Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I’ve just just asked DD what the sandwich box and bottle are for in the fridge. It turns out she’s made her first packed lunch ready for school. She doesn’t start till next Tuesday

Well the first week is over - it's gone better than I thought which is a good thing. Even I was surprised at how heavy her bag was tonight though, must have picked up a lot more exercise books today!

DS2 hasn't brought home any books. He hasn't had any homework yet either. Think he's in for a shock next week! He has been getting a different bus to the one I thought he was getting. There'll be people he knows on his allocated bus as everyone from primary has gone on to the same secondary. DS2 is worrying about not going in with his friend. They are both pretty shy and DS2 feels like he'll be abandoning his mate. There's nothing we can do and when his friend gets allocated a bus there's 3 possibles.

DS is surprisingly enjoying it as much as he enjoys any school.
He's also come home and done homework straight away without any fuss, so miracles do happen

We had a bit of a blip on the first evening when he was meant to meet his sister and then she would bring him to the car.
I waited .. and everyone else came and went.
Then dd2 appeared saying he hadn't turned off. So I sent her to the junior side office to see if he'd gone there
Two minutes later Ds appeared saying he'd got lost trying to find her. So he went off to the junior office.
He reappeared saying that they said dd2 had gone to the senior side office to look for him.
So he went off to find her there
They reappeared shortly after, thankfully both thinking it was hilarious.

Tried to get further info out of DS than alright , just got other kids are nice and when I asked has he been talking to boys or girls got told that was a ridiculous question boys of course. DD has moved from an all girls school and on day 1 she said she wasn't going to mix with any boys 😱 . Today she mentioned 3 boys names and that all the girls had had boyfriends, one thing not looking forward to at mixed, she seemed suitably horrified.

Ds still miserable but better I think. He's afraid he won't cope with the work so still anxious and tearful about that. If I wasn't on a night shift I'd definitely be having !

Sorry to hear your ds is so upset, sprouts. Is his worry about not keeping up with the work based on anything? They may have had a lot of so-called motivational talks about school getting serious now they’re at secondary, starting to work towards important exams, etc, which he may have taken to hear a bit too much? I hope you can get to the bottom of it.

I’ve taken dd2 to the netball tryouts this morning, and she met a friend as we arrived so went off happily with friend (and friend’s sister) with barely a backward glance. I’m now sitting in a café blearily having a morning coffee - having to be out of the house by 8am on a Saturday is not my idea of fun!

I’ve just realised I managed to give another mum the wrong phone number (and she even asked me to check she’d got it right! ) to get added onto the WhatsApp year group, so will look like a right numpty when I have to correct that later

Dd2 is coping well overall, but this will be a slow burn, as it always is. I expect there’ll be a few weeks of overtired tears at bedtime, and lots of talking things through, as she processes all the changes.

Perhaps he will find that he is surprised by his ability over the next week or two, sprouts? DD2 is just baffled by everything. She was told to bring her English book home, but didn't have any homework, so is left mystified by what the purpose of bringing the book home was. It's just sat in her bag, ominously

Thanks PermanentPortakabin and Lougle. No, he is a pretty able boy when it comes to literacy and numeracy - can't see he'd have too many problems initially, but he's not got much of a work ethic which I think means he's worried he may not be able to put the effort in! His homework so far has consisted of covering his books and even that got him in a tizz!
He just finds a new thing to worry and fixate on every day. No sooner do we sort one thing than he finds something else. Yesterday was whether he'd be able to get changed for PE and back again in time or be left behind!
Still, he's done all the book covering now, so will plan a couple of little treats this weekend to cheer him up I think....
I'm impressed you've got a year what's app group Portakabin. That sounds like it will be useful!

Dd2 did that on Thursday, lougle. Maths books had to come home, so they did, but for no apparent reason.

Dd2 is Not Happy with how much stuff she has to carry around - her form room is also a maths classroom so she can’t nip in and out easily, so needs to pack ahead for several lessons, and her bag weighs a tonne, apparently (can’t say I noticed much difference from last year, tbh) She was not impressed with my unsympathetic ‘well, you’ll get used to it’, but, well, she will. We’ve all been there.

