DS wants to repeat Year 13

[user20]

Hi,

My 18 y/o DS who is in Year 13 and is due to finish school forever at the end of this year is wanting to go back next year to repeat the year. He is currently out on study leave.

Basically, he is only doing one a level as his attendance was below 80%, not just this year but last year in year 12 too.

He has had no valid reason for this behaviour, he has just been lazy and made excuses and turned up to school whenever and when it suited him.

He is an intelligent guy, he got 4As and 1B and 2Cs in his GCSEs, It has annoyed me and my DH a lot over the last two years that he has wasted his potential like this, he could have done so much better.

I just want him to have a better life and employment opportunities.

He just seemed so distracted over sixth year, he just seems to be always on his phone and listening to music and on social media. he was missing deadlines, not revising for exams, well last year he did but left it to very close to the exams and came out with 2Ds and a C in his AS exams which is impressive for somebody who didn't bother going to school or revising.

The school were meant to Kick him out so many times as they tried working with him but he didn't co operate, the workload got too much and he had to drop down to one a level a few months ago as it was too much work to do in such a short period of time.

He has a btec ict exam in a few days and hes done nothing for it - he can't even be bothered to work for one exam.

He has said often that he regrets his behaviour as he knows he was capable of doing more and maybe going to uni in September, I wouldn't be bothered if he chose not to go to uni but I think he needs his a levels.

Anyway, after a long wasted two years, reality has kicked in as he now wants to have a good career and has found out that if he were to start a two year a level course at an FE College, his education wouldn't be funded from September 2020 onwards.

He now wants the option to go back to school next year and repeat Year 13 - is it likely after all this carry on that they'll have him back?

Was their a plan in place for him to go to university in September if he had passed his a-levels?

Did he have any offers, what grades and subjects where they for? Law?

It just seems like he cant deal with taking personal responsibility for getting to /staying at school. The whole sixth form freedom is too much. Which i can really understand. If you miss a lesson and no action/immediate consequence happens. It is actually more surprising that some attend and do well. Ideally there would be an option for parents at gcse/sixth form for parents to decide whether dc could leave the premises.
You need to learn self motivation and i guess some people may not be strong on that. With the alevel results so far off.
Tbh this issue seems an issue at state schools from primary. With so many students they may not feed back to parents behaviour that you would like to nip in the bud (say too long toilet breaks/not finishing the work) then the behaviour becomes entrenched.

Ive seen this with a kid who just stopped going in and ended up at a PRU.

Is the system at fault for not being able to enforce attendance? (Or inform parents immediately so they can sort it.)
Or as op is saying immediate sanctions/loss of alevel place.
I dont understand how kids think they will pass without going to leasons. We had about 8 lessons per week per alevel.
Maybe publishing results and attendance would make parents and students clear that they need say 93%+ to even have a chance of As

@user20 did you contact the school?

If you're going to, you'll need to do that soon. If he has don his exam, then he's finished - the school are no longer responsible for him and have no obligation to even see you or him to talk about his future. They've done their job.

@EvilTwins he is scheduled for an appointment to see his vice principal in the next few weeks.

Even though he has done his last exam, officially, is he not still a pupil there until the end of term? Don't they not keep them on the school roll until that date whether or not their exams are done are not?

He is part of the cohort finishing this year, yes, but honestly, the school’s bottom line job is to get him as far as his exams. After that, the school has no responsibility for a yr 13 student. Does he have an actual appointment scheduled in? Are you going to go with him?

@Helix1244 yes I think the structure of sixth form was to open and free if you know what I mean.

Prior to KS5, DS had a full timetable and suddenly when he came into year 12 he had free periods here there and everywhere and he started bunking off school during his frees which then lead to him just not going to school much at all and it just became a vicious circle off it and well long story short, this is what it has ended like

@EvilTwins yes, he rang the school office and asked the secretary to make one and they are going to ring him back, actually I kind of written that wrongly because it's not actually scheduled yet but It will be when they get back to him with a day and time.

I'm not going with him to it, he wants to go himself anyway. He knows what he needs to say.

P.s if DS is not on roll until 31 August then how does his free dental care work? If he's 18 and not in full time education it has to be paid for, so does this not end once he's removed off the school's system? I thought they all remained part of the school until 31 August

"I'm not going with him to it, he wants to go himself anyway. He knows what he needs to say."

Given that he hasn't done a very good job on his own, don't you think it might benefit him if you go with him? If you were as involved in his education as you keep saying you are (although there doesn't seem to be much evidence of that based on what you have written so far) wouldn't you want to go with him?

He clearly isn't emotionally mature enough to make the decisions that you seem to think he is grown up enough to do so.

He clearly doesn't feel ready for that responsibility, so maybe you need to take that responsibility back from him until he is ready.

