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Secondary education

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Original poster

Opinion please! School absence due to parent working abroad

216 replies

TheGreenEye · 26/02/2019 23:30

I've suffered clinical depression for years, including a couple of suicide attempts. I'm recovering, been back at work about a year without any serious episodes.

Work have assigned me to go to work abroad (as in different continent!) for a fortnight in term time. I'm wary of the effect that might have on my mental health, but there's no-one else can do the work. This is one of the reasons I've decided to take my family with me. Being together as a family is hugely important to us all, we do everything together.

We have never taken an unauthorised term-time holiday before, and likely never will again.

The work trip is last minute (10 days notice) due to financial restraints being lifted after a risk assessment of the alternatives. It will be the trip of a lifetime for my kids. Primary school are supportive "oh yes, you must go!"

The secondary school seem less so and I'm worried we will face a hefty fine on our return.

Guidance on what constitutes "exceptional circumstances" seems difficult to come by.

We've sent a letter from my employers confirming this is work, not pleasure. Is there any other evidence I should be presenting to the school?

OP posts:
PCohle · 27/02/2019 13:23

Making your mental health problems your children's responsibility is a horrific and damaging thing to do.

It sounds like the OP is looking only at the benefit to him of the DC going and not whether it is actually in their best interests.

Not that he is going to return to this thread though.

FinallyHere · 27/02/2019 13:28

family once in a lifetime trip to a different continent as educational.

I would suggest that a lot depends on what the wife and children are going to do all day. Living as local people do in a village cut off from civilisation would be very different to two weeks in the sort of hotel which would be pretty much exactly the same as at home.

What plans have been made for the children. Do they each have a project, journal or other activity to keep them occupied and engaged ?

As for travelling as a family in order to maintain the parent's mental health, I just can't imagine who would do something like that.

Hollowvictory · 27/02/2019 13:31

Just go, pay the fine its a max of £240 covering both kids.

CornishMaid1 · 27/02/2019 13:36

The problem is that 'exceptional' is set by the head/person authorising the absence. Perhaps if you appeal it the local authority would get involved and have a say.

The HT is basically saying to you that she would personally call it exceptional, but from the rules they have she cannot use that and has to have it as unauthorised.

I went out of school for a week for our family holiday every year (they didn't fine back then). I was one of the smarter children and I never felt any effects from it and if did not affect my career.

On the flip side, I know of one family who would take their child out of school at least one period (whether a day or a week) a month as they worked away and the children fell very far behind as the parents did nothing to make up all the time missed and fill in the blanks.

I am of the view that there is more to life and education is important and doesn't always take place in the classroom. You will have to suffer the fine if one gets issued (they may try not to) but have a wonderful time.

prh47bridge · 27/02/2019 14:07

Is it £120 for the whole trip, or £120/day

It depends on the LA but the law allows for fines of up to £60 per child per parent per session (there are two sessions per day). So, for two parents and two children, you could be fined £240 per day. However, it is unlikely to be that much. I don't know of any LA that would do that. Your LA has a code of practice which will set out under what circumstances fines are issued and the level of fines.

The problem is that 'exceptional' is set by the head/person authorising the absence

Personally I would describe that as a positive. I would rather someone local in full possession of the facts was taking the decision rather than a remote bureaucrat following a rigid set of rules.

Perhaps if you appeal it the local authority would get involved and have a say

They won't. They do not have any say in whether or not absence should be authorised. Even if it is a community school, the LA will only get involved after you have exhausted the school's complaints procedure and then only to check that the procedure has been followed properly. The LA will not overrule the governors.

The HT is basically saying to you that she would personally call it exceptional, but from the rules they have she cannot use that and has to have it as unauthorised

No she isn't. There are no rules other than those the school makes itself. There is some guidance from the National Association of Head Teachers but that is not binding on schools.

It's the weakest of all arguments. It's the equivalent of "if pigs could fly" but people think it has weight for some reason

In the context of this particular issue, it does have weight. The fines were introduced because of growing problems with absenteeism in schools, particularly persistent absenteeism. The rules were tightened a few years ago because far too many parents thought they had the right to take their children out of school for two weeks for a holiday. That was not what the rules said but so many parents believed it was true that schools were finding it difficult to prevent it, with the result that learning was repeatedly being disrupted for the entire class as yet another child disappeared for two weeks in the sun.

Nesssie · 27/02/2019 14:18

Its not exceptional circumstances. Other people manage to have one parent working abroad just fine. You just want a holiday. Own it and pay the fine.

Nesssie · 27/02/2019 14:19

Also, you need to work on your people skills. No wonder your husband works away so much. - You sound like bitch.

bsc · 27/02/2019 15:16

Two weeks out of school in Y8 won't make too much difference to your child's education.... but a top set (so I'm presuming able) child taking H&SC and food tech? Hmm
That will have far more of an impact in her opportunities and choices in life. Art is fine, as everyone needs a subject they love rather than purely academic studies, but really?

