Head refuses to reward Year 11’s with a July Prom? Any ideas?

[Mom69]

My DC is in Year 11 and is nearly finished 4 weeks of GCSE exam papers - sometimes with 4 papers/day! The Head has decided not to reward them with with their Prom at the end of July! Parents have offered to organise it, and despite numerous emails the Head has said ‘she has nothing further to say on the matter’. She’s even done a u-turn and will no longer give them a last exam-free day of school together and is escorting them off the premises by 11.45am. I am SO upset for her year group, even last year’s cohort had a final day together! I’m not sure where to turn to escalate it? Any ideas? 😡☹️

No assemblies are allowed in schools. My kids' year 11 have over 250 pupils. In an enclosed room? no chance in hell that the HT would allow that.

More sensibly, our HT is allowing the year group to have an outdoor event, I hope the weather is ok. But TBH, schools have so much shit to deal with at the moment, I can imagine the HT pulling her hair out at parents nagging her about a bloody prom.

Stop emailing the HT, she has enough on her plate.

I think you're making too much of a drama out of this, OP, in the current climate. Why not organise something just for your DC and her group of friends if they would like to do something?

@00100001 no I am not suggesting they will be traumatized for life but just that they deserve a celebration. It doesn't have to be a prom. If some schools can offer this then others should too. Some schools seem to be communicating nothing but a desire to get rid of their year 11s as swiftly as possible.

She can't give you access to the entire years contact details - GDPR.

But it's 2021. All of these kids - if not their parents - will be linked via Facebook, WhatsApp or wherever else that I don't know about because I'm too old. Just arrange something outside of school property and get the kids to get the word out via social media. Parents to sign a disclaimer ref COVID and confirming acknowledgement that the school had nothing to do with the planning.

Then let them have their fun - rules permitting obviously. By July things may have changed again but your kids will appreciate you helping them try to arrange this more than they can express now!

But some schools just can't offer it. Why can't a no just be accepted?

If the school has no additional time to organise it, nor do they have the resources, nor the good will, nor do they want to take the risk, or the administrative burden etc t hen that's fine.
The decision will have been made by the SLT and/or governors, where they have all the facts that are relevant in their situation and have made the decision based in that. Its easy for a parent to unilaterally decide that X must happen, when they are blissfully unaware of the pressures, issues and concerns.

Just because School A and B are doing it, doesn't automatically mean School C should *have to do it.

School A and B might have time, money, resources, a willing staff body and an immaculately behaved year 11. School C might have A a cohort from hell...or staff that are burned out... or nowhere safe to host it... or no money... any reason is a good enough reason.

@ChubbyMsSunshine

She can't give you access to the entire years contact details - GDPR.

But it's 2021. All of these kids - if not their parents - will be linked via Facebook, WhatsApp or wherever else that I don't know about because I'm too old. Just arrange something outside of school property and get the kids to get the word out via social media. Parents to sign a disclaimer ref COVID and confirming acknowledgement that the school had nothing to do with the planning.

Then let them have their fun - rules permitting obviously. By July things may have changed again but your kids will appreciate you helping them try to arrange this more than they can express now!

If you want to organise a "proper" party... how will that work in reality?

Where is that disclaimer coming from? Who's organising that? Who's making sure it's above board and legal, and chasing signatures?

Who's booking and paying for the space? Who's arranging payments? Who's supervising/chaperoning the event? Who's organising catering? Who's organising the music? Even if it's a "Prom Party Company" ding the lions share, some set of parents will have to stump up the money for the deposit... the information needs to be sent out etc

Why do people get so get up about the Americanisation of it? Call it a leavers disco and no one gets annoyed. It's a rose by any other name

Of course there are some who go over the top but there are also many more who just want to celebrate leaving school and starting the next chapter. For this particular era of leavers as well, for it to end in this weird COVID way, who can blame them if they want to get a posh dress?!

[quote Foosterin]@00100001 no I am not suggesting they will be traumatized for life but just that they deserve a celebration. It doesn't have to be a prom. If some schools can offer this then others should too. Some schools seem to be communicating nothing but a desire to get rid of their year 11s as swiftly as possible.[/quote]
Well, why not just ask them for a leaver's assembly then?

Easy enough to do. requires no consent, little planning. The kids can write their own speeches - can even make up prizes if they want - they can make it slightly more formal - have it during school hours etc

If they want something so badly they can organise it, cna't they?

Our year group organised a trip to Alton towers - obviously with the help of the staff, but it was made clear that if we wanted it to happen, we had to book coaches, organise tickets, write emails/;letters (sent by the teachers) - recruit supervising teachers etc. We did it, but I can't imagine the staff did absolutely nothing behind the scenes.

