Head refuses to reward Year 11’s with a July Prom? Any ideas?

[Mom69]

My DC is in Year 11 and is nearly finished 4 weeks of GCSE exam papers - sometimes with 4 papers/day! The Head has decided not to reward them with with their Prom at the end of July! Parents have offered to organise it, and despite numerous emails the Head has said ‘she has nothing further to say on the matter’. She’s even done a u-turn and will no longer give them a last exam-free day of school together and is escorting them off the premises by 11.45am. I am SO upset for her year group, even last year’s cohort had a final day together! I’m not sure where to turn to escalate it? Any ideas? 😡☹️

Also OP. Not sure if you’re aware but teachers, support staff and the SLT of the school are currently drowning in red tape and ever changing guidance on how to award your Y11 the correct grades AND have enough evidence to prove it when little Tommy’s mum kicks off. It’s hell in schools right now. Staff exhausted and stressed. And you think staff should throw them a party in a pandemic. Stop being entitled and see the bigger picture. Arrange it yourself if it matters so much.

Maybe parents should be organising a party for all the teachers after they have finished all the assessments they need to do

the school is under no obligation to hold a prom. The staff have absolutely the right not to be involved. Why on earth do you think school staff should be giving up yet more of their own time to facilitate this. Covid or not, this is simply not something any school is obliged to do.

I don't care how well behaved the cohort is, there is always the chance that some will drink or not behave . I stopped attending after school events like this after too many incidents of drunkeness and vandalism to the venue.

If yo want a party so much then you can organise it.

You are being very blinkered. There is a real chance that the variant will become a problem and that things like this kind of indoor event will have to be cancelled. If there has been expense it will no doubt be down to the school to sort. It is reasonable to not do a prom even if it is disappointing.

@Mom69

She says she doesn’t want to do it where everyone isn’t vaccinated and a bunch of other excuses!

To be fair.... She doesn't need "excuses"

It's not a right.

If she doesn't want one...that's the end if it.

She may have valid reasons like... cost... staffing... Covid worries...lack of space... Administrative burden... Year 11s have been trouble...

But at the end if the day, it's not a requirement to provide a leaving celebration in any form...

At 16 surely they can organise something low key themselves! They don’t need mummy to organise a get together with their mates surely!

@singsingbluesilver

the school is under no obligation to hold a prom. The staff have absolutely the right not to be involved. Why on earth do you think school staff should be giving up yet more of their own time to facilitate this. Covid or not, this is simply not something any school is obliged to do.

I don't care how well behaved the cohort is, there is always the chance that some will drink or not behave . I stopped attending after school events like this after too many incidents of drunkeness and vandalism to the venue.

If yo want a party so much then you can organise it.

YY.

I wonder how many parents would actually step up and organise, promote and chaperone the event..

They'll all think it's marvelous idea and OF COURSE they should have a leaving do... But, I can't organise catering,no...sorry, I'm busy, I've got kids....

Oh you need someone to manage the money, collect it in, make sure they've all paid? Oh yeah....no sorry I'm too busy...

Wait you need someone to make sure only those with tickets get in? Oh..I would but I've got kids an sit their bed time...

You need to find money from somewhere to book a space? Oh sure ...bit isn't that included in the ticket cost? I'll pay for the tickets..but someone else will have to pre-pay the hall hire...

You need help setting up and clearing down on. The night?? Oh umm..well I would help, I really would,but the kids... They'll be in bed... And you know...

Teacher here. The Head is perfectly within her rights to say no - imagine the flak she would get if a week later, half the year group, several of the venue's bar staff & a group of chaperoning teachers came down with covid? & then someone died?

Heads have to cover their arses & be risk averse, basically.

You can try to organise a party via word of mouth, but good luck with hiring a venue.

They tend to insist on teacher chaperones. This is because a substantial number of the kids will get completely trolleyed, & teaching staff may have slightly more authority than their mates' mums or the venue staff.

