Opinion please! School absence due to parent working abroad

[TheGreenEye]

I've suffered clinical depression for years, including a couple of suicide attempts. I'm recovering, been back at work about a year without any serious episodes.

Work have assigned me to go to work abroad (as in different continent!) for a fortnight in term time. I'm wary of the effect that might have on my mental health, but there's no-one else can do the work. This is one of the reasons I've decided to take my family with me. Being together as a family is hugely important to us all, we do everything together.

We have never taken an unauthorised term-time holiday before, and likely never will again.

The work trip is last minute (10 days notice) due to financial restraints being lifted after a risk assessment of the alternatives. It will be the trip of a lifetime for my kids. Primary school are supportive "oh yes, you must go!"

The secondary school seem less so and I'm worried we will face a hefty fine on our return.

Guidance on what constitutes "exceptional circumstances" seems difficult to come by.

We've sent a letter from my employers confirming this is work, not pleasure. Is there any other evidence I should be presenting to the school?

@Soaringswallow

I have no words.

@Knitclubchatter

Finally! :)

Yeah, because going back in holiday time when you can participate is actually a good idea!!

“I'm wary of the effect that might have on my mental health, but there's no-one else can do the work. This is one of the reasons I've decided to take my family with me. Being together as a family is hugely important to us all, we do everything together.”

You keep changing the reasons OP, is it for your good or your children’s?

They shouldn’t be taken out of school, you the adult here and should be thinking of them above your needs to have them close.

Or refuse and don’t go if you really need to have them close and two weeks is too much

@Soaringswallow

And you'll be the first contributor on my "GoFundMe" page, am I right?

@JustaGirl

Erm. Both. And I think they should be taken out of school for this, and the fact I get the support I need is more than a bonus.

i'll pay the fine for our differing opinion on what's most important

No. You will be fined for breaching the schools policy, not for disgreeing with me.

That’s why I said my opinion is not relevant. Because I’m not your schools HT.

It’s not a general comment that applies to everything in the world for all time.

Sorry you find this confusing .

Op, it may be exceptional circumstances to you but it isn’t exceptional in the wider meaning of the word. People work abroad all the time. Two weeks is a very short placement and if everyone took their families with them, a lot of schools/education would be disrupted.
Head teachers have clear guidelines around granting leave of absence for good reason. Your wife & children are taking a family holiday, they don’t NEED to travel.

But you have decided the whole family will go, and you accept you will pay the fine.
So go, make the most of your trip and don’t agonise over it too much.

@Imogen

My opinion matters. No ifs, not buts, no sometimes. No "not on this occasion".

Op why ask a question or post on here if you don’t care about anyone’s opinion other than your own? Did you only want supportive pats on the back?

Why would I need to? You're spending £3,500 on flights for your family and the same for accommodation - or is your work paying for your whole family to go? If so, type of work do you do that is so niche that a) nobody else can do it in Australia and b) doesn't pay you enough to afford holidays abroad (not that there's anything wrong with holidays in the U.K., more that it's a very very odd combination) but c) will pay for your whole family to go out for two weeks?

Anyway, regardless of whoever is paying, two weeks in Australia is one week, maybe 10 days. Jet-lag is real!

@SeniorschoolMum

The final two sentences are correct, entirely.

Yet our lives seem to always be blighted by casuistry - and it's often in this form: "Imagine if everyone did it"

It's the weakest of all arguments. It's the equivalent of "if pigs could fly" but people think it has weight for some reason. No action I take would ever make someone else do the same. The fear of imagining the impossible, never mind the unlikely.

My family don't NEED to travel, in that they will more than likely be alive and kicking when I get back, also alive and kicking. I freely admit we are in the realms of WANTS and DESIRES and HOPES rather than NEEDS. As I hope are all your days.

@Soaringswallow

I'm not spending that. Work are.

Just he wants us all to pat him on the back and be jealous (interesting username). Only I'm most definitely not. In that situation I'd be staying home with the kids. But I've done that journey before and chosen not to again for a two week holiday (actual holiday!).

@JustaGirl

I didn't say other opinions didn't matter. I merely stated that mine do. That does not exclude anyone elses opinions from having meaning or credence.

@Soaringswallow

I have green eyes.

It's not exceptional. People go on OS holidays all the time. Maybe you don't, but the fact that you don't doesn't make it exceptional.
I love that you feel the kids will be experiencing a different culture. Unless you're heading outback, we're pretty much the same as you. As for climate, it's hot this week, but in two weeks or so it's probably going to be milder and you would have experienced mid-high 20s in the UK. Nothing exceptional.

@everydaymum

Glad you've been to the UK to compare. I'll see if my daughters think the same. Might ask them to write a "compare and contrast" report...

@TheGreenEye just that you’ll ignore those opinions and do what you feel is best for you, regardless of any issues to your family. Like I said, why bother posting when you don’t want advice?

@Just

I'm entitled to ignore opinions I disagree with. And I didn't ask for advice, I'm after opinions. RTBQ as my Maths teacher used to tell me.

So you didn't really want opinions OP, you just wanted validation. Why ask for opinions then?

@thegreeneye is this not asking for advice??? “We've sent a letter from my employers confirming this is work, not pleasure. Is there any other evidence I should be presenting to the school?”

I will admit that I'm surprised that the vast majority of commenters on here think I should be fined for this. That I do find educational.

Perhaps I'm more independent minded than I thought.

I'll come back on and let you know whether we got fined.

@everydaymum

Wanting to hear opinions is not the same as wanting to agree with them.

It doesn't matter if we agree with you - it's the school's decision, not ours. Schools are under immense pressure to keep attendance rates up, so they don't have much freedom to interpret the rules as they want.

The govt says the school should fine you. The LEA will say the school should fine you. The school is extremely likely to fine you.

Blame the govt/the LEA or whoever you want, but this isn't the kind of unexpected, unavoidable exception to the rule that schools would allow. As much as this is a new experience for you, it's not such an amazingly rare occurrence to make this 'exceptional'. There will be many children at the school who have parents that work away, and they will all be expected to turn up to school as normal.

'Exceptional circumstance' generally get interpreted as a very close family member's funeral far away, or them being close to death. Even a parent's wedding often isn't allowed. Trying to convince us here will make no difference, and no amount of paperwork will make a difference either.

fwiw - I don't agree with the rule, but I have no power to change it.