Horrible phone call with school😭

[ArseInTheCoOpWindow]

My dd has bad anxiety and severe stress migraines. She’s struggled in through all her exams with blinding headaches. She was diagnosed 5 days before her first exam and medications are a bit hit and miss. She’s hardworking and diligent.

Last night she started with the worst one ever. Was very upset about her history GCSE today. She was not in a fit state to go. All of her problems have been supported by lots of GP evidence. I sent the last letter in yesterday.

Conersation with school 1/2 an hour ago.

’It’s only an hour, can’t she come in’
’Can’t she take medication’
’Not sure what the exam board will do’
’You’ll need a doctors note’
”Can’t you just encourage her’

Like l was fucking lying!!!
She’s so upset, l was upset by the call. It’s all documented and this is what you get. Gilt tripping when your poor 15 year old is too ill to think clearly ‘Can’t she just come in for the hour?’🤬🤬🤬🤬

For gods sakes, all school are thinking of are their results, but at your daughters expense.
she can resit next year, it not the end of the world, send in by email, your proof, along with email stating how unsupported you and daughter feel, and that you feel bullied
I had same with our daughter, she only sat 2 but sat more the following year and just finished A Levals
At the moment in my opinion get her stronger x

I used to get migraines in my teens. There is absolutely no way that I would have been able to take an exam.
Did grow out of them if that's any consolation.
Your daughter has my sympathy; they can be vert debilitating.

They are being unreasonable to ask her to come in given the backstory but not unreasonable to ask for a doctor's note. I once had a student get diagnosed with chrone's about 2 months before gcses and she had a bad flare up the day of an exam and the exam board refused to consider it and she got a U for that exam. And this was someone who also had tests and paperwork and actually ended up sitting loads of exams in hospital. So no, the school absolutely can't make promises.

Call back. Ask to speak to someone on senior management who is responsible for exams and make sure they apply for the special consideration by the exam board when marking her papers -for the migraines and anxiety. I work in a secondary school and we’ve been asked to look out for this and pass it on.
It sounds like the person you spoke went through the usual comments to try and get students in to school. The exam team knows exactly what to do if children miss exams. I wouldn’t be upset about that. GDPR means personal information is only shared on a need to know basis.

I suffered with migraines growing up, let me tell those saying to take her in there’s no chance I’d even sit 10 mins if it if I had a migraine. I would vomit constantly, have to blu tac my curtains to the wall as any light was awful. Clearly never had a migraine if you think someone could sit an exam with a full on migraine. There’s measures in place for this kind of thing. Same as there is for covid

Have you heard of the Curable app? It’s SO worth the cost! Also check out Alan Gordon, Howard Schubiner, Nicole Sachs etc on chronic pain and stress related conditions.

I think you are being unfair. Her teachers have put a considerable amount of effort over several years to get her to this point. There is little they can do to assist if she doesn’t take her exams. It will be you v the exam board. I can totally understand why they were trying everything to get her to take it.

So no, nothing back from school🤷🏼‍♀️

They are absolutely shit. She’s sat 3 exams already with migraines, which we have supporting evidence for. But this one was too much. But no response from school
so don’t know what we are supposed to do.

Have sent another email. And if the exam
board dont allow it, l will appeal until I’m blue in the face and even go to the press🙂

I feel for your daughter, Migraines are terrible and there is no way you can sit an exam when you have a migraine - at times it is impossible to get out of bed. I don't think you are being unreasonable and surely there must be something in place for situations like this. Your daughter health and well-being is much more important. I also think the school are being really unsympathetic. I have a friend whos child had a bad accident and broke a bone just before the exams and was not able to sit them. The school was very good and they will use the predicted grades and evidence to give her the grades. Thanks to Covid schools are now keeping evidence through the year just in case. Sending best wishes to you and your daughter.

You are seriously overreacting. The school is just doing their best to ensure that any child that CAN attend an exam does. Obviously they have no control over what the exam board does about the grade so they want to make sure that if there is any way your daughter can sit the exam that she does. I don't think that there is any guilt-tripping at all - they're doing their job and showing they care!

School should know what the exam board will do as it’s their job to know. If a student who is fully prepared for a component misses the exam for ‘acceptable reasons’ then they will calculate a grade based on the component/s she did complete. I had a student miss Paper 2 for GCSE English Language once because she was giving birth (definitely an ‘acceptable reason’) and she got Grade 9 based on her Paper 1 performance. JCQ guidelines are here: www.jcq.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/A-guide-to-the-special-consideration-process-202122-–-General-and-Vocational-qualifications-Updated-8-April-2022.pdf

I haven't read through all the responses but the few I have seem completely lacking in understanding of your daughter's or your situation. In fact the responses I've read must be quite upsetting for you when you're dealing with a very unwell girl. I sympathise because my 16 year old granddaughter who was predicted to do brilliantly in her GCSEs has been very unwell with stress post lockdown, has had to drop out of mainstream education and not sitting GCSEs this year. Your daughter's health is important and arrangements can surely be made for her to repeat the year or whatever when her health improves.

