Horrible phone call with school😭

[ArseInTheCoOpWindow]

My dd has bad anxiety and severe stress migraines. She’s struggled in through all her exams with blinding headaches. She was diagnosed 5 days before her first exam and medications are a bit hit and miss. She’s hardworking and diligent.

Last night she started with the worst one ever. Was very upset about her history GCSE today. She was not in a fit state to go. All of her problems have been supported by lots of GP evidence. I sent the last letter in yesterday.

Conersation with school 1/2 an hour ago.

’It’s only an hour, can’t she come in’
’Can’t she take medication’
’Not sure what the exam board will do’
’You’ll need a doctors note’
”Can’t you just encourage her’

Like l was fucking lying!!!
She’s so upset, l was upset by the call. It’s all documented and this is what you get. Gilt tripping when your poor 15 year old is too ill to think clearly ‘Can’t she just come in for the hour?’🤬🤬🤬🤬

Not sure why that post was deleted, it was self-evidently rubbish.

I thought schools couldn't get involved in providing grades. My understanding is that if a child misses an exam then this has to be evidenced to the board and then they 'can' use the other papers sat to give a grade. Is this not the case?

Yes you're correct. I have no what the other poster is talking about.

So much ignorance on this thread. Sorry the school aren’t being more helpful.

I suffered migraines as a teen and it totally messed up my A levels exams and scuppered my entry into medical school. Sadly there weren’t as many treatment options back then.

It sounds like you are doing a cracking job advocating for her. Hopefully you’ll find a medication that helps her manage her migraines. Ignore unhelpful posters - I’ve still continued to have migraines throughout my life, but I’ve learned to manage them and eventually went to medical school and got a PhD to boot.

People who don't have migraines really don't understand. Mine started aged 14. I was so I'll the first time my mum called the dr out and he checked me for signs of a rash because he thought I had meningitis.

At their worst my symptoms include; visual disturbance whereby I can't actually see to read, nausea, vomiting, aversion to light and noise, delirium, slurred speech, inabilty to find the right word and cripplingly painful headaches.

There is absolutely no way I could do an exam. Your poor daughter, I hope the treatment gets her attacks under control.

I think you need to remove any pressure about a levels and university from your thinking. GCSEs are not the exams that determine your life chances but your DD is unable to cope already. Life is full of stress. It's going to be a rough ride as it is if stress gives her migraine.

I get that you need someone to rail at and so you're getting wound up at school but I think you need to realise they did nothing wrong. Encouraging your Dd to come in was the right thing to do.

Whatever you do please don't say any variant of "she never gets headaches in the holidays" to the exam board. This is not the proof you need.

The problem you have is everyone has mental illness and anxiety now. Everyone is asking for special consideration. Those students just going through their exams with no adjustments are in a minority. The exam board don't know your dd and you don't know how a doctors note is going to be received.

At the end of the day you might get your special consideration but it's not going to equip your dd with the skills she needs for life. It sounds like you're willing to do whatever you can to secure your dd a grade in an exam she didn't take. You have to ask yourself what good is it going to do?

I have crippling anxiety.

Had it diagnosed when i was very young, im on the only meds left for me to be on at the highest dosage allowed.

Before i even start this - i would NEVER harm my kids, or anyone else. That thoughts never even crossed my mind.

However my anxiety triggers ocd like thoughts. Horrible thoughts. Did i lock the gate? If you fall asleep your family will die. Your kid has cancer. You need to touch the gate x amount of times or something bad will happen. Its draining. I can argue it in my head, i know its not true but its getting hard.

I know i need therapy. I dont trust therapsts. Whenever i tell them something its always used against me (SS tried to take my child away because i had anxiety and misquoted a lot of my old therapy sessions) i dont know what to do. I need the help but im too scared to get the help. Therapists trigger major anxiety for me? So would i even be able to truthfully tell them whats on my mind?
I dont want to just relearn breathing patterns and stuff. I know it ALL.

I just needed to vent. I hate these thoughts. I hate GAD. (Generalised anxiety disorder).

I was told with regard to my DS and consideration it would be used- the evidence/ if my son was not to gain what he was expected or was close to a boundary.

I am sorry to hear about your daughter but can I please encourage you to ask your GP to investigate her for POTs - its much more common in teen girls than people realise and is responsible for their headaches and anxiety - basically its because they have low blood pressure and their heart starts to beat very fast to shoot blood up to their brain - the sudden blood flow to the brain causes headaches and the fast heart beat makes them feel anxious. We have just spent two years identifying this is my daughter's problem after painkillers did not help her headaches. She is now on propanolol which has almost completely resolved her headaches and she is about to take salt tablets to increase her blood pressure which should help them further.
www.nhs.uk/conditions/postural-tachycardia-syndrome/

Has she already done over 50% of the exam? If so they can award her grade based on her previous performance. Is she sits it then they can only give up to 5% extra.
you have to have a doctors note though. There is no way round this. And not one that just says she has migraines. One that says she had a migraine for this exam.
when people say they don’t know what the exam board can do, this means that they can reject the evidence if not a doctors note for example. for special consideration, the exam board decide what % extra you get. Could be 1 or 5. 5 is reserved for serious incidents like death of a family member.

