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Secondary education

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Original poster

Head refuses to reward Year 11’s with a July Prom? Any ideas?

211 replies

Mom69 · 16/05/2021 18:30

My DC is in Year 11 and is nearly finished 4 weeks of GCSE exam papers - sometimes with 4 papers/day! The Head has decided not to reward them with with their Prom at the end of July! Parents have offered to organise it, and despite numerous emails the Head has said ‘she has nothing further to say on the matter’. She’s even done a u-turn and will no longer give them a last exam-free day of school together and is escorting them off the premises by 11.45am. I am SO upset for her year group, even last year’s cohort had a final day together! I’m not sure where to turn to escalate it? Any ideas? 😡☹️

OP posts:
UserAtRandom · 16/05/2021 19:23

@Mom69

You know that all restrictions will be lifted throughout the country on July 21st yeah?!
Literally nobody knows this. Even assuming you meant "June".
malikaqi · 16/05/2021 19:23

Don't be naive. There is absolutely no guarantee all restrictions will be lifted
In July: have you not been watching the news? Mixing for work and education I get. A prom? No way

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 16/05/2021 19:23

@Mom69

You know that all restrictions will be lifted throughout the country on July 21st yeah?!
No.

The roadmap plans for restrictions to be lifted after June 21st as long as the data shows that it is safe to do so.

There is no set in stone date for this, there is no set 8n stone definition of exactly what restrictions will be lifted.

KingdomScrolls · 16/05/2021 19:23

We didn't get a leavers' disco because the year above us (notorious for being one of the worst years in memory) were too badly behaved at theirs, logical....
Surely a private event can be organised

coodawoodashooda · 16/05/2021 19:25

Why would the HT want to risk the outcry of being condemned as spreading the virus through a prom she approved. Each to their own bug I'd be delighted to get a free pass.

Clymene · 16/05/2021 19:25

@Mom69

You know that all restrictions will be lifted throughout the country on July 21st yeah?!
I'm thinking you mean June. And that's in no way guaranteed. Right now, a prom is not allowed.
Starlightstarbright1 · 16/05/2021 19:26

When my dsis left school she had a roller disco.. our year- year below were escorted off premises by policeva day early - we were a challenging year.

So the last day i am left wondering if your Dd year is challenging too.

Schools are having a bloody hard time. They aren't even able to move around the school.

My ds is year9 and won't have gone on a high school trip till at least year 10.. Thats life for now i am afraid.

They absolutely couldn't give you contact details

Couldhavebeenme2 · 16/05/2021 19:30

I really am beyong belief that you think the head is being unfair not to hand out contact details for 300 kids and their parents!

I've organised a few proms, they take many months of preparation - not just a case of book the venue - throw in girls with dresses/hair/makeup/car hire etc etc and what sounds like a good night for £30 ends up costing most families a good few hundred quid. Which at such short notice is going to be out of reach for many now.

Throw in Covid, a risk assessment or 10, insurance for you as the organiser (you know, in case of teenagers doing something stupid) and you really will regret trying to pull this together in a few weeks.

Prom isn't the be-all and end all of secondary school. Yes, it's crap they won't get something many of them will have been looking forward to. But they've had a year or more of not getting stuff they should usually be experiencing, and a lifetime to catch up.

FWIW my usual prom venue is currently set up as a vaccine centre - they still have our deposit from last summer when the y11s really got a shitty deal.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 16/05/2021 19:30

Arent most of the students staying on for sixth form?

PenguinIce · 16/05/2021 19:33

@NiceTwin

I would say it was a bonus, they are over priced and over rated.
Completely agree and in my experience it is more for the parents benefit than the kids. Another way for parents to try and outdo each other.
MargosKaftan · 16/05/2021 19:33

FFS - children in a year group bubble can spend time together for education, the exact same group can socialise - covid doesn't know if you are on school lunch or a prom. By July, we should be allowed wedding parties etc. There is no reason for no prom, unless the road map slips and it has to be cancelled/rescheduled. Which if thats an acceptable risk for other large events, why not this one?

And no, if the school won't send out letters to all the parents or share contact details, then even if the parents organise things like halls, dj, catering, it won't be possible to give everyone the opportunity to go. A private end of school event will end up being cliquey.