It will be useful once I manage to give out the right phone number, sprouts

Mind you, I had no idea it was even a thing, it’s only by chance I met this mum who thought to ask if I was in it, so am left with slight last-one-to-be-picked playground feelings .

My dgs started secondary on Wednesday, just Yr7 in then home on Thursday while other years went in and whole school on Friday.
I was immediately struck by the contrast between the child who used to gallop out of primary to greet me and the black clad pre teen who slouched out swapping phone numbers with a group of others.
He loves it so far and is enjoying being,at school with boys he knew from cricket club and football.

My DD started secondary school this week. So far so good. A friend has been dropping her off everyday and she has been walking home with friend's everyday.
I'm very anxious as my DS had an horrendous time when he started high school ( assaulted by older kids on bus within first few months)
I'm very lucky this time though as DD already has quite a few friend's around her, something DS didn't have
She only done lessons properly 4 days in, the rest of the time was spent talking through rules, wellbeing and how to be kind, she also had a whole day of testing
She is loving the independence of walking home and popping into the shops on the way back.
I think this week might be different as the lessons start properly, so will have to see.

DD went out with the new friends today, they've also asked her out all day tomorrow, to gym on Monday and to two clubs on Tuesday. She said one of them got asked out by a boy today. Glad she's made friends but not sure how much going out to agree to, homework club and gym are obviously fine but every waking hour seems too much and not keen on the just hanging round. On other hand good for her to have new friends.

DS2 has come down with a stinking cold and is both over-sensitive and tetchy with it. I'm hoping it doesn't see the return of viral-induced wheeze this year. He has PE tomorrow and Tuesday so I'm expecting a lot of faces and stressy text messages.

Well I thought things were going sort of alright. From about 2pm DD has been vile and goady. She’s now in her room throwing things around and screaming at anyone who comes near. It’s going to be a long evening.

Oh no:(

My DD is also being quite moody, we either have lovely or moody and rude normally directed at me so you have my sympathy.

Things have calmed. It’s been hard and she’s been awful to me in particular but she’s more settled and DH is now reading to her. Yes we still read to her but she has a fair bit of anxiety and it does help to calm her in the evening.

I’ll wait and see what this week brings...

Oh Julie, I hope your DD is OK. It is such a big change for them. They do take it out on those they are most comfortable with, have flowers/gin/chocolate, whatever works my friend!

We badgered DD to do the tiny bits of homework she had today. She lay on the floor, clutching a pen with the book on the floor in front of her and I asked her if she could write neatly in that position. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I was sure I'd done the same thing and heard the same phrase from my own mother. Circle of Liiiiiiife .....

Let's brace for impact for the second week, I hope it goes well.

I think even those who seem to be breezing through this transition will have some emotional/overwhelmed moments throughout this term. DS has certainly been more emotional than normal. He rarely cries but has done so 3 times this week over various non-school related things but I'm sure it's all linked.

He seems ok to go back tomorrow. I've tried today to encourage him to go to chess club on Tuesday but he's not that interested yet. I know at lunchtimes he is sitting with his sister and her friends (not really talking to them though) or wandering around by himself. It would be great if he could try to make friends but being aspergers it isn't a strong suit for him! I'm going to chase the SENCO tomorrow to see if she can give him a helping hand.

Hope she gets to sleep Julie
Calm here. She's done homework and we had a chat about tomorrow's timetable. Keeping things crossed for assessment tests this week!

Things are a bit better with ds. He went to rugby this am - due to changes with having to combine with other teams just as they started secondary and he's a weak player, he's been finding it difficult - but came back much happier. He's had a couple of wobbles but packed his own bag and asked me to wash his PE kit so taking some control. Fingers crossed!
Frayedhem hope your ds feels better tomorrow and JJJ glad things seem calmer - hats off to you reading to dd - what a lovely mum.

DD went off, still being horrid to me but fine with school. DS is still home became hysterical this morning, suspect its homework though asked him on Thursday and Friday and weekend if he needed any help no. Then 8am today starts trying to do it and can't and starts screaming and crying, he's ASD. Phoned school and they were lovely, said to tell him not to worry about homework and just come in late but still here. He's currently not communicating. Poor DH he had me in tears and DS having tantrum.

Oh Penguins and for you all. Hope you can get DS to school.