@ChubbyMsSunshine

Why do people get so get up about the Americanisation of it? Call it a leavers disco and no one gets annoyed. It's a rose by any other name

Of course there are some who go over the top but there are also many more who just want to celebrate leaving school and starting the next chapter. For this particular era of leavers as well, for it to end in this weird COVID way, who can blame them if they want to get a posh dress?!

they're welcome to have a leaving do... just organise it themselves.

@Tangledtresses - do let us know if it actually goes ahead, if the 75% RSVP actually stump up the cash etc

@00100001 - the parents who are so desperately sad for their kids??

If they care enough about it that they want to escalate a complaint to the school then they can sort it themselves...

@00100001 Weird that you've quoted me twice with 2 contradictory comments. It's pretty clear I've also said they (kids and parents) should just sort it themselves. It's not rocket science.

Got some mail yesterday and so far 50% have paid a deposit so well over 100 people
They only needed 100 to secure the venue

I think an event organised by kids or groups of parents is more likely to be cliquey and/or inaccessible to all the kids. All schools should have the capacity to organise something, aided by kids and parents as needed. I don't really understand the strength of feeling that says kids don't deserve or shouldn't expect an event.

Nobody is saying that the kids don't deserve an event. We are merely saying that it's the HT's prerogative to decide that they aren't going to organise one.

The kids don't have the "right" to a prom. It is a nice-to-have extra, and not the school's main priority.

Schools might decide not to hold proms this year for a whole variety of reasons - lack of capacity to organise, insufficient number of staff volunteering to attend, health and safety concerns, knowledge that many parents will struggle to afford a prom, concerns that it might be cancelled at a late stage after money has been spent and kids have got excited etc. That is a decision for the school to take.

If parents don't like the school's decision, then they can organise something themselves. I really don't see why this is such a big issue.

@paralysedbyinertia
events organised by kids or parents do not have the same accessibility as those organised by the school. A HT does not need to hold a prom, in fact I have mixed feelings about big, expensive proms myself. But this idea that they owe nothing to year 11s beyond marking their exams, I find that very disappointing. All schools should be holding a leavers' event of some sort.

[quote Foosterin]@paralysedbyinertia
events organised by kids or parents do not have the same accessibility as those organised by the school. A HT does not need to hold a prom, in fact I have mixed feelings about big, expensive proms myself. But this idea that they owe nothing to year 11s beyond marking their exams, I find that very disappointing. All schools should be holding a leavers' event of some sort.[/quote]
But why should they hold an event of some sort? Why can't they just have their last day and that be the end of it?

@Tangledtresses

Got some mail yesterday and so far 50% have paid a deposit so well over 100 people They only needed 100 to secure the venue

Good good 👌

I am bowing out gracefully! To anyone with DC in year 11, I hope they really enjoy whatever well-deserved celebrations are offered to them to mark the end of their GCSEs.

My daughter's school had a vote among the current Year 11 students. The result (somewhat surprisingly, given it was the kids voting) was 60:40 against, so she and her friends are organising something themselves.

Just caught up...
They didn’t have a prom last year but they had a risk assessment in place- the same one the tweak every single year for a prom in the very same venue.

I have done the hoodies and yearbook myself for other DC (several times!) and it really isn’t that difficult. It’s data inputting.
Missed deadline? Tough. Changed your mind about colours? Tough. A deadline is a deadline.

Not secondary residentials, but primary ones, yes. About 5 of them. I really don’t find this kind of thing difficult.

Our venue doesn’t want teacher chaperones. They never do. Sometimes teachers have bought tickets and come dressed up for photos etc but then they leave. Once again, it is that same one the school have used for many years. The venue has a security team which is included in the price of the tickets.

And as I have said, us parents are more than willing to do any of the very minuscule stuff the venue isn’t doing itself eg set up the flower wall... hardly taxing.

Yes it was horrid for last years y11 to miss out, but that doesn’t make it ok for this years to miss it too, especially after they have lived in a state of anxiety and uncertainty over their exams for the last 15 months v 15 wks.

It’s all irrelevant. The decision to run or not run an optional school event lies with the Head. The Head said no.

Now your options are to suck it up or organise your own independent event without school involvement. Moaning about it won’t change the Heads decision or your options.

Anyone else had their child's year 11 prom cancelled because of extension in restrictions to July 19th?

libby Yes, we had an email yesterday. It wasn't unexpected but I'm really sad for my DD who has had a terrible year and the thought of prom was the one thing she has been looking forward to.

@libbytrois my DC year 11 prom has just received confirmation of still taking place next weekend.