DS wants to repeat Year 13

[user20]

Hi,

My 18 y/o DS who is in Year 13 and is due to finish school forever at the end of this year is wanting to go back next year to repeat the year. He is currently out on study leave.

Basically, he is only doing one a level as his attendance was below 80%, not just this year but last year in year 12 too.

He has had no valid reason for this behaviour, he has just been lazy and made excuses and turned up to school whenever and when it suited him.

He is an intelligent guy, he got 4As and 1B and 2Cs in his GCSEs, It has annoyed me and my DH a lot over the last two years that he has wasted his potential like this, he could have done so much better.

I just want him to have a better life and employment opportunities.

He just seemed so distracted over sixth year, he just seems to be always on his phone and listening to music and on social media. he was missing deadlines, not revising for exams, well last year he did but left it to very close to the exams and came out with 2Ds and a C in his AS exams which is impressive for somebody who didn't bother going to school or revising.

The school were meant to Kick him out so many times as they tried working with him but he didn't co operate, the workload got too much and he had to drop down to one a level a few months ago as it was too much work to do in such a short period of time.

He has a btec ict exam in a few days and hes done nothing for it - he can't even be bothered to work for one exam.

He has said often that he regrets his behaviour as he knows he was capable of doing more and maybe going to uni in September, I wouldn't be bothered if he chose not to go to uni but I think he needs his a levels.

Anyway, after a long wasted two years, reality has kicked in as he now wants to have a good career and has found out that if he were to start a two year a level course at an FE College, his education wouldn't be funded from September 2020 onwards.

He now wants the option to go back to school next year and repeat Year 13 - is it likely after all this carry on that they'll have him back?

I don't think alevels are the right course for your ds. He hasn't engaged with them.

Post 19 Education is funded by advanced learner loans so it's not the end of the world and he can access it, he just has to pay it back once earning £25k. There are many alternative programmes -

Access to he if he wants to go to uni (law is an option)
End point assessment
Apprenticeships
Vocational options.

This is just some of the options and if he is funding it with an advanced learner loan then he may well have some engagement with it.

Flogging the dead horse that is school alevels isn't going to help aaanyone and as you say, school haven't helped (in fact appear to be a wet lettuce!)

A levels are not for everyone, even clever folk aren't always suited to them and they are not the only route to success - if he is not motivated enough to study now - it doesn't mean he won't be in the future, I think there is little point in forcing the issue now, he is at a fragile time in his life..he needs help and support to move on to the next stage - a job in tesco is absolutely fine while he figures out his next move...just do not allow him to hang around home doing nothing, it really isn't good for him.

Of course you can get time off work for a meeting at the school. You request it as emergency leave for a family matter.
It will probably mean losing a days pay (or half a day) but this is IMPORTANT. Would you not take time off work if he was rushed to hospital with a medical emergency?
Take ONE day off work for your son. Please. He needs help.
He also needs to accept it is almost 99.9% likely he won't be going back to 6th. He needs a better plan. The school should have info on what local colleges offer. If he goes to the meeting and says I am interested in doing X but I need to know the best route they will help and advise. If he just goes in and says "I will work harder I promise" then that's no good.
He needs a written 'business plan' of what he would like to do. Just saying "I wanna be a barrister" isn't enough. You need to sit down and look properly at routes and qualifications and skills and even volunteering/internships that could reach that goal. Plan it. Write it down. And get correct advice - whether from school, colleges, a local law firm or whatever. He obviously didn't have much guidance when picking his a level subjects. Geography! Why? Business Studies! Why?
Go to the meeting.
One day off work is nothing vs your son and the help he needs.
Take the day off work!

One other thing OP - I mentioned the Open University above and said that their fees are expensive (they effectively charge the same as other universities despite not having the overheads). However, if your son gets a job, while he's working he could look at the Open Learning website (free) and the Futurelearn website. A subscription to Futurelean for a year costs £200ish and you can do as many courses as you want during the year. There are law-related courses, he could also look at courses designed for people considering university or maybe something completely different will take his fancy or he could try a language. You can do the courses for free, but the certificates cost, so the subscription could definitely be worthwhile. After the year he would have some money from the job, and some new knowledge from the courses.

OP, I think you are in denial and ignoring what is obvious to everyone else. Your focus seems to be on him achieving A levels as a definition of success in life. It isn't always the case.

Also you seen to acknowledge he isn't mature enough to self discipline and school should have done more but then assume he is disciplined enough to handle a meeting by himself. I think it's really important that you now show him support and guidance.

