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Secondary education

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Original poster

Head refuses to reward Year 11’s with a July Prom? Any ideas?

211 replies

Mom69 · 16/05/2021 18:30

My DC is in Year 11 and is nearly finished 4 weeks of GCSE exam papers - sometimes with 4 papers/day! The Head has decided not to reward them with with their Prom at the end of July! Parents have offered to organise it, and despite numerous emails the Head has said ‘she has nothing further to say on the matter’. She’s even done a u-turn and will no longer give them a last exam-free day of school together and is escorting them off the premises by 11.45am. I am SO upset for her year group, even last year’s cohort had a final day together! I’m not sure where to turn to escalate it? Any ideas? 😡☹️

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 17/05/2021 23:16

Have you not got a parents page on Facebook for the school year group run by parents?

It's a secondary school. Parents don't get involved the way they do at primary school.

HercwasanEnemyofEducation · 17/05/2021 23:17

Fancy, go ahead and book it then if it's so easy.

You hav have no idea what secondary school is like right now.

MadMadMadamMim · 17/05/2021 23:19

Jesus there are some entitled twats on this thread.

My DD graduated (early) as a nurse in March last year, went straight onto Covid wards. After three years work - unpaid - and a lot of student debt to pay for the tuition. She never got a graduation ceremony. They still haven't had one, and I don't suppose they ever will.

I've also got a Y11 DC and they are not having a prom. They aren't demanding that teachers do something about it.

reallyreallyborednow · 17/05/2021 23:36

It's a secondary school. Parents don't get involved the way they do at primary school

Not hard to set up though? Set up group, call it Grange Hill Prom, then post links on all local facebook pages, maybe put a few posters up as school/in Tesco to spread the word.

Pieceofpurplesky · 17/05/2021 23:53

My head made the sensible decision to not have a prom and this was communicated to staff and parents. It's really sad (I am the prom organiser and it's bloody hard work by the way).

The reasons were costs - lots of people would struggle to pay and if it was cancelled last minute would stand to lose a lot of money. The majority of parents agreed.
I must say though Fancy what a weird school your DC goes to / our staff love attending the prom and seeing the kids.
Hopefully next year I get to organise another - although this year would have been a nightmare as an English teacher with 2 year 11 classes to get through 'exams'

Nat6999 · 18/05/2021 00:27

Couldn't you get numbers of how many are interested through social media & then set up a WhatsApp group to do the organising & sell tickets?

Blacktothepink · 18/05/2021 00:30

Sounds sensible to me

DustCentral · 18/05/2021 06:34

@FancySomeChips

Risk assessment from last year? There were no proms last year so we don’t have one and several children are now different anyway and bring new risks/needs.

Just pay on ParentPay - just our leavers hoodies alone caused us hours of work, queries from parents, last minute changes, I missed the deadline please help - prom would be way worse and always was!

No extra workload / teachers don’t attend - NOT TRUE!!! Teachers in our school always volunteer to chaperone as otherwise parents accuse us of abandoning the kids and any drunken incident is blamed on us. Organising wise, those teachers who volunteer get involved in all aspects including weeks worth of fielding questions from kids and parents, special requests etc.

Kids won’t get over it - yes they bloody well will! They are fantastically resilient kids when given the chance and many are much more sensible than the parents I talk to every day. We never had prom, just went out and had fun with friends. Many children in my school are so poor that prom is unthinkable to them because of the social embarrassment at not being able to afford it.

So the argument definitely stands and perhaps we could all argue that those schools doing proms are the ones who should take a look at their behaviour. Certainly the entitled parents demanding parties should.

FrippEnos · 18/05/2021 06:51

FancySomeChips
Parentpay tickets purchased by a certain cut off date and then after that, no tickets available. It really isn’t complicated. I’ve coordinated many many residentials with no issue at all sorting the money in this way.

Possibly because it has been someone else dealing with the calls saying that its only X days after the cut off.

00100001 · 18/05/2021 07:30

@FancySomeChips you organised residentials in a secondary school single handedly? No help from anyone?

You set up the parent pay, had NO queries, no late payments, no pupil premium kids to sort...just tweaked old RAs, organised all paper work, transport, staffing,... everyone did everything on time, you never had to answer any questions or concerns? You didn't have to organisee emergency contacts at school? Write/email parents about the trip and any updates or further details? No need to write an itinerary? Didn't have to s
Confused

Every SINGLE trip (and essentially a prom is a trip) generates work...lots of it. How can you say a Y12 prom generates no additional workload, when it clearly does. Even you say it does...who is booking the venue? Who is "just setting up PP"? Who is "just" tweaking the RAs? Confused

Foosterin · 18/05/2021 07:53

Every year 11 kid deserves a send off. If there's a cautious head, so why not an outdoor event? It would be better than nothing. And yes we all know teachers of year 11 and 13 have loads to do but some on here almost sound like they're blaming the kids for that. In every school there must be some staff who could take on some responsibility for organising something.

00100001 · 18/05/2021 08:04

@Foosterin

Every year 11 kid deserves a send off. If there's a cautious head, so why not an outdoor event? It would be better than nothing. And yes we all know teachers of year 11 and 13 have loads to do but some on here almost sound like they're blaming the kids for that. In every school there must be some staff who could take on some responsibility for organising something.
Because there's NO OBLIGATION for them to do it.

