How do Asians and East Europeans e.g. manages to successfully to get their kids to revise long hours?

[examitis]

I'm not generalising here but, yeah I guess I am, based on speaking with some of my Asian and Russian friends, so am aware of how much their kids study for exams. Right through primary and now in early secondary.

Some started their revision after Christmas, others have been doing 10am-4pm stints over Easter hols preparing for end-of-year exams, on top of playing numerous instruments or sports or chess.

Before anyone says, 'poor kids, what about their social life and friends', the children I know who have a busy study schedule, all seem well adjusted. Maybe some do less sports than other kids but, on the whole, they're lovely.

A few of these kids are super bright thought most are like all the other kids in terms of ability, but they really seem to ace some of the tests (and get music exams) due to their incredible commitment and time spent revising.

Getting my kids to sit down for even an hour is like pulling teeth. One of mine is gifted but lazy!

I'd like to receive some advice on how to instill that drive and tips for how to structure revision and the after-school day. If at all possible.

Thanks.

I’m indonesian. My parents are high earner. My father is surgeon my mother is lawyer. When i was young my mother always said “if i’m not study hard i’m not gonna have a good job and end up with minimum wage job”. My parents always repeated that over and over. Me and my siblings have to study everyday but only for an hour. They never push us too hard. But they always remind us “if we want to have nice lifestyle like now, we have to study and not make poor decision”. They tell me that since i was 5 yo i think. I always remember that. I do believe that. My siblings are both doctors and i’m psychologist.

when i move to england i’m suprised with how parents views school here. I have 6 years old kid. He is in year 1. He is autistic but He able to write and read. He can read as good as an adult now. I’m surprised when one of the mums friend from school thinks the school pushed our kids too much. They need to play more rather than study. lots of my friends here think that education is not that important. I really have to disagree on that. Being educated its not only for having a good job. But it will reflect on your personality.

@mathanxiety - yes of course there are incredible Russian academics and there was always subversion and meeting in secret, even during Soviet times. However, my experience of Russia was being told not to ask too many questions by a professor and being phone tapped despite being a minor foreigner of Eastern European descent with absolutely zero intentions of becoming a spy/negative influence in any shape or form. Even post Soviet era you had to be careful and to pretend otherwise is disingenuous. Imagine if we put MI6 here on every Russian pupil and student, it would be laughable.

My point is you have to question the focus on STEM/Maths in certain cultures and why they place less academic value on social sciences. There is a history to it and it means something.

Abuildingwith - throughout the Soviet period, and especially in the later Stalin years into through the Khrushchev era and somewhat in the Brezhnev years, civil engineering projects on a massive scale were undertaken in the USSR as the country transitioned from an archaic and primarily agricultural economy to an industrial one. Entire cities were built in the 1930s, Magnitogorsk being a prime example but by no means the only one. Infrastructure was built almost from scratch.

The shock of WW2 highlighted the need for a military industrial complex, which absorbed as many maths, chemistry, physics and engineering graduates as the country could throw at it all, on top of the thousands of civil and mechanical engineers slogging away developing rail networks in the cities of Kazakhstan, etc.

There doesn't always have to be a dark explanation when a country turns out engineers and physics grads in huge numbers.

I mentioned earlier that the vast majority of my (Irish) schoolmates' fathers were engineers, and most of them had grown up on farms. A lurch toward STEM accompanies infrastructure development, housing expansion, and a transitioning economy everywhere.

^^This. I'm the child of immigrants and was very much brought up to see education as a privilege and life as a competition where you need to work very hard to get ahead. I've passed quite a lot of that on to my own children who are white British boys . Working hard at school has always been non negotiable - if they don't want to do that then they need to leave and start earning a living.

I also don't see why working hard means you have no social life or friends. Certainly I managed both and so have my children.

For all of those people saying the tiger approach leads to poor mental health - it’s not like the generalised UK approach to parenting and schoolwork is giving us a generation of well adjusted individuals, is it? And at least the tiger approach is more likely to give you a sold job so you can be miserable with a roof over your head!

OMG! Some of the comments!
It has always been a fact the immigrants tend to put a bigger emphasis in their kids education no matter where they’re from.
In my kids primary School they always organise sessions for parents about English and Maths. It is a very multicultural school with 42 different linguistic backgrounds. And the demographics less represented in those sessions are white British parents. In my country of origin kids do homework everyday, so for me working every day comes natural. And no, there’s no culture of fear.

Totally agree with you. Many British parents have very low aspirations as regards their children's education & general extracurriculars in comparison to Asian & Eastern European parents.

This, but there's also a lot of example setting in immigrant families. When you see your parents working really hard to build a life and give you the opportunities they never had and telling you how much harder life is "back home" it makes an impression. I grew up knowing that the world was a tough and competitive place, and as the child of immigrants I would need to fight to claim my place in it.

I am noticeably tougher on my children esp wrt education than my English dh and definitely am not complacent about their "right" to a good life. This does translate in a more conscientious attitude to study than some of their peers, but not to the extent you are seeing in friends children. I guess that's the result of being second generation Brits.

Just finished reading the whole thread. Very interesting & also in my dc's school the Asians & Eastern Europeans are excelling especially in music. The WhatsApps groups are funny, the Asian & Eastern European parents have no problem questioning or emailing the teachers on "delicate" matters! They are great!