not little clones of their elders, and both sides of the coin need to accept this, take the chip from their shoulders and move on as a partnership with realistic expectations of each other.

I can't see how this would do your child, or the OP's any good at all. He needs to learn how to cope with perceived unfairness - his Mum just backing him up and moving him doesn't help this at all.

Of course it is, if you wish to be understood.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of the sanction, which are reasonable or unfair, depending on your point of view, a suspension without any end point isn’t acceptable and I would have thought that there would have been some communication and explanation, plus a timescale for returning to school and a reintegration meeting.

That’s what you need to focus on now OP, especially as you mention that this is part of a supported programme. Is this part of a managed move? If you want him in school, you need to communicate with them and agree a plan for him to return. He can’t be suspended indefinitely.