School should know what the exam board will do as it’s their job to know
Yes, of course schools know the procedure. But they can't guarantee that special consideration will be applied (likely will be though in this case) and certainly can't comment on what her outcome will be as a result! Schools have no control over this- it's just paperwork that is sent in.

The school was very good and they will use the predicted grades and evidence to give her the grades.

Erm.... what? Schools do not have the option to give her a grade in this way!! Wbere did you get this idea from?!

Your daughter's health is important and arrangements can surely be made for her to repeat the year or whatever when her health improves.

Yes of course... but that didn't seem to be what the thread is about? The OP seems angry at the school for checking that her daughter is definitely too unwell to come in! Obviously, as she is clearly too unwell to attend, a sensible option is to retake the exam - which I an sure will be arranged.

If anyone is still wondering why migraines are not taken seriously please do refer to this thread, where it is the excuse of choice for the various malingerers inventing fictional ailments to swing a sick day: www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4572701-whats-a-good-sick-excuse-to-use-for-sickie-day-from-work?reply=118057882

I thought schools couldn't get involved in providing grades. My understanding is that if a child misses an exam then this has to be evidenced to the board and then they 'can' use the other papers sat to give a grade. Is this not the case?

So she won't be going to university? Needs dsome decent grades but nothing spectacular if she is going straight into work. Cruel? Nope. University doesn't allow for exam anxiety. You sit them or fail. And rightly so. Maybe you all need a reality check!

This would be discriminatory though,. And in fact one university has recent hit the headlines about a girl who committed suicide due to the universities refusal to adjust the exam techniques allowing for her anxiety.

And they were deemed to be negligent and she was discriminated against. So l guess they’ll have to move with the times. Workplaces and schools have to accommodate. Why should universities be different?

This. Some of the responses are incredibly ignorant.

@mirw, a really unhelpful post. I have sat on many Mitigating Circumstances panels at an excellent U.K. university. Health conditions must be well documented and someone in the DD’s situation would probably need to work with Office for Students with Disabilities for ongoing support.

As a fellow migraine sufferer I posted above that if the DD wants to attend uni she needs to start now to be proactive about managing her migraines. But if she does her best, there should be plenty of help available to her at uni. Same as for all other physical and mental health conditions: Students need to manage their health responsibly and the uni will accommodate them just as a workplace is obliged to.

Simply put, most people do not understand how extreme this condition can be.
I have a 17yr old who spent 2 yrs mostly bed bound with chronic intractable migraine with cyclical vomiting . Our journey ,GP and 3 Hospitals 2 with specialist pain clinic . Still under GOSH soon to transfare to adult specialist neuro team localy ,I wont bore you with every drug ,cbt, therapy ,physio , homeopathic , herbal, physio ,chiro, acupuncture treatment weve tried or the endless exclusion diets and tests he has endured.He now takes Apaptine and has ocipitol nerve injection into the nerves in the back of his neck every 6 mths at GOSH
For the first time in 3 years he was able to function.
He was able to partialy return to school with fantastic support from them to sit the GCSE assment process they put in place during covid . Neuro team provided school specific letters out lineing special measures required to support his condition.
I spoke to the college pastoral team in advance in case he failed the GCSE . They accepted all evidence in advance an assured me he would be considered to have exceptional circumstances.
He passed and is doing 3 A levels with all his specialist requirements in place even for mocks.
He now has a part time job and a better social life than me !

Through out all of this the school still had to do there job , I got attendance letters ,calls meetings etc everything . I gave them what they needed worked with them and we all got where we needed to be..
Focus on your daughter and exploring her treatment everything else will resolve its self. Good luck

I really feel for your daughter. People don't seem to understand they're not like a normal headache they are debilitating when they happen and draining even after the migraine attack has passed. All this extra stress won't help either.

When I did my GCSEs I also got a severe migraine just before one of the exams and suffer with them anyway so my mum told the school and they said that they could pass a doctor's note on to the exam board and that I could receive about 5% extra marks or something like that. They also said that if I had another one then I could be given extra time and taken to do the exam in another room with dimmer lights if I wanted.

You're talking (typing) nonsense. A lot of A levels have an element of coursework and universities have a great deal of non-exam assessment as well, depending on the course.

And anyway, if you are too ill to sit the exam, it's tough. It happens. Exam boards have procedures to deal with it.