However, no teacher in their right mind is going to agree to attend an unofficial event organised by parents. It would not only be incredibly risky because it will inevitably be even more shambolic than your average prom, given that the parents organising are naive enough to think booking a piss up for 300 teenagers in the middle of a pandemic is a good idea - there'll be flappy pissed parents getting underfoot everywhere & in the way of the vomiting/fighting/blue lights...oh & any teacher who agreed to attend would be undermining the Head. Not generally a good career move - in fact in these circumstances probably a disciplinary.

Honestly, how about a reunion party at Xmas/next summer if things are better then?

My daughter didn't have her Y11 prom last year; very sad but just the way it was. Her school isn't doing a Y11 one this year either. However a Y13 one is going ahead up to press, but obviously will depend on restrictions, so maybe she'll have it next year.
OP, I can see why students would be disappointed, but better to not have one than get all sorted for it then to be cancelled.

This is the digital age - I'm surprised that you couldn't use the power of social media to gather contacts whether it's via the kids or on mediums like Facebook where the parents may be.

OP I have no idea why you are being flamed here. Many schools are planning proms. Why shouldn't yours? Why should some year 11s get an end of year experience and others not? Also, yes teachers are drowning in assessment red tape - this is not the fault of the kids themselves and not an excuse for giving them no end of year celebrations. These kids have had a terrible 12 months and they deserve it.

Lots of schools are indeed planning proms this year, but that isn't the point. The point is that it is the headteacher's decision, and she will no doubt make that decision on the basis of the evidence that is available to her, the school's own risk assessment etc. Ultimately, she is responsible for the school's health and safety measures, and she has to do what she thinks is right...regardless of whether irritated parents or randoms on the internet disagree.

There is no statutory duty on schools to organise a prom. It's the headteacher's decision, and the OP will just have to accept it.

Same is happening at my DCs school- kids are devastated.
They feel completely undervalued and ignored.

All other local schools are having a prom, just not ours.

This year group has been so let down. It’s horrendous.

@Foosterin

OP I have no idea why you are being flamed here. Many schools are planning proms. Why shouldn't yours? Why should some year 11s get an end of year experience and others not? Also, yes teachers are drowning in assessment red tape - this is not the fault of the kids themselves and not an excuse for giving them no end of year celebrations. These kids have had a terrible 12 months and they deserve it.

Why shouldn't theirs?

Because they don't want to nor are they required to. End of story.

Oh for goodness sake. There are university students who have not even had a graduation ceremony. A prom is just a party - if it is so essential then parents could organise it.

Schools have enough on their plates right now without organising a social event. It is a bonus that they do - it goes way beyond what they have to do - but this year has been difficult for everyone, including school staff. They are exhausted.

@FancySomeChips

Same is happening at my DCs school- kids are devastated. They feel completely undervalued and ignored.

All other local schools are having a prom, just not ours.

This year group has been so let down. It’s horrendous.

They'll get over it.

She won’t give us access to the year group contact details and they leave this Friday ☹️

The children are equally upset at not having a final day together.

So why can't the kids compile a list of details themselves? They're not toddlers...

@singsingbluesilver

Oh for goodness sake. There are university students who have not even had a graduation ceremony. A prom is just a party - if it is so essential then parents could organise it.

Schools have enough on their plates right now without organising a social event. It is a bonus that they do - it goes way beyond what they have to do - but this year has been difficult for everyone, including school staff. They are exhausted.

I don't think people realise that teachers workloads have dramatically increased, especially in secondary schools.

They're teaching online still as well as in person trying desperately to get kids up to speed from their "lost learning" whilst providing evidence and setting multiple tests for multiple years groups, so they can justify the grades they have to magically come up with for the same kids who haven't been in the classroom. (One teacher is having to base the grade of an A-Level student who has produced exactly 2 pieces of work all year!) - as well as having to take part in additional meetings, writing additional risk assessments, interventions, increased contact with worried parents etc etc.

They're all dreading results day when the parents will inevitably query every single grade given...

I don't think anyone is refusing to organise a prom because they want to be a party pooper.