Full sympathy, I suffer from migraines; but I am still not sure what part of the school trying for her to sit an exam she’s spent two years preparing for means they think you are lying.

anyway, she can re-take the exam at some point, even if not immediately, the situation is what it is, you WILL work it out; you’re better off starting to look into how to help her not get so many migraines, which are so very disabling.

30 years of then tell me the following: eat a liver healthy diet, little to no alcohol and take milk thistle extract. And use EFT Tapping for the stress, which hugely contributes.

best of luck, but please don’t wait until your teenager becomes an adult and researches and finds out all of the above by herself then has a go at you for not having saved her 30 years of agony - like I did!

My daughter is currently sitting her GCSEs - her school has a contingency day next week for those who have missed an exam due to illness, or in one case they missed the flight back from London after seeing Harry styles 🙄 can you ask about her sitting it at another time?

You're assuming that the GP letter you sent to school yesterday, had been seen by the person you spoke to on the phone this morning. AND, that the person on the phone today was already fully informed of ONE PUPILS recent medical history.

I appreciate your anxieties for DD and how stressful that is, but try to remember, to you she is THE ONE. To admin staff at the school she is one among hundreds in a very busy period. Don't expect them to be up to speed on every pupil's recent medical history. Don't take mistakenly average advice, as a personal attack on your credibility.

Is there any chance she can do the exam at a later date? Would you be open to that?

Things have changed since I did my GCSEs but I sustained an injury on the morning of one of my exams and had to go to A&E therefore missing the exam. I wasn’t given the option of resitting and giving a result based on my predicted grades wasn’t a thing then. It was for double science award, so brought my whole grade down. I don’t know what the point of me telling you this story is really but it wasn’t the end of the world.

I was still accepted onto a science A-Level course, despite my grade not being good enough. What had happened was taken into account. Is this an option for your DD. Does she want to study history at A-Level?

No l don’t think the person l spoke to should have seen the letter. It was sent on Monday morning and the phone call was on Wednesday morning.

But he was the head of year, and he should have known about it.

I thought the contingency day was just about if there was a national incident that caused many pupils to be off. Not for one off individual cases.

She’s on Propanalol anyway for anxiety.

This is not the purpose of the contingency day. It’s for the whole cohort if for some reason an exam needed to be rescheduled. You cannot take a public exam paper after the fact. The candidate who missed the exam could have been briefed on the content by a friend or even illicitly given the paper.

Yes they have done predicted grades, and have sent this to the SQA. And they will use this and other evidence to give her the grades as she was not fit to sit exams.

@Islandgirl68 is this actually true? I've been advised that predicted grades and mocks etc can not in any circumstances be used. (And what/who is the SQA)

Sorry about your DD OP. Migraine and anxiety both horrible and of course not helped with exam tiredness and stress. She’s young to be on medication, the anxiety must be very severe. School in my experience are not great on health stuff, I understand you being frustrated with their response but wouldn’t take it personally that they think you are lying. Head of year is likely a large number of children.
People who use migraine as an excuse (as in a recent thread) don’t help understanding of the condition. .

You are correct, OP. It’s a bit alarming that @Bib1234’s DD’s school haven’t explained this to their students.

Hate to say it but suddenly producing a letter as the exams are ongoing isn't acceptable to the exam board. It's not the school here who are at fault, it's the nature of exam boards.
My DC has SEN/disabilities and despite him only starting year 10 in September, school have already had to send in info so they are aware of his illnesses and to seek permission for use of a laptop, despite him using one all through secondary school.
I think sadly she will be marked ungraded.

Hardly a ‘shame’ - at least these kids get to sit their exam

I promise you that they will not and that someone has got it wrong somewhere. I didn’t say it was a shame. I said it was incorrect!

Hate to say it but suddenly producing a letter as the exams are ongoing isn't acceptable to the exam board. It's not the school here who are at fault, it's the nature of exam boards.
My DC has SEN/disabilities and despite him only starting year 10 in September, school have already had to send in info so they are aware of his illnesses and to seek permission for use of a laptop, despite him using one all through secondary school.
I think sadly she will be marked ungraded

Thats for extra time.

Students are allowed special consideration for illness at exam time. I used to be a teacher. It’s all in the JQC guidance. But it won’t let me paste it on here. It’s freely available though