I need to talk really frankly about money and fees for private secondary

[EmbMonStu]

I’d like to apologise at the outset for speaking so gauchely and brashly about money, and for referencing large amounts of money when some people are going through such an awful time. I have literally no one to discuss this with because who can you talk actual amounts with IRL?

Also, I recognise my privilege, we are extremely lucky, my kids will be fine whatever we do and I’m aware this is not a real “problem”.

DH and I both from very working class backgrounds, first in family to Uni etc. I am trying to figure out whether private secondary will be an option for us financially. I’m looking at Hampton School as an example.

DS1 (very very bright and sporty) is in year 4. By the time he enters secondary school we should, in theory and assuming nothing changes have about £85k in the bank and another 25k in “really mustn’t touch it but can break glass if true emergency” money. This will come incrementally from savings rather than a lump sum.

We will be saving around £25k a year from salaries at this point also.

I estimate fees, lunches and transport to a secondary school like Hampton will cost around 25k a year. So essentially, we will be saving nothing.

We will still be able to spend around 12k a year on holidays, have lots of fun money etc, private health insurance etc. We certainly won’t be scrimping, but will be saving very little, perhaps 4-500 a month.

DS2 is four years behind DS1 so would start in 2027. At this point DH should be earning considerably more than he does now and fees will be less of a concern.

If he dies or other disaster strikes we will have to pull the children out and sell house anyway, life insurance not withstanding.

So basically, is this enough? Would you spend all the money you would otherwise save, on fees? Leaving you with a nest egg of this amount? If you could still a nice lifestyle?

Also we live in a semi detached in a fairly nice area, but I wouldn’t want to be a poor relation in the school. We wouldn’t probably be able to move if committed to fees, although very happy in the house currently.

Thanks if you’ve got this far. This is all very alien to me and I feel I need a steer!

Have you approached the school regarding discounts for paying the fees up front?

Of course you have enough money.

Next!

Read your post back.

If you spend what you currently save on fees you will still have:
12K a year on holidays
Fun money
400-500 a month in savings

Does that sound like you'll have enough money?

You won’t be the poor relation. Lots go to hampton from my sons prep and they are from a variety of housing from huge mansions, to semis to 2 bed cottages . No one really cares to be honest and Hampton is quite a down to earth school. To answer the other questions, you’ll find that lots of families are doing just that. Forgoing the ‘nice’ things to send their kids private and I wouldn’t hesitate to make that decision . In fact we are probably in that bracket with all 3 of ours in the private system.

It depends if you feel comfortable saving so little compared to what you did previously.

Do you have secure and stable jobs?

Good for you for thinking it through beforehand. DH and I started with our two in a Prep School when they were very young, and the fees were easily manageable. By the time they got mid way through secondary school, it was a significant sum we were having to find each term. We managed, and am very glad that we did, but we were saying the other day if this pandemic had come along 15 years ago, we'd have been screwed!

As far as fitting in is concerned, there are not many parents who don't have to make sacrifices somewhere along the way, so I really wouldn't worry about that. I do remember someone moving their child from one of the top Public Schools, because they didn't want said child to grow up thinking that everyone has a ski chalet and holiday home in the Caribbean.

I think you may have slightly underestimated the costs. Don't forget fees go up every year, and often increase at different stages of schooling. Certainly 6th form is usually more expensive.

Only you can really judge whether you can afford the cost though.

It sounds like you can afford it, if you think it's worth it. Though, personally I would save a little more and spend a little less on holidays.

I've just gone from a thread where a woman has got out of a relationship with DV, and now can't afford her damp, dangerous flat... to asking if living off a £12K holiday budget plus plenty of fun money plus saving £500 saving each month on top of the 100k already in savings will be enough

Unbelievable

As I read your post op you can pay the fees out of the amount you would usually save each year.

Unless that’s “essential” saving, ie, your pension, then it is a lifestyle choice to either save that money each year or spend it on on school fees.

Providing you have a savings cushion in case things go wrong you can afford it.

@Ohcomeallyechristmas I'm not sure that's fair, op said she knows she's fortunate and is just being sensible weighing things up.

Also op has posted this in the secondary education area which is surely the right place to ask this question.

Sounds doable to me.
I'd personally save more and spend less on holidays.

You don't have to estimate the fees, as they are published, and will almost certainly include lunch but not transport. They also don't include school trips, certain extra curricular activities, uniform and equipment, which can be pricey.