It's simply unreasonable this year to expect the Head to endorse it. & I imagine she knows full well the teaching staff don't have the gas left in the tank to chaperone, & aren't up for that level of personal risk this year.

Proms only go ahead because enough staff volunteer - as in give up an evening with no obligation to do so - to chaperone them.

They're generally quite fun but stressful for teachers, but this year: no thanks. Covid soup.

If parents/students think it's a good idea to organise large scale gatherings, it'll have to be done away from the aegis of the school. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Payment is by parentpay and the venue organise everything from security to decorations to waiters to the DJ. Teachers do not needed to attend, they never do.

I’m a teacher myself, no teacher workload will be impacted.

And to those saying the kids will get over it- why should they have to? They are the most impacted year group, they have put up with so much shit from this government, and they just want to be normal 15 and 16 year olds.

It’s a couple of hours to formally send them off, the last time they see their friends altogether as a year group. Not just a bunch of them self organising a hang out- if you can’t see the difference then just bog off.
And it’s hassle free for the school!!!
Parents all willing to organise but school is vetoing.
Yet all other local schools are falling over themselves to put on a shindig.

I’m a teacher myself, no teacher workload will be impacted.

I recognise you from some other threads and aren’t you a primary teacher? I’m so sorry if you are not. It’s just that in my experience of actually organising Year 11 proms in the past, teacher workload is definitely impacted.

It’s never just as easy as ‘pay on parent pay’ as there is always chasing, queries, mistakes etc. Risk assessments have to be produced, even though it’s at a different venue.
Constant communication with the venue who always want numbers up front early and have lots of paperwork to complete with numbers that large.

Yes, teachers do turn up to the proms. I have never had a venue that allowed a prom to go ahead without teachers (including Year 13 proms) for that many students.

There are always a few students who take it too far that evening and therefore, need to be dealt with/supported by staff.

There are always late parents upon collection time and it’s teachers who have to wait around with those students, gone 11pm.

I don’t think even I fully appreciated just how much extra work putting the evidence together for these TAGs was going to heap on secondary teachers, as so much paperwork has to be collected for every child as we have to be prepared for being the subject called to provide it all within 48 hours.
I’ve only just closed my laptop lid tonight.

I genuinely could not organise a Year 11 and 13 prom (and would have to be both, to be fair, obviously) in the next few days. I am sorry if that has ruined an experience for year 11 and 13 but I am trying my absolute best to make sure I have done what they need for their actual qualifications going forward. I would hope that they at least understood that.

Besides, if it was all that easy, parents would already be organising their own provide one, really.

I wish DC school wasn’t having a prom. I could do without the expense and hassle

I genuinely could not organise a Year 11 and 13 prom (and would have to be both, to be fair, obviously) in the next few days. I am sorry if that has ruined an experience for year 11 and 13 but I am trying my absolute best to make sure I have done what they need for their actual qualifications going forward. I would hope that they at least understood that.

The sensible ones will understand. Thank you for all that you're doing, it must be a nightmare this year.

I’ve taught in both primary and secondary. I’m not naive to teacher workloads!

Parentpay tickets purchased by a certain cut off date and then after that, no tickets available. It really isn’t complicated. I’ve coordinated many many residentials with no issue at all sorting the money in this way.

I have spoken to the venue myself, no teachers are needed. At all. None.

Risk assessments from the venue are provided so will need mildly adapting. The school also have previous year’s risk assessments to tweak- same venue. Risk assessments do not take weeks of preparation!

The parents are prepared to do it all, I have already stated this. We were patiently waiting to hear back from the school, told not to get anything in motion, that the school had everything in hand and would be organising as per usual. And now we are told it isn’t happening.
Some of the kids have designed and made their dresses for their textiles coursework.
This is how sure they were on it going ahead.

As for “COVID soup” claims- ummmm pubs? Holidays? Train carriages? The same kids have been mixing all year anyway, what’s the difference.
Waiting and security staff COVID concerns- but if they aren’t working the prom they will be working in similar situations elsewhere? Why not our prom?
The argument has no standing.

@Cocopogoat least yours have a choice to attend or not.