He’s on the school roll until 31st Aug but their obligations have, in effect, ended.

Why are you not going with him? After everything that’a been said on this thread? You keep insisting that you are totally supportive and yet you’re not going to go to this meeting - the meeting which you believe could determine his future? You say he’s intelligent - strikes me that he is skilled at spinning you along and making you believe anything he says. Go to the meeting FFS.

@EvilTwins ds is old enough to go to the meeting himself he is not in primary school anymore.

If he was in a job would I need to go to his manager with him if he needed to discuss something?

My DC is almost the same age and I still go to all their meetings with them. They might be old enough to go on their own but they are not mature enough. Until they are in work or at Uni they still need parental support to make choices.

You really need to go with him to that meeting.

You need to be a parent. So far, your hands-off approach has led to him wasting 2 years of 6th Form education, so maybe now is the time to step up.

My money is on this appointment never happening or him claiming it’s happening then not turning up. But that’s fine, eh OP? No need for you or him to take any responsibility. Despite the fact that the school have provided what they are obligated to for last 7 years, it’s still not enough.

The boy clearly needs guidance. You are his mother. Help him out.

He's not lying. He has rang the school. He did it right in front of me. And he's not like that - he will turn up for the meeting.

I can't get the time off work to go

@user20

He's in an in between phase. I think since it is school and not uni you should be involved, especially since you will be supporting him financially.

As for the dentistry he needs to apply for an NHS exemption on grounds of low income.

He needs to be bringing in an income. He could apply for universal credit and get a pittance of around £200 a month (although as spending money for someone living at home it is a lot) and having the job centre breathing down his neck to do 35 hours a week jobsearch till he finds something or working.

Having the basic daily structure of working and some money of his own will do him a lot of good.

And he's not like that - he will turn up for the meeting

He didn’t turn up for school very often! You need to open your eyes. You’re not helping him, you’re enabling him.

"ds is old enough to go to the meeting himself he is not in primary school anymore."

He is old enough, but clearly not mature enough. You seem to think that once a child turns 18 they magically become mature, responsible adults. They don't. Some do, an awful lot don't. You keep saying you are supporting your son, but you aren't.

You keep saying that he needs to step up. Yes he does, but so do you. Your hands off approach hasn't worked so far.

Can he even claim for universal credit yet if he's in full time education still

@EvilTwins and he regrets it all now so much. I think the poor boy is suffering because of his actions and I think he'd have less money worries and less worrying about the future if he was succeeding with his a levels.

I think he feels a bit insecure now that he has no a levels and is worrying that his mistake will see him with no job and out on the streets

@user20 attendance code S is the code used for study leave on electronic registers such as sims.

They won't mark him using code O during study leave because of the very fact he is on study leave whether he did one exam or not or revised or not. For them to record him with any other code would be inaccurate because it is study leave and DfE guidelines state that study leave must be recorded as code S.

My DH is a teacher.

And OP, whoever deals with sims in your DS' school will just bulk mark all the year 11, 12 and 13s using code S at once through the system.

It's not as if your DS' form teacher will mark the register every morning and mark the whole class as S every single day. The registers will already be filled in from the commencement of study leave right through until the end of term so the form teachers don't need to do this as it'll be done for them by somebody else

I think @EvilTwins knows more about the registers than what you do @mummabear1967

I hope he is being marked using code S. If it's not his form teacher marking him in then who the hell is it

@user20 yes of course they have marked him as code S during study leave, duh?!?

Like I said before - if the kids are all on study leave then it has to be recorded on the attendance register as code S which indicates study leave. If they marked him with any other code this would indicate that he wasn't on study leave and was absent.

I'm sure @Bunnylove83 and @EvilTwins know this themselves as I'm sure they've used sims before.

@user20 I already said it would be the person in charge of attendance marking S in the register. Form tutors won’t be doing it at this stage. Yr 11s and Yr 13s will be bulk marked as on study leave from the point it started until the end of term.

I think he feels a bit insecure now that he has no a levels and is worrying that his mistake will see him with no job and out on the streets

The majority of people don't have Alevels and don't end up with no job and out on the streets.

There are options open to him, as posters keep trying to tell you. It's your job as his parent to make sure he's aware of the options so he doesn't feel anxious and think he's going to end up poor and homeless. As your parent you need to help him stay positive and maintain good mental health. Have you even looked at the .gov website to look at local apprenticeships?

Did you answer whether he'd applied to uni at all? A few months ago he could have lined up a foundation year, but I suspect not. I think you did post he's enrolled on a BTEC business course at college. Did you speak to the college about funding yesterday? Because however busy I was at work I would have damn well found the time to make that phone call.

He didn’t turn up for school very often! You need to open your eyes. You’re not helping him, you’re enabling him.

I agree.