IM0GEN · 27/02/2019 15:23

School want here to do eBAC, she's chosen options of Food Tech, Art, Geography and Health And Social Care

That’s odd. Because the Ebacc consists øƒ

English language and literature
maths
the sciences
geography or history
a language

According to the government that is. But of course they may well be wrong and not appreciate the specialness and exceptionality of your child. I’m sure you will put them right OP.

dreichuplands · 27/02/2019 15:33

You may not get fined OP, we took our dc out of school to get visas for moving abroad, it wasn't authorized by the HT but we completed the paperwork for the absence before we left and met with her. She didn't authorize or pass it on for a fine, it just went down as unauthorized absences. It was only a few days though.
Enjoy your trip.
It isn't an exceptional circumstance to be fair to the school, my dc would have no education if we always traveled with DH. We sometimes join him for a long weekend however, current school in US is totally relaxed about this.

dreichuplands · 27/02/2019 15:37

I would also add that you don't want to be sharing a hotel room with jet lagged dc if you are trying to work. Make sure you have your own space to sleep when you get where you are going. Also allow jet lag recovery for them before sending them back into school.

prh47bridge · 27/02/2019 15:43

She didn't authorize or pass it on for a fine, it just went down as unauthorized absences. It was only a few days though

Your comment that it was only a few days is probably the critical point. Most LAs have an absence threshold below which a parent won't be fined. So a few days may not result in a fine but two weeks is far more likely to lead to a fine.

caughtinanet · 27/02/2019 15:55

Slightly OT but you don't “do” Ebacc so you?

I thought it was a made up name for a specified set of gcses, isn't it largely an irrelevance

Saharafordessert · 27/02/2019 16:12

Absolutely not exceptional circumstances.....simply put you are working abroad and want your family at your side most likely to prop up your mental health.
Your kids, your choice but you seem to take offence when the vast majority don’t agree with you yet you post on a public forum?
Have a great trip anyway.

Sophiathefortyfirst · 27/02/2019 16:15

I'd just take the kids with you and pay the fines! It sounds as though it'd be a great travel opportunity for you all.

Hoppinggreen · 27/02/2019 16:47

We could all agree that your circumstances are so unusual and special that you shouldn’t be fined and it won’t make any difference since LEA’s don’t consult MN before they issue them.
Why do you feel the need for us to agree with you OP? Go, don’t go, have a nice time but be prepared for a fine when you get back

Footle · 27/02/2019 16:53

I'm very glad my parents took us on a 6 month trip abroad to do with their work when I'd just done my O levels. We went to school in the other country and it expanded my mind like nobody's business.

kbPOW · 27/02/2019 17:13

Is your wife a Mumsnetter OP? I would imagine she's a regular.

butterflywings37 · 27/02/2019 17:21

I see why you would take your family as it is a great opportunity, however it isn't exceptional circumstances as your wife and children do not have to go, it is a choice you are making.

So whilst I don't blame you for taking the opportunity, you are not exempt from the rules of being fined.

elliejjtiny · 27/02/2019 18:30

My dh works abroad sometimes. Wouldn't even think to take the dc out of school for that tbh. My 5 year old has regular medical appointments and procedures and the school isn't happy about him having time of school for those. I can only imagine their response if we asked to take him on one of dh's work trips.

Thatsnotmyotter · 27/02/2019 20:33

MNetters are really weird about absences. Go, enjoy, make a family trip of a lifetime out of it. Pay the fine if you have to. Simple.

GreyRoses · 27/02/2019 20:38

Yup. Pay the fine if you have to... but definitely pay the tax you absolutely have to pay.

EggysMom · 27/02/2019 20:44

I don't think you should be fined. However, I'm not a politician, I haven't made the rules, and therefore cannot negate the fine that you will probably receive. That's just the way educational attendance works at the moment.

She [HT] encouraged me to take my child on the trip, noted that it is likely to be highly educational, but conversely said that she would not authorise the absence officially. The whole situation seems quite bizarre frankly.

I interpret that to say that the absence will be recorded as unauthorised and that she cannot influence the LEA decision whether to fine. However she is supportive of the absence, which suggests to me that she will encourage your child's teachers to work with you on the material that your child will be missing, will provide ideas of how your child's education can be continued during the break, and will generally squash any dissenting remarks she hears in her staffroom. I'd say that is pretty good of her.

FamilyOfAliens · 27/02/2019 22:50

Go, enjoy, make a family trip of a lifetime out of it.

Two weeks in Australia a family trip of a lifetime? Hilarious.

Thatsnotmyotter · 27/02/2019 23:43

@Familyofaliens

Was your comment meant to be snobbish?