DS wants to repeat Year 13

[user20]

Hi,

My 18 y/o DS who is in Year 13 and is due to finish school forever at the end of this year is wanting to go back next year to repeat the year. He is currently out on study leave.

Basically, he is only doing one a level as his attendance was below 80%, not just this year but last year in year 12 too.

He has had no valid reason for this behaviour, he has just been lazy and made excuses and turned up to school whenever and when it suited him.

He is an intelligent guy, he got 4As and 1B and 2Cs in his GCSEs, It has annoyed me and my DH a lot over the last two years that he has wasted his potential like this, he could have done so much better.

I just want him to have a better life and employment opportunities.

He just seemed so distracted over sixth year, he just seems to be always on his phone and listening to music and on social media. he was missing deadlines, not revising for exams, well last year he did but left it to very close to the exams and came out with 2Ds and a C in his AS exams which is impressive for somebody who didn't bother going to school or revising.

The school were meant to Kick him out so many times as they tried working with him but he didn't co operate, the workload got too much and he had to drop down to one a level a few months ago as it was too much work to do in such a short period of time.

He has a btec ict exam in a few days and hes done nothing for it - he can't even be bothered to work for one exam.

He has said often that he regrets his behaviour as he knows he was capable of doing more and maybe going to uni in September, I wouldn't be bothered if he chose not to go to uni but I think he needs his a levels.

Anyway, after a long wasted two years, reality has kicked in as he now wants to have a good career and has found out that if he were to start a two year a level course at an FE College, his education wouldn't be funded from September 2020 onwards.

He now wants the option to go back to school next year and repeat Year 13 - is it likely after all this carry on that they'll have him back?

Tapas,

I think A-levels are all linear too. I don't know about the BTec that the OP mentions?

Tapas,

I think A-levels are all linear too. I don't know about the BTec that the OP mentions?

If I were in charge of education in this country I'd bring back night schools and then young people in your son's position would be told to work in the day and go to night class if they'd messed up. That would be hard work and would separate out those who really want to do it from those who just want an easy life.

Hollowtalk- didn’t realise night schools no longer existed😳 what a loss

@titchy you don't know a thing If you think I have time to waste by sitting around making nonsense threads then you are so wrong. Everything I have written here is true whether you like it or not

@LynetteScavo everybody deserves a second chance!!! So yes he should be allowed back on the condition he changes his ways!!! Or else he shouldn't be going back at all

@cantkeepawayforever his btec is a two year course so no AS equivalent

@EvilTwins isn't it a great attitude DS' teachers have when the bloody school haven't got back to him yet with a day and time for his meeting with VP. I'm going to scream - this situation is really getting on my nerves!!!

So yes he should be allowed back on the condition he changes his ways!!!

Well, no.

Two things seem relevant here:
a) He has completed a Level 3 course of study, by taking his A level(s) - hence no funding and

b) He has SEN, and possible MH issues, which clearly contribute significantly to how the last couple of years have developed.

So there is no 'should' let him back.

Equally the fact that you are refusing to support him, even by as much as accompanying him to the meeting, would imply that another key component of meaningful change for any child, especially one with an with an EHCP - absolute backing and support from an involved and informed parent - is critically lacking.

He should be enabled to find an alternative route forward to obtaining more qualifications, absolutely - either at this point or in a few years' time - but he has no right to literally 'go back to the same school' once he has completed his course, just because he didn't complete it 'well enough'.

the bloody school haven't got back to him yet with a day and time for his meeting with VP
It is not their responsibility any more as he has finished his exams. I imagine they have more important things to do than arranging a meeting with essentially an ex pupil.

everybody deserves a second chance
Of course he deserves a second chance, he can enrol and pay to do whatever course he wants at a local college, nobody is writing him off.

I am still not sure what you actually want from the school? Do you want them to compress three A-level courses into 1 year just for him? Are you expecting them to pay for extra support and extra teachers just for him? Is the idea to take the same A-levels that he has failed? What does repeating year 13 actually mean to you/him?