You'll need to take an annual price hike into account, and you should make sure you have left room in your budget for a pension. The most painful period for fees will be when you've got both children there at the same time, but you're sure you'll have more disposable income by then. You can take out fees insurance which will cover your school fees for (from memory) 5 terms if the breadwinner dies. Paperwork for this will probably be in the welcome pack from the school.

Definitely.

I would rather spend private on secondary than private for primary. I do believe paying private in primary is a waste of money but for secondary... definitely!!

We have 2 DC at Secondary (one on a 25% scholarship) and it costs us around £20k per year but we are in Yorkshire so much cheaper than London schools
We did it because the local Company is in SM and one of the DC would never have got a Grammar place. Our State Primary was fine so we used the time they were there to increase our savings, plus I didn’t work for a while.
We have 1 years fees put aside in a separate account and I can cover the wages with my earnings comfortably with some over, DH earns about 4 times what I do
We certainly aren’t the richest there but nobody cares, my DC walk to school so nobody even knows what I drive and their friends are always quite happy to come here. Dd went on the ski trip last year but we got plenty of time to pay and it wasn’t extortionate anyway
If it’s affordable and the school is the best option for your dc then go for it

@Ohcomeallyechristmas

I've just gone from a thread where a woman has got out of a relationship with DV, and now can't afford her damp, dangerous flat... to asking if living off a £12K holiday budget plus plenty of fun money plus saving £500 saving each month on top of the 100k already in savings will be enough

Unbelievable

How is that other thread relevant? That woman you mention won’t be any better or worse of wherever OPs dc go to school

Honestly? I wouldn’t in that situation unless the state schools were pretty ropey. I wouldn’t personally be comfortable with that level of savings but then I’m a planner and a saver.

You don’t mention whether you already contribute to a pension each. Or how old you are. That will also make a difference. We won’t have many working years left once school is done so can’t suddenly ramp up the savings/pension contributions once the fees are all done.

Would you spend all the money you would otherwise save, on fees?
It depends what my other school options were like

Does your "very very bright" DS also have a good work ethic? If so then he should thrive in any decent secondary school & I wouldn't waste your money this way. I say this as a teacher who has worked in both independent and state schools.

Can you say your salaries?

It’s easier to get a feel on lifestyle in London plus private

Yes you can EASILY afford it, unless your savings from income are your only source of pension now and going into the future. You could spend more than the UK average on a holiday (£2000-2500 for 2 adults and 2 kids according to ONS on a quick google) each summer and still save £9000+ per year.

Realistically most people are saving nothing or almost nothing from income, even using state schools. And most people use state schools.

Most families at our prep are professionals with clearly nothing like your income/savings and pay fees for 1-3 kids. They are prioritising education over holidays/fun money/bigger car etc. So you just need to prioritise, based on your kids and your local school options. You can afford it though.

Thanks all.

We are both in stable occupations... I am a midwife and DH is a junior partner in a law firm, not top tier but top UK 25. So his earnings should increase a fair amount over the next years as he becomes an equity partner.

Pensions is an excellent point, he’s not currently paying in, we certainly plan to start a pension for him this year. I have an NHS pension. We have lots of equity in the house and were thinking this would probably be our pension in the main.

We are both 40.

State schools are..... OK? Mostly rated Good, but the facilities seem lacking, have to get coaches to proper playing fields etc. There are 2 he’s likely to get in to from where we live and both are on an A road.

There’s a super selective grammar nearby which we are in the priority area for, and DS1 would certainly have a chance of getting in. Not sure about DS2 yet. But I’ve heard the boys can be a bit unsociable and it’s very academic, whereas DS1 is also very sporty.

Thanks for the feedback about the lack of snobbery, that’s very reassuring.

DHs salary is a bit in flux at the moment as he only became a partner 18 or so months ago so this is the first year he will get disbursements, and he also received a large bonus this year. The value of his points fluctuates also. But next financial year he should take home about 8k a month plus 10k a year disbursements (all after tax). Then he gets more points the following year etc. When he is on 20 points it’s expected he can transition to an equity partner, providing he meets all criteria, and their annual pre tax salary is about 300k, then fluctuates depending on what you bring in and the value of the points you hold.

I earn 23k/year.

I would say you can easily afford this, and you won’t be the poor relations either