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Secondary education

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Original poster

Head refuses to reward Year 11’s with a July Prom? Any ideas?

211 replies

Mom69 · 16/05/2021 18:30

My DC is in Year 11 and is nearly finished 4 weeks of GCSE exam papers - sometimes with 4 papers/day! The Head has decided not to reward them with with their Prom at the end of July! Parents have offered to organise it, and despite numerous emails the Head has said ‘she has nothing further to say on the matter’. She’s even done a u-turn and will no longer give them a last exam-free day of school together and is escorting them off the premises by 11.45am. I am SO upset for her year group, even last year’s cohort had a final day together! I’m not sure where to turn to escalate it? Any ideas? 😡☹️

OP posts:
HercwasanEnemyofEducation · 16/05/2021 21:13

No need to shout. I do blame the government, but there is a vast difference between how our school has handled things and how neighboring schools have handled things.

This is the governments fault though. Shit guidance, wooly measures and half baked plans. Your school did what they thought was best given the information they had available. Other humans made different decisions. That's OK.

Twizbe · 16/05/2021 21:15

I just be super old. Our 'last day' was the last day before study leave. We didn't have an extra day of school at the end of it.

If we wanted to celebrate the end of exams we did it in our friend groups.

I think there might have been a prom, but I didn't go.

If the head doesn't want to do it that's her decision.

Tinty · 16/05/2021 21:16

^Avoid looking at what the Norwegians do.^

What do the Norwegians do? I want to know now.

Orchidflower1 · 16/05/2021 21:21

I bet the head is glad you’re no longer a parent at her school!

Tangledtresses · 16/05/2021 21:21

Two mums at school have organised our year 11 prom! Or are trying to!

ILoveFlumps · 16/05/2021 21:22

Sorry OP but I think YABU. My twins were year 11 last year and didn't get a prom. Because of the pandemic. And rightly so.
There's a whole list of reasons why a prom isn't a great idea right now. We're in a pandemic, it's very expensive and parents probably do not have the funds for all the things that go with a prom right now. Imagine some children not being able to afford to go, that would be awful for them.
It's not just about your child.

Todaytomorrowyesterday · 16/05/2021 21:24

Ours are having a outside prom - BBQ food. Using a marquee if the British weather doesn’t play nicely!!

The girls are still getting dressed up boys are just going for shirt and trousers (not full suits)

They really looking forward to it.

Tangledtresses · 16/05/2021 21:25

Update:,just got an e mail 75% have rsvp 😀
It's being held at the end of June same place as last prom...

I'd say go for it....

Frazzledfranny · 16/05/2021 21:33

4000 people attended the Brit Awards the other night. No masks or social distancing.

EwwSprouts · 16/05/2021 21:33

It's hard to believe you want to pester the head after the year that teachers have been through. A prom might be fun but the yr11s can celebrate in smaller groups. DS was yr11 last year and no-one is lamenting the lack of a prom or even last day together. Life moves on quickly as a teen.

ItsDinah · 16/05/2021 21:35

Tinty - lots of alcohol and activities conducted in a state of undress that do not meet with parental approval.

24GinDrinkingOnceTheKidsInBed · 16/05/2021 21:40

Throw her a sweet 16 instead. Black tie event? They can get dressed up like they would for prom.

It’s really not that big of a deal.. and I’m young, my prom was only 9 years ago. I didn’t go. I had money given to me for what would have been spent on a dress, transport ect instead. I don’t regret not going either.

HalzTangz · 16/05/2021 21:44

@Mom69

Really? When vaccination remains a choice there will never be a scenario when everyone is vaccinated? All the other schools are having a Prom and are able to do it post July when all restrictions are lifted? Sporting venues and festivals are going ahead. So, a year group that has been in the same bubble, performing regular LFT tests in a school with no cases, surely if she wanted to find a way, she could?! What’s wrong with organising it on the understanding that everyone does a test as a pre-requisite to attending?
Except Boris has announced that all restrictions might not be listed on June 21st as first planned.

Sorry but kids life's won't be ruined 8f they don't have an Americanised prom

HalzTangz · 16/05/2021 21:45

@Mom69

You know that all restrictions will be lifted throughout the country on July 21st yeah?!
No they won't, Boris said as much on Friday
reallyreallyborednow · 16/05/2021 22:04

4000 people attended the Brit Awards the other night. No masks or social distancing

One event.

Roughly 200 kids per yr 11 per high school? 3500 state secondaries, so not including private, academies etc. So 700,000 state school kids alone all getting up close and personal, then going home to families.

