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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

989 replies

JiltedJohnsJulie · 30/08/2018 17:49

I’ve just just asked DD what the sandwich box and bottle are for in the fridge. It turns out she’s made her first packed lunch ready for school. She doesn’t start till next Tuesday HmmSmile

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Yokohamajojo · 07/09/2018 09:34

My DS is getting on alright, he has missed the bus two days running but can walk it and still be on time! so that's good to know. He had a bit of moaning doing homework yesterday but got it done.

He is also doing football trials today which is a massive thing for him, if he doesn't get into the football team there will be tears

He has sussed out that wearing the lanyard is non-cool and a few other things like playing certain ball games at break is also uncool as is buttoning up your blazer so that's a no no. All and all it has been a good start and I think he is slightly overwhelmed but liking it.

FrayedHem · 07/09/2018 09:40

DS2 hasn't got any books yet. He did lose his bus travel letter (takes a while for passes to come through) and forgot he had spare in his bag, but it was the return journey and the driver let him on. Also made sure he's got some emergency money to buy a ticket.

DS2 loathes English. Utterly loathes it. He's been put in top set which he isn't happy about. I'm assuming they'll rejig sets once they've seen how the pupils actually do. He struggles with writing in the physical sense and coming up with ideas, inferences, depth and producing enough work. Did well on the SATs which i assume is where they are setting from.

purpleshimmer · 07/09/2018 09:58

My poor DS has burst into tears this morning saying he doesn't want to go. It's his fourth day and he's been totally fine so I can't understand it.

He isn't one to cry often either and he won't tell me any specific reason...all he has mentioned is he doesn't like the French teacher. I hope he isn't being bullied.

I've made him go in but I've rang the school and waiting for head of year to call me back.

I hope he is ok Sad

FrayedHem · 07/09/2018 09:59

sproutsandparsnips Sorry your DS is feeling overwhelmed atm. It's a huge change and it's understandable it seems so daunting to him right now. Do contact the school if you feel he could do with an extra-eye on him. I really dithered about contacting DS2's school about him potentially being extra-sensitive/upset after family stuff going on, but they seemed genuinely glad I'd contacted them about it.

Glad the school have been responsive AornisHades. My eldest and third have ASD. I think an understanding school really makes a huge difference. And well done to your DD on managing some of the uniform.

FrayedHem · 07/09/2018 10:01

I hope the school get back to you very shortly purpleshimmer and you can get to the bottom of what the upset is about. Must be a worry, but hopefully it's easily sorted.

Penguinsnpandas · 07/09/2018 10:03

Sorry to hear your DS is struggling Sprouts would let school know. My DS is ASD and not organised at all, the mere thought of organisation sends him in a panic but DD organises him. 😂 She packs both their bags, puts his clothes out, hard to believe they are one year apart.

Gileswithachainsaw · 07/09/2018 10:09

Oh no sorry for all those struggling...

Hopefully some rest and a quiet weekend will help. It must be a big shock and will take some getting used to. Flowers

Titsywoo · 07/09/2018 10:17

I think it's easy to get caught up in the excitement of the idea of moving up to secondary school and forget what a huge change it is for them. Primary is so different and they are very used to it. The first few days of secondary can be very scary although some are excited and then a few days/weeks later the reality sets in! After my DDs first year at secondary I'm very prepared for lots of ups and downs with friendships, homework, detentions, tiredness, exams etc etc.

PermanentPortakabin · 07/09/2018 11:00

A good start to today - dd2 contemplated going in on her own, and was sounding ok with it until the moment came, and then she asked me to come along too. No tears, though, so that’s an improvement. Also good that her form tutor was there, at reception, where she had said she would be (have been there, done that with this scenario before, where school attempt to wean dd2 off needing me by promising X teacher will be there at Y time to escort her, and then not being there).

Dd2 wasn’t exactly relaxed last night, but not too stressed either, which I am taking as a win - it is a huge change, as a PP said, and so coping is a bloody good start.

Dd2 is wondering whether to try out for the netball team - she’s not exactly a brilliant player, but useful enough and enjoys it, and has said she will miss it (prep school played a LOT of sport, and was genuinely all inclusive - played right down to D/E teams so everyone got to play) as there’s not as much timetabled games/PE now. She’s not sure as none of her new-found friends will be going, but we have talked a lot about meeting new people through activities, and eg having netball friends, choir friends, teaching group friends - basically not relying on one person/a few select friends to provide everything, and instead enjoy being herself and having friends in different areas.