Its really shitty. Most schools round here are arranging proms / leavers balls for year 11 and year 13s. Can you get an email to the chair of governors saying you are happy to arrange the venue /entertainment etc but would need the school to send out emails / letters to all parents to allow everyone to have a chance to attend, not just the children of parents you know? Make it clear you will arrange a leaving event, the question is do some get left out or does everyone get invited. (They can decide themselves if they feel comfortable attending)

MrsTophamHat · 16/05/2021 19:35

I've had to organise one of these before and it is no small feat. It was more work than my own wedding, especially because they pay for tickets, so understandably expect a certain standard for their money. It was a marquee hire, coach transport to and from, photographer, DJ, informal awards ceremony, hot and cold buffet, table dressing, flowers, selfie booth...

Aside from all the logistics of it all, the behaviour management side is really stressful. Word gets round communities if 16 year olds all from one school are drunk or worse at these things and it can damage the reputation of the school. You have to have staff giving up their night for no extra pay to come and chaperone and make sure they're all OK. You sometimes get some that have got really drunk before and so you're then having to turn them away and getting into disputes with parents who see no issue that their child can barely stand up.

Having said that, our school are doing one (thankfully it's not my role any more!) but I don't envy them having to turn it around so quickly.

DeusEx · 16/05/2021 19:37

It’s July. It’s months off. There’s a pandemic. There is currently a dangerous variant that the Prime Minister had said he’s worried about.

Come on now.

LubaLuca · 16/05/2021 19:37

It's a blessed relief for me that there's none of this nonsense at my Y11's school. The Headteacher hasn't made any announcement, but is presumably relying on the kids and parents to be sensible enough to realise for themselves that if they're not allowed to put the year group in the hall to sit exams, cramming them together in a function room is off the cards.

DeusEx · 16/05/2021 19:37

Also they may all be in a year group together but they’ll bring outside boyfriends and girlfriends for sure. And parents chaperoning. And staff. Massive, massive risk.

Jesusmaryjosephandthecamel · 16/05/2021 19:42

@Mom69

She says she doesn’t want to do it where everyone isn’t vaccinated and a bunch of other excuses!
Sounds cautious but sensible.
skodadoda · 16/05/2021 19:42

If you start now could you get the students themselves communicate through Facebook/WhatsApp or however else they contact one another.
Does the school have a social media page?

MargosKaftan · 16/05/2021 19:43

So you ban outside dates. Not tricky.

If weddings can go ahead with large numbers of guests mixing maskless and clubs can plan to reopen maskless, then this can happen.

They just can't be arsed and are using "but covid" as an excuse. Or got caught on the hop because they didn't think the road map would go ahead as planned and now it feels too late.

(Would be interesting to know if they will be doing year 6 transition days in July- most secondary schools round here have them planned. )

Bettyboopawoop · 16/05/2021 19:45

My son missed out on his prom too last year not a lot you can do really and given the Indian variant I am not surprised, lots of kids have missed out on proms over the last few years not a lot they can do.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 16/05/2021 19:46

Let’s hope these awful naff prom events never return.

capercaillie · 16/05/2021 19:46

You know headteachers have had a hugely stressful year don’t you? And are carefully balancing risk for everyone in the school? Teachers on their knees trying to sort out milestone assessments and sort out all the paperwork to do with that. Sensible head teacher.

donquixotedelamancha · 16/05/2021 19:49

I’m not sure where to turn to escalate it?

Nobody can force the staff to do all the unpaid work involved in organising this. Presumably the head has good reason (I could list hundreds) to say that it isn't viable this year.

If you want a party do it yourself. The only contact details you need are yours so students can buy tickets.

Floralnomad · 16/05/2021 19:50

You want it then you organise it , if it’s that important to your child they can spend the next few days getting everybody’s email address etc . This year has been absolute shite for teachers and I can see why they don’t want to be involved .

kowari · 16/05/2021 19:50

Just organise something fun with a small group of friends.

My prom was a boring waste of money where I spent the evening just feeling horribly self conscious in a dress (I wouldn't have had the courage to be the only girl dressed otherwise). I'd have been glad if it was cancelled.

Whyarewehardofthinking · 16/05/2021 19:51

Well we don't have the money for one this year; we spent nearly everything that would be a 'luxury' on cleaning and laptops.

At the moment we have only 20% of our year 11 in after a flurry of cases, so a prom wouldn't be the best idea right now, seeing as we can't even get them in for some assessments.

We are also missing a chunk of Y13 and Y10 too. I can't imagine any of their parents would be best pleased about us saying that they can't be in school together but are fine to get shitfaced in a room after school (no matter what you do there is alcohol at a prom, and ket last time for us). Let's not add all of that to covid please or I might just snap.