@LynetteScavo he isn't eligible for foundation degrees due to him only doing one a level. He applied to uni through ucas earlier this year when he was doing 3 a levels but the careers teacher told him to withdraw his application because he'd get no offers with only 2Ds at AS + a btec which he hadn't got an overall grade for last year

the careers teacher told him to withdraw his application because he'd get no offers with only 2Ds at AS

What did he apply to do?

OK OP now you’re just making things up. I don’t believe the UCAS thing because:
a. It would have been nothing to do with a careers teacher and everything to do with his form tutor/head of 6th Form.
b. They wouldn’t have let him start a UCAS application if he dropped down to 1 subject.
c. most UCAS applications are put in before courses are finished and so teachers put predicted grades. The fact that he hadn’t finished his BTEC is irrelevant. UCAS deadline is in January so very few apply with a solid set of actual grades.

@user20 it’s almost impossible to know what’s true, what you’re making up and what you may believe to be true but your DS has made up.

@EvilTwins I have not made anything up.

DS' year group was pretty small this year as a lot of people dropped out after year 12 and so the careers teacher dealt with all the UCAS applications.

They started ucas in September and DS was still doing 3 a levels at that point so yes he was allowed to apply.

After that, the careers teacher suggested that there wouldn't be much point in applying to uni this year due to his poor grades at AS which I think was unfair as for all ucas knew, he could have resat his AS' this summer and his grades would have gone up so the fact they won't give offers out based on AS grades is ridiculous. It should be based on what they get at A level not AS.

DS only dropped to one a level within the last 2/3 months

They will look at AS grades if they are available.
Someone only capable of Ds at AS (though aptitude or work ethic) is unlikely to suddenly get up to A grades at A level.

Therefore they won't waste an offer of e.g. AAB to someone with DDD at AS as they are statistically very unlikely to achieve the offer.

I agree with you that L3 qualifications would be useful. But I also don't think repeating y13 is the way to go. For all your son's assurances I think it is likely that the same issues would arise again.

Help him to get a job. Then he can do an evening class/course, and show he now has the work ethic. If he proves he can do this, then consider an access course or apprenticeship for Sept 2020.

(He didn't drop to one A level. As in he didn't officially stop iirc. He was still entered for the exams.)

@TeenTimesTwo so what exactly would have happened had he applied To uni anyway? Say on a level results day he got AAB somehow, would he be accepted into the course he applied for if those grades met the criteria? Even if he did get 2Ds at AS?

@user20 UCAS offers are generally based on predicted A level grades, not AS grades.

Yeah this doesn't make sense, I think we're having our chains pulled. ...

UCAS make offers based on predicted A Level grades - most students won't have AS grades at all, so he would have had offers, and no careers teacher would have suggested he withdraw (how many schools have careers teachers anyway?).

I don't believe any parent would have so little knowledge about their child, and make so little effort, not even going to a meeting with them, when that child has been struggling for years and is has an EHCP and CAMHS involvement.

What could have happened is this:
School predicts CCC based on work ethic and results so far.

You/he feel that of course he will do loads better, so he applies for courses which normally require AAA->BBB.
He gets no offers.

On results day he surprised everyone with AAB. At that point he could go for 'adjustment' (a kind of inverse clearing for those that have done better than expected) Courses at universities that still had spaces would have considered him, but they might not have been courses or places he has already looked at.

Better therefore perhaps to do the A levels, get the great grades (or not), plan for a year out, and apply based on actual results.

It would have been nothing to do with a careers teacher and everything to do with his form tutor/head of 6th Form. Careers teacher was responsible for all UCAS applications at my school - the teaching staff and form tutors took no part in it.

It should be based on what they get at A level not AS.

DSs' were based on predicted grades for A Level. Only DS1 sat AS levels as they had been scrapped by the time DS2 did them - he sat internal exams to use as a prediction base.

Hi OP. I’ve read the full thread. I’m going to share a bit about me in the hope it might help you.

I am dyslexic and have ASD. I wasn’t diagnosed with either of these until adult hood. I did okay at GCSE - similar grades to your DS although I did 9 subjects. I thought they were quite good grades too! I did A-levels. I admit I find the leap to A-level massive. I found the sheer volume of work intense and struggled to achieve the level of self-directed study required. I got glandular fever in year 13 and my attendance dropped to 85% because of it. I really struggled to catch up. I didn’t get the grades I needed to do the course I wanted so I was allowed to resit at 6th form - I needed to improve my Biology grade but there were lots of us (maybe 15 students? Big 6th form) so they did a resit class where they covered the content within a year. I worked hard and got the grades I needed. I went to uni but again I found it very difficult to manage life, do my studies away from home. Things were better once I was diagnosed with dyslexia. I did graduate but I scraped through. Later I did a vocational qualification which was much better for me and I did fine (despite it being at Masters level!) I’ve been in that career for 12 years now.

