Starting Year 11 GCSE 2021 Thread 2

[indy69]

Just continuing on from thread one. Let's support each other through these difficult times. Here is the earlier thread. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/3653238-Starting-Year-11-GCSE2021-title-edited-by-MNHQ

[quote The3rdMrsdeWinter]@TinyDancer78

Unfortunately, they matter a great deal to her and we are struggling to change her mindset

It's drummed into them from Yr7, isn't it? And it's wrong because A levels are their passport, they just need the grades at GCSE to get onto them, not a string of 9s like some of my friends insist their DC must get (their DC go to the two single sex grammars nearby).

One of my soon to be ex friends keeps telling me my DD's grades won't be the same as her DD's grades because the grammar is doing "proper" exams as opposed to the in class assessments my DD's comp are doing.

I smile and tell her the only grades that count are the ones on the certificate. Said friend also glosses over the fact that my DD has worked hard consistently, whereas her's has cruised.

Roll on summer![/quote]
Roll on summer indeed!

No wonder she’s going to soon be an ex-friend. What is wrong with some people? You are obviously much more patient than I am!

The3rdMrsdeWinter I agree.

Ds yr11is handling it all ok (33 assessments since Easter and counting) and looking forward to breaking up for a long summer.

He is going to a new college for A levels. Hasn't set foot inside the building yet, but is excited by the prospect of the next steps.

He doesn't have tales of upset amongst his peer groups and is aware that his grades may or may not be better or worse than than would be.

But generally, most parents in the vicinity are maybe not over invested in GCSE's and perhaps this translates into slightly less pressure for the students, and a what will be will be attitude.

But generally, most parents in the vicinity are maybe not over invested in GCSE's and perhaps this translates into slightly less pressure for the students, and a what will be will be attitude.

We don't put pressure on DD, there are only so many times that you can say, it is what it is, just do your best, before it starts to sound hollow. Some children are just more driven than others. Some kids don't cope with 4 or 5 exams in one day, often with no notice.

She wants to do well, sometimes I wish she was as blasé as kids who shrug it off. But she also knows that some universities look at GCSE grades too. Yesterday she sat a paper which contained an enormous amount of content that she hadn't covered. The couple of kids who sat it with her knew the contents as their friend had sat it the week before. But yeah, what will be, will be
My friend with a child at a good private school can't understand the angst, because her child has been well taught and sailed through the well organised assessments. Maybe your child has had the benefit of a good well organised school, not every child has.

I'm very happy for the kids and parents who are sailing through the 'exams' this year.
However you do not need a grade 9 in GCSE Empathy to realise that isn't the case for many children and parents where each school is handling things differently!!!

@MoiraQueen and @passmethemilk thank your so much for your measured responses.

I was about to leave the thread as a result of recent posts. I have told my DD more than once that we do not care about her results we care about her and the inference that her current state of mind is down to parenting is insulting and upsetting.

My poor DD has had a difficult time prior to COVID as her previously fit and healthy DF had a stroke followed by heart surgery and a suspected heart attack. As a result we were already shielding once lockdowns were announced and have been very careful since. This has left our 15 year old DD feeling disconnected and anxious.

Prior to all this she was a high achiever, she “sailed through” everything. Perhaps as parents we have failed to make her more resilient but we have never made her feel that she was defined by a set of results. Unfortunately any pressure comes from her disorganised school and herself.

It’s awful the way this situation is pitting parents against parents and schools against schools when all our dc have been shafted. I’m pretty sure we all think our dc has it the worst because there’s nothing fair about this.
@The3rdMrsdeWinter it’s bad your friend feels the way she does about the results but

Sorry posted too soon
@The3rdMrsdeWinter
I smile and tell her the only grades that count are the ones on the certificate. Said friend also glosses over the fact that my DD has worked hard consistently, whereas her's has cruised
You sound equally judgmental. This crap should be aimed at Gavin and the government, not undermining the 15/16 year olds.

I'm sorry to hear about your DD's DF Tiny - my mum died when I was in the 6th form so passmemilk is wrong, I have empathy in spades.

I just wanted to offer some balance, however, I shall go back to lurking and leave the regulars to their echo chamber.

Good luck to all our teens.

@The3rdMrsdeWinter I have found all of your posts to be empathetic and measured. So thank you.
We can only go off our own experiences and that of those around us. I just hope our teens come out the other side relatively unscathed.

I just want to say this chat has really helped me. As I am calm on the outside for my ds, this forum has really helped me destress.

I couldn't agree more - fault is not with the school but I am amazed there is such a varied approach with the schools - It is totally the fault of the government.

They keep talking about mental health and I believe the stress all our children have been through during lock down..:some having on line lessons and others having hardly any and then been told no exams and then yes exams..is too much unwanted stress for a child who wants to do well.

I personally can't wait till it is over and thinking what wonderful things we can do as a family. I have been considering buying a dog for us over this year...and that will be my new focus...

No pressure on DD here either from us, never has been, like I said upthread, the sound of my repetitive droning that you can only do your best etc etc is boring me.

It's great that some kids are coping well, however all kids are different, some will sail through, some will struggle and some will fall apart, it's the same every exam season, there's not a year goes by that we don't have kids in my school in pastoral in a complete state about exams.

This year is magnified by the absolute shit show this government has played on education, these kids don't know what's happening half the time, they've been in and out all year so of course some of them will be affected by this. As parents we can guide and support and hope that the ones struggling come through this with their mental health intact and knowing that whatever the outcome of this years exams they can all go on to achieve great things.