I am really impressed by some of your dcs’ organisation and resourcefulness with buses etc. Dd2 might get the bus by the time she’s in sixth form 😀

AornisHades · 07/09/2018 11:01

Oh sprouts and purple that's hard. I know at dd's school they've been laying it on about doing homework immediately, rigourously enforcing uniform and setting expectations. It's going to make a lot of children extremely anxious and if they're struggling with the whole change anyway it must tip some of tbe right over the edge :(

Do get on to the pastoral teams though. I was nervous about making a fuss but it was the right thing to do.

AornisHades · 07/09/2018 11:04

Portakabin dd is similarly bus avoiding. She won't get on one at all. Not even with friends.

Lougle · 07/09/2018 11:23

Oh sprouts and purple it's all so hard. Portakabin it sounds like your DD2 is getting to grips with it.

DD2 wanted to get the bus from a different location today (the location I advised her to catch it from in the first place) but she wasn't going to mention it to her neighbour (typical passive approach from her). I told her she can't do that, and she needed to tell her what she was doing!

I'll be glad when she's been there a month.

FrayedHem · 07/09/2018 12:17

Had an upset DS2 texting to say he's been allocated a different bus to the one he's been getting with his friend. TBH the bus he's been allocated is the one I thought he was getting on so I'm a bit mystified but he'd not charged his phone so I'll wait until he gets home. His friend lives in the next road but they were late applying so he's paying to get the bus atm. The buses are capacity so I've no idea what will happen to his friend if his transport isn't sorted soon.

AngeliqueDePeyrac · 07/09/2018 12:34

lougle i think our DDs may go to the same school. Is it in Hampshire??

BlueChampagne · 07/09/2018 12:50

Thanks Cedar03 he came home bouncing around, so I think he's made a good start, and I'm proud that he managed to cope in adversity (and told him). I did show him Google Maps on his phone as a precaution, but apparently he didn't need to use it.

BlueChampagne · 07/09/2018 12:53

Hi Aornis do I dectect a fellow Jasper Fforde fan?

AornisHades · 07/09/2018 13:00

Blue indeed you do Grin

Frayed poor ds. A busload of strangers is another hurdle to manage :(

Lougle · 07/09/2018 13:04

Yes, Angelique. How is your DD doing?

bellinisurge · 07/09/2018 13:07

We got through day 1. Start of day 2 was a bit emotional. So proud of dd getting into it. Week 1 nearly over.

AngeliqueDePeyrac · 07/09/2018 15:52

Hi lougle guess it is the same school then 😃. Shes really enjoying it so far and will start getting the bus from next week. Had a fallout with her friend mid week which was v stressful but that seems to be sorted now so fingers crossed. Hope your DD enjoys it too. It is a big change for them all.

Gileswithachainsaw · 07/09/2018 16:16

Well dd had a really good day apparently. She's a bit tired but enjoyed herself and they colour coded their timetables apparently Hmm

She's looking forward to pe on Monday

Penguinsnpandas · 07/09/2018 16:18

Just had second day report. DS said OK, DD I've had 40 minute breakdown 😂

Dd says she's made 3 friends, now has a timetable, is in top set everything including PE, has been put in French which is great as she did French last year and has her and her brothers cards to pay for things. She's been invited on a meet up with 2 other girls who live by us tomorrow.

Lougle · 07/09/2018 17:42

Ooh I wonder if they're in the same form class? A 1 in 10 chance Grin I'm glad she's enjoying it. Has she come from quite a big school? DD2's primary was really tiny, so it's a huge transition in that respect. I'm sure her friendship fallout will be temporary.

AornisHades · 07/09/2018 17:44

Today was "OK".
For dd that's good! She's even spoken to a teacher in the first lesson with them which rarely happens. This has exceeded my wildest hopes Grin and Wine

sproutsandparsnips · 07/09/2018 18:07

Thank you all for your kind and helpful words, it's helping me as I'm not used to this! Just going to see ds at my in laws as I'm nights atm and they are kindly looking after the dc so I can sleep, and I will see how today went.

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