Have you heard of Aspie burnout? Sometimes when things are very challenging, I find my anxiety peaks to the point I feel totally paralysed. I wonder if this is what your DS has been experiencing? Honestly, I don’t think A-levels are for him. There are other ways to get a career. There’s many jobs with potential for on the job training that don’t require A-levels or degree qualifications. I would encourage him to look at colleges with more vocational qualifications or apprenticeships (I know it’s not as easy as it used to be). I’m much better with more hands on learning. It doesn’t have to be uni or dead end job. You need to help him to set realistic career goals. If he can’t motivate himself at A-level, he’s not likely to do it at uni without you there to support him! But a job with hands on learning might suit him well.

I want to totally agree with FaithInfinity's post above. DD1 has Aspergers syndrome, ADHD and anxiety and suffered some similar issues to your DS. An illness developed into Tieze syndrome and the stress built up so much that she ended up overwhelmed and stayed in her room because she didn't know where to start with the workload.

When you have a child with disabilities - especially more invisible disabilities such as ASD and OCD you have to help and support them much more that if they are non-disabled. Saying to them that they are 18 and need to sort themselves out is very harsh. We contacted the school, went to meetings (where dd got served with notices of likely failure), negotiated her workload (she only did exams and assessed work) and maintained contact. When we first made contact she had 43 outstanding assessed assignments but they all got done. She passed everything even if her grades were not the best. She got onto a nursing degree (didn't have the grades for medical school), even then the first year was hard going but it really clicked in years 2 and 3. She graduated and was employed straight after graduation at a specialist unit that paid her a starting salary over £30K per year.

OP I think that you need to step up and offer support to your DS right now and help him to sort out his future and attend meetings with him. You need to sort out a plan of what he wants to do and what is realistic and help him advocate this with the school. You need to help him look at alternatives and tell him what support you are able to give.

Wow Lunde- huge respect to you and your Dd. I hope OP takes note- your story is really inspirational!
Faithinfinity- congratulations too, it’s so easy to make excuses but you haven’t given up at any point and have overcome so many hurdles.
I sincerely hopes OP absorbs both your advice, I don’t know why her dialogue upsets me. Possibly because I genuinely believe her son requires understanding, help and some love😰

Thanks Lunde. That’s amazing what your DD has achieved! It does take support. My parents were great. When I resat my A-level, I did a GCSE at night school in a year, my Mum did it too. I got an A and she got a B!

Thanks Arewedone. It hasn’t been easy. At times, it was hard to get out of bed. I’ve had to take Anti-depressants on and off since I was 22 and I do get frustrated at times...but I should be proud of my accomplishments. I’ve never been fired! It’s not always been easy, I’ve done some fields in my career that didn’t suit me and had to move, but I keep going!

So, @user20 your current plan is to let your DS go into school in a few weeks on his own without your support to try to persuade them to let him come back for another year.

And they'll let him back because he's seen the error of his ways and will work really hard and get what he needs to study a law degree.And go on to be a barrister.

Good luck. I hope he achieves it. He won't get there without a shed load of determination, and support from you.

I have no more advice, and if I did, you wouldn't listen anyway.

Say on a level results day he got AAB somehow, would he be accepted into the course he applied for if those grades met the criteria? Even if he did get 2Ds at AS?

With 2 Ds at AS this isn't possible. Assume he got A*s in year 13. The highest mark he can get for the 2 Ds is 2 Bs, and that is extremely unlikely given his poor attendance.

Tavannach,

Actually, that is now incorrect. The ASs are no longer part of the A-level mark (which is why many schools have now dropped them altogether).

Some schools do still do them, but the A-level grade is based ONLY on the end of Y13 exams, which examine the student on y12 and Y13 work. So in theory it is perfectly possible to get a much higher - or conversely much lower - result in Y13 than in Y12

Tavannach That depends on whether the AS were half the qualification (as unreformed AS/A2) or whether they were taken as a 'how's he getting on' standalone qualification that then gets superseded by taking the A level the following year.

I thought that all A levels were linear now. DD took AS levels in 2017, but they weren't part of her A levels. Her A levels that she took last year were all linear.