Can you explain why the school should prioritise meeting an 18 year old leaver with no parental support, who has a history of truancy and has just failed all his exams?

A session with a pastoral worker, the SENCo, a careers advisor or similar - absolutely, if they have spare time. The head - perhaps less.

"everybody deserves a second chance
Of course he deserves a second chance, he can enrol and pay to do whatever course he wants at a local college, nobody is writing him off."

^ This. This is what a second chance looks like.

@Walkingdeadfangirl he's not an ex pupil though if he's still on the school registers? They don't just remove pupils from the school roll as soon as they finish their exams, they remain on roll until the last day of term. So therefore he is still a pupil there

@cantkeepawayforever like I said before, if they can give other school refusers a Chance then why is my DS any different??

I understand what my DS has done is so so wrong and he shouldn't be allowed back again but if they're gonna allow others back then so should he

@cantkeepawayforever he is an adult now so why on earth do I need to go to the meeting with him if he doesn't want me there???

I have no legal responsibilities for him any longer!!

Would I be going to meetings with him when he's 25? No

he's not an ex pupil though if he's still on the school registers?
Yes, but that is just semantics, if he has finished his A levels the schools responsibilities to him are finished.

if they can give other school refusers a Chance then why is my DS any different Your DS wasn't apparently a school refuser and he seems to have had second and third chances already.

he is an adult now so why on earth do I need to go to the meeting with him if he doesn't want me there Then why on earth are you posting on here?

You still haven't explained what you think repeating Y13 actually means?

User20 In real life do you feel powerless as a parent? I can’t believe that you would take the time to post so much here with regards your DS’s hoe of repeating year 13 but refuse to provide parental support and clarification during a key meeting that is the only chance to make it a reality. It therefore seems more likely that your DS is blocking your attempts at help and shutting you out.

I honestly don’t think that the school are going to be able to continue as caring adult guidance for your DS.
In any case educationally a repeat year 13 is not going to be a panacea for your DS’s future since lack of maturity is not the only issue.
Tricky and upsetting for you as you are going to have think of other ways to provide the parenting and additional support that your teenage / young adult DS needs to engage back into life.

he is an adult now

You know people don't actually gain the maturity of an adult on their 18th birthday, right? Your DS has shown literally no sign of being an adult this year going by this thread.

Would I be going to meetings with him when he's 25? No

If a child of mine needed me to, to right I would. Your child has SNs and mental health issues. He needs your support.

if they can give other school refusers a Chance then why is my DS any different??

had the other school refusers FINISHED Year 13 AND been enetered for their exams?

The others you mentioned had NOT reahed this stage - e.g. they repeated Year 12, or broke off Year 13 early. Aspeople have explained patiently, time and time again, that makes the situation entirely different.

If you have a precedent in the school of a child who has completed Year 13 and been entered for A-levels repeating Year 13, then of course the same could be extended to your child. But you haven't given us any such examples?

My dad worked for many, many years with SEN young adults. Their parents advocated tirelesly for them for many, many years, well into 'adulthood', fighting for what they needed at every stage.

You have an SEN young adult, with MH difficulties, who you are instead abandoning, hiding behind a smokescreen of his age.

OP, I've been wondering about the ICT BTEC. Normally with BTECs there are ongoing assignments which are graded Pass, Merit or Distinction. In order to get an overall Merit grade ~2/3rds must be at Merit, similarly for Distinction.

Do you know how your son has got on over the 2 years with the assignments?

The grading 'equivalence' with A level is Pass=E grade, Merit=C grade, Distinction=A grade, and a Distinction = A .

Would I be going to meetings with him when he's 25? No

Do you not believe in supporting your children. He has SN and an entitlement to have his ECHP till 25 so if the 'system' recognises he needs support till that age why not you - you bloody well should be going.

My neurotypical child is three years older than yours, had a health issue and I took a week of work to support her.

Anyway people post all sorts of stuff here. They keep it up for years. They post long convoluted tales designed to invoke attention. Don't know why - something missing in their real lives I guess. This thread appears to be one.