Bit different to 4000.

paralysedbyinertia · 16/05/2021 22:16

Our school are planning one, and I'm really happy for dd, but totally understand why some schools have decided to avoid them this year. I am half expecting ours to be cancelled due to covid, and can just imagine the grief that headteachers will get if parents have spent loads of money on non-returnable prom dresses etc.

I think you should respect the school's decision. If covid restrictions permit, there won't be anything to stop the kids from getting dressed up and having their own celebration when the time comes.

Teachers have had a hard time this year, dealing with all of the remote learning, changes to assessment etc. I can't get upset about them choosing not to prioritise a party. Yes, it's a shame for the kids, but it really isn't the end of the world.

UserAtRandom · 16/05/2021 22:22

If they are in school until 11.45am surely there'll be some sort of leaving assembly ... and this leaves the rest of the day free for them all to get drunk hang out in the park with food and drink. Surely they will end up doing that whatever is officially planned, and it will be a memorable end to Year 11?

TrashPanda · 16/05/2021 22:46

My eldest was in Year 6 last year so didn't get any of the normal end of year stuff. Trying to arrange a present for the teacher. The school couldn't give out other parent details but did agree to send an email to all the parents giving contact details for the parent trying to organise the present. Would the school do that?

Livingintheclouds · 16/05/2021 22:55

For all you saying 'there's a pandemic'. Yes, and I imagine the y11 are in a bubble at school and gatherings will be allowed for weddings and funerals with people who may have no other contact with each other so a prom seems far more low risk than any of those activities.
Is there a board of governors at your school? I'd complain to them.
But orgsnise it as much as you can- even of it means getting notes out to all the students at school this week. It just takes one parent to take control and get others involved in organising it.
Our school is having a prom. They decorate the dining hall with thousands of fairy lights and the kids have a lovely meal. Usually some sort of casino like activity too. Normally there would be an after party at some gullible parents house but not this year.

RogueMNerKnowsNoShame · 16/05/2021 23:44

@Floralnomad

You want it then you organise it , if it’s that important to your child they can spend the next few days getting everybody’s email address etc . This year has been absolute shite for teachers and I can see why they don’t want to be involved .
Exactly what I was going to say
RogueMNerKnowsNoShame · 16/05/2021 23:51

@Livingintheclouds

For all you saying 'there's a pandemic'. Yes, and I imagine the y11 are in a bubble at school and gatherings will be allowed for weddings and funerals with people who may have no other contact with each other so a prom seems far more low risk than any of those activities. Is there a board of governors at your school? I'd complain to them. But orgsnise it as much as you can- even of it means getting notes out to all the students at school this week. It just takes one parent to take control and get others involved in organising it. Our school is having a prom. They decorate the dining hall with thousands of fairy lights and the kids have a lovely meal. Usually some sort of casino like activity too. Normally there would be an after party at some gullible parents house but not this year.
Any decent board of governors would be well aware of the utterly hellish year head teachers have had and say ‘don’t blame you, you’ve got out full support,

If op wants to arrange something, print out 300 slips with explanation of what hoping to arrange and contact details and the child hands them out.

HasaDigaEebowai · 16/05/2021 23:56

Our year 11s are having a prom. They’re also having exams in the exam hall.

ChloeDecker · 17/05/2021 06:11

@Frazzledfranny

4000 people attended the Brit Awards the other night. No masks or social distancing.
All those in the audience were from the NHS, so all fully vaccinated and Jack Whitehall said they all had negative tests right before the event.

Bit different to unvaccinated 11 year olds and most of which probably stopped LFT testing ages ago.

In all honesty OP, your child’s teachers’ are currently drowning in marking, moderation, admin and writing statements, just for your Year 11s (and 13s if your school has them) not to mention still trying to teach everyone else and plan and mark for those years. The Head may well not be having a spare minute to themselves.

If you are so desperate for a prom, for that many Year 11s, check your DD’s school email account and you will find she will have an email address in there (from a whole year email sent to her) that sends emails to the whole of Year 11.

Use that to send an email address to send all the pupils a message giving your contact details if they wish to take part and go from there.

Icytundra · 17/05/2021 06:49

So many problems with this. Many already mentioned but to add

  • you can guarantee that if it gets cancelled/ something goes wrong, parents and the wider community will contact the school expecting them to sort it. In this year of shite it really isn't worth it.
  • in the schools I've worked in around England, it's common for year 11's last day to be a half day. They get a bit .... Rowdy....
FrippEnos · 17/05/2021 07:09

This is definately one of the more entitled posts of MN.