If the HT has said no, then that's it....who is going to go ahead and organise it within the school? Who is going to sign it off and allow it to run?

I don't think you realise what is involved with organising an event like this in a school? It isn't as simple as @FancySomeChips seems to be making it out. It isn't just a case of "get an external company to do it and get parent pay set up".

Even in her imaginary scenario, there's still information to send to parents, permission forms to send out, liaison with the external company, chasing chasing and more chasing, risk assessments to complete etc.

paralysedbyinertia · 18/05/2021 08:12

It sounds like @FancySomeChips had someone else to do the donkey work. Either that, or she did a really shit job.

Anyone who has ever organised an event like this knows that there is a lot of work involved. If everything was delegated to a private company, the price would be extortionate, and lots of the kids would be unable to attend, so that would count as a shit job too in my book.

Foosterin · 18/05/2021 08:29

@00100001 I've never organised a prom but
I do understand the workload involved in planning trips, events, residentials. I teach in FE and have done it many times. It's a pain in the arse but you do it for your students. No-one would suggest the head or the year 11 teachers should do the heavy work on this, they have enough to do. But someone in school should be able to organise something. I think to send your year 11s away with no celebration of their contribution to your school over 5 years is doing them a disservice.

00100001 · 18/05/2021 08:33

@Foosterin

but who should do it then?

The year 10 teachers? The Year 7? The admin team?

Bouledeneige · 18/05/2021 08:40

No one had any proms last year. My year 13 just went down the park on his last day of school in March.

But if you badly want one and it's within Covid rules organise it yourselves. Otherwise the kids can all go down the park on their last day.

reallyreallyborednow · 18/05/2021 08:41

I think to send your year 11s away with no celebration of their contribution to your school over 5 years is doing them a disservice

Proms are a relatively new thing though. We certainly never had a prom, or any kind of celebration bar our last day before going on exam leave.

It isn’t disservice, and they’ll get over it. As pp have said, there will be many kids who can’t afford all the prom dresses, and those who aren’t comfortable with all the spray tans/nails/hair etc. Proms imo are just a fancy party for the richer cohort.

Foosterin · 18/05/2021 08:42

[quote 00100001]@Foosterin

but who should do it then?

The year 10 teachers? The Year 7? The admin team?[/quote]
I don't know it would depend on the school but I would imagine you could get a small team together to organise something - year 11 PE teachers? pastoral staff? I just think all year 11s should be offered something to mark the end of their school experience. Last year it was impossible, this year there are options.

Foosterin · 18/05/2021 08:45

@reallyreallyborednow I'm not saying it has to be a prom, but there should be some event or celebration to mark the end of their time at school. They deserve this. People have been saying 'they'll get over it' to this age group for too long. No social life for 12 months? They'll get over it. No proper exams? They'll get over it. No work experience? No extra-curricular? They'll get over it. At some point, we need to change the record.

DustCentral · 18/05/2021 09:08

@Foosterin pastoral staff!!!

Our pastoral team are on their knees helping all the kids with a mental health epidemic like we’ve never seen before. Pastoral don’t have time to pee let alone organise a party. Unbelievable.

00100001 · 18/05/2021 09:15

@Foosterin

Maybe they could find some teachers/staff willing to take on the burden...

But they won't do it if the head has said no. It's all a bit of a moot point, if the head won't sanction it.
Imagine if your CEO or whatever,had said "no Christmas party" would your managers just organise one anyway on company time, using company resources, at a company location??

00100001 · 18/05/2021 09:19

[quote Foosterin]@reallyreallyborednow I'm not saying it has to be a prom, but there should be some event or celebration to mark the end of their time at school. They deserve this. People have been saying 'they'll get over it' to this age group for too long. No social life for 12 months? They'll get over it. No proper exams? They'll get over it. No work experience? No extra-curricular? They'll get over it. At some point, we need to change the record.[/quote]
They haven't had. O social life for 12 months though... they have been able to meet friends, and meet up in groups for most of that time. Clubs and activities were open. Restaurants were open for some time. The outside has always been there...

They will get over it. Do you really expect this cohort of 15-18 yos will be traumatised for LIFE because of this? Do you genuinely think that there won't be accomdations made for them entering their next stage of education?

Honestly. They've been through the same as everyone else. They have had their hardships, yes... but so have everybody else. What about the 7 yo who didn't get to have parties for 2 years? Etc

UserEleventyNine · 18/05/2021 09:37

The Y11s can organise a picnic in the park. The Y13s can go down the pub.

I should think quite a lot of parents will be relieved they don't have to spend the money on a prom. And perhaps the HT knows that quite a lot of parents are short of money and doesn't want them to have anything else to worry about.

MrsMackesy · 18/05/2021 09:42

Our Yr 11s didn't have a prom or last day together last year, of course. There was the suggestion something would be done for them at a later date but that didn't happen. Something about a virus, apparently...

UserAtRandom · 18/05/2021 09:44

[quote Foosterin]@reallyreallyborednow I'm not saying it has to be a prom, but there should be some event or celebration to mark the end of their time at school. They deserve this. People have been saying 'they'll get over it' to this age group for too long. No social life for 12 months? They'll get over it. No proper exams? They'll get over it. No work experience? No extra-curricular? They'll get over it. At some point, we need to change the record.[/quote]
Surely the school will organise a leavers' assembly and then all the students will just make their own plans for the afternoon of their last (half) day?
Many will prefer that to a prom anyway.