Some of DDs last assessments have now been cancelled, she's been given an end date of 28/5. There will be some online bridging work for 6th form followed by a taster day in July which she is horrified to find out is the day after prom, not sure who came up with that great idea She's spending today shopping with her friends for prom accessories so she's happy.

DS hasn’t even got a prom to look forward to! They cancelled the first week back to school in September. He is absolutely gutted. He spent Y7,8 and 9 hating himself and feeling incredibly self conscious. Puberty has been really kind to him and he really has transformed from an ugly duckling to a swan! He has a gorgeous girlfriend and for him the prom was so so much more than the end of school and it’s been taken away from them along with all the other experiences they have missed. It’s awful how these poor kids have been treated.

That's so rubbish iheart, to be honest after last nights presser I wouldn't be surprised if the next stage of easing is pushed back and it doesn't happen. We've been told if it's cancelled they will do it at a later date but I think it needs to be before they move on to the next stage.

iheart
That's a shame, they've missed so much. Although I am a little worried that ours could still get cancelled and I've bought DD's dress.

I just wanted to offer some balance, however, I shall go back to lurking and leave the regulars to their echo chamber

Nobody wants an echo chamber. It's actually lovely to hear that some kids aren't struggling and some schools are getting it right. I wouldn't want anyone else's child to be as stressed out as mine has been. I didn't take issue with your post - It was just the pp's suggestion that the parents were to blame that grated a little.

Well DD's exams are all finally over. Thank god. She now has 5 days to finish her art portfolio then they do a leavers ceremony next Friday and she is done. This weekend will be busy with finishing pieces and mounting everything but we are certainly on the home stretch! I hope everyone elses DC are doing ok and nearly finished :)

My DD too has finished her last exam today. Leavers assembly and prom planned for July. It's a weird feeling but onwards and upwards. ❤️

DDs last exams were on Wednesday, the last few days they've been watching films, doing some lab work in science, last day is Friday, they'll have their leavers Mass and then all over the park after school. She's doing her shirt today.

Prom is end of June fingers crossed! Her 16th is next week and we're having a smallish party in the garden so she's busy making playlists and buying outfits so it will be a nice final weekend.

DB has his own business and has asked her if she wants to do some admin type work with him until September which she jumped at, I'll be at work so won't be able to drop her so she is going to get the tube which will be good experience for her. She's also going to do a CV and walk round our shops and see if anything is on offer.

Hope all your DC are holding up ok.

DS was for the most part doing ok until yesterday. We got an email last night saying that they aren’t even going to get a results day...it will just be emailed to them. They won’t even get their Leavers Hoodies until September which seems rather pointless. This is on top of having no prom. So basically next Friday that’s it. Whilst I appreciate that’s what had to happen last year, we are in a much better position this year and all other local schools are having their prom.
Attached to the email was details of all the Bridging Work he has to do for A level. I’m not sure what I was expecting, maybe some textbook suggestions with some reading for the first few weeks work but in fact he had 4 massive projects for each subject (so 12 in total) which will take the entire summer. They are compulsory as they need to present them when they start back to 6th Form.
He is completely mentally and physically exhausted and quite honestly was looking forward to doing nothing. It just seems unfair to make them do this after the 2 years they have had

ihearttc
That sounds awful.
There is no excuse for no results day - our school managed it last year.
And no leavers hoodies until September is plain daft.
The bridging work sounds ridiculous too.
Can he go somewhere else?

@ihearttc some of these schools are acting in a bizarre way aren't they!
Has you child got a guaranteed place in six form them? Surely it's dependant on results if they get their sixth form choice and subjects? Some children could do all that work and be wasting their time?
Our sixth form is very competitive to get into so I'm basing my thoughts on that.

Honestly it’s absolutely ridiculous. I’ve already annoyed his HT back in September by questioning the cancellation of the prom, not sure I’ve got it in me to argue with her over this as well.
He should get into 6th Form, it’s a fairly low achieving High School so as long as they get decent enough grades they get a place (not exactly painting a great picture am I?!). We live fairly rurally and it’s a bit of a nightmare to get anywhere else. He also has a place on a BTEC Spors Course at a college but he wants to do A levels. Academically he is more than capable of doing them, he is predicted mostly 7’s and 8’s but I’m not sure he is ready for the work load.
It just feels like the last straw. He actually wanted to see the teachers etc on the Results Day and thank them etc, it feels like they are almost just washing their hands off them. Absolutely not teacher bashing, I know how hard they have worked but I really don’t understand their logic!

iheart I'd be seeing whether 'a bit of a nightmare' journey was bearable for 2 years. A BTEC Sports course seems not a great option for someone due to get 7/8s who wants to do A levels, but the school...

@TeenMinusTests

It was a back up option just in case his grades were awful. He had a phone interview and the man asked what his predicted grades were...he seemed shocked and said most people that do the course need to resit maths and English. So academically it doesn’t seem a great fit for him.

It’s a 12 hour day nearly to get him there as there are no trains only a bus which takes nearly 2 hours as it goes around all the little villages on the way...hence why he wanted to stay at his school 6th Form. He loves the school but is just really frustrated with how they have dealt with everything and all this bridging work isn’t helping!

Is it out of the question for you to drive him at least one way?
DD's college is an hour door to door by bus, but we are going to drive her (30mins) for the first year because she has been so unwell she wouldn't cope. We are retired though so can fit it in.

Sounds like his current school might be the 'least worst' option.
I bet everyone doesn't do all the bridging work. Maybe set aside some weeks to do it 'full time' and then agree anything else doesn't get done?