Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I’ve just just asked DD what the sandwich box and bottle are for in the fridge. It turns out she’s made her first packed lunch ready for school. She doesn’t start till next Tuesday

Brilliant advice Trampire!

Helpful tips thank you. My eldest is going to secondary on Weds. He is so excited! He's very sociable and academically able, I think that helps him not feel nervous. It seems like a good school but I have bad memories of secondary. He such a lovely, innocent boy; I feel like he's going to change overnight! Finally got him a phone this week, which we'd been holding off until the last moment, obviously he loves having that too!

Thanks for the tips Trampire. They are really good

Your DC sound lovely! I love getting new year 7s in.

Lurked and the popped in to echo what some posters have said about friends, some try to stick like glue to primary friends but remember there's some children who are the only one from.their primary and they have nobody. We remind all the children of that on transition day and on the first day and encourage them to say hi and introduce themselves if they see someone on their own. Being on duty, most of them do and it's really nice when they bring their new friends to say hi to their teacher.

Of course that disappears in 6 weeks but it's a beautiful term

And as a teacher, if you have concerns about how they're settling, always call up for a chat if you think it's more than normal nervousness. We want them to be happy too so if we can do something we will.

Jilted thanks for starting this thread.

I started a thread a few days ago asking for advice to help my anxious dd. There are some great tips here

Any tips on where to buy a plain black rucksack? Thanks.

Linda Stade writes brilliantly about how to help children who suffer with anxiety and also friendship issues.

5 Truths About Friendship that Will Save Your Children a Lot of Grief

What You Need to Know about Girls and Their Frenemies

Kids are Hardwired to be Negative

That’s so sweet *Maisy’ I will definitely ask DD to say Hi to anyone on their own

American so sorry your DD is anxious. We had more shouting last night again although DH really doesn’t help the situation.

No idea on the plain black rucksack. Is that something school insist upon?

What are the rules @ Americans? My Ds has a mostly black Adidas one from sports direct z if you are in fb might be worth asking local people as most the children at my ds’s have Nike or Adidas.

Just to say, we got a black Adidas one from Sports direct. Fairly plain.

Ds1 starts secondary on Tuesday. We've got a plain black tracksuit to get, and a watch as none of the clocks work at school!

American- we got a completely black bag from M&S.

I've a couple of tips

1. Remind your child not to be negative about others e.g. Emma asks Jane what do you think of Daisy? Jane replies - she seems a bit full of herself. next thing you know Emma will have reported it back to Daisy. A non committal answer - 'she seems OK, I don't really know her' is much safer, especially initially.

2. Discuss what is acceptable to buy from the school canteen. We have a rule no buying drinks as before you know it, it becomes an everyday habit. Fine if you don't mind, but an easy way to spend £5+ extra per week.

1) Remind your child not to be negative about others e.g. Emma asks Jane what do you think of Daisy? Jane replies - she seems a bit full of herself. next thing you know Emma will have reported it back to Daisy. A non committal answer - 'she seems OK, I don't really know her' is much safer, especially initially.

Yes this is great advice!

We have a saying in our house - "it's nice to be nice"
I've always taught my dd to be as pleasant as possible to everyone as you never know where future friends will come from.
She's managed well to (not yet) be drawn into any friendship dramas or fallouts. In fact, many of her friends from different 'groups' come to her for chats when they've fallen out with others. I sometimes worry that she's just seen as a counsellor but she's happy with her friendships.

In y8 she found a good friend that she thought she really disliked in Y7. Turns out she just didn't know her properly.

1) Remind your child not to be negative about others e.g. Emma asks Jane what do you think of Daisy? Jane replies - she seems a bit full of herself. next thing you know Emma will have reported it back to Daisy. A non committal answer - 'she seems OK, I don't really know her' is much safer, especially initially.

Teentimes - great advice. This area of social interaction is so important but rarely discussed.

DD is going selective so I think she will be in for a bit of a shock when she no longer comes top in everything. Otherwise she appears to be quite relaxed, occasionally pausing to tell me there are things like gel pens she 'needs' for her school

American I got Nike -plain black rucksack for dd. Super Dry has a few but dd wasn't keen on any of them.
Making notes of all the tips.

I was thinking about this thread when I saw a black rucksack in Tesco today! Although it did have a stitched pattern of stars on it and a pink star keyring which could be removed.

We are still gathering items for school, keep going through the lists to make sure I haven't missed anything!

If you have to get a plain black one look to putting something on it that will make it stand out when they're all grabbing their bags in a hurry. Doesn't have to be big, nametape in an obvious but unusual place will do.

That’s great advice. Thanks Teen. That’s something else I’ll discuss with DD tomorrow

I have one starting Friday...

I can't help but feel I've forgotten something...

Do we name stuff still? Or is that not the done thing?

I bought some pilot frixon lens but I'm not Impressed. What pen writes nicely ?

What lunch box ?

I'm naming everything Giles but just with a sharpie on the label

Not sure re pens - I just give them biros or ballpoints as the decent stuff goes "missing" I've found.

Two days until they are back here. Feeling a tad nervous (DS isn't though!).

Sharpie is my preferred method so all good

Mine is starting tomorrow and is starting to get nervous. Nearly all his Y6 class are going with him and he's in the same form as two of his best friends, but there have been all sorts of friendship dramas last term which are still rumbling on (his best friend was bullied by a former friend and most of the group have sided with the bully), so I'm a bit worried that he'll get sucked into that. He's a bit quirky and socially awkward, and he never quite found his tribe at primary - he could really do with finding another few kids with the same interest as him.

Will they need to take stuff like PE kit in on the first day? We've got it all ready and named, but the potential for him to get in a flap and lose the lot is significant!

DS1 starts on Thursday; he's a late August baby and not going up with his primary school peers, so he's a bit nervous. However, he will talk the hindleg of a donkey to anyone, so I think once he gets started he'll be OK socially. Organisation and time-keeping are not his strong points though.

He's just practised the bus route again with his granny and used his bus pass for the first time. I've just put together a zip lock back with emergency bus money and a note to say how far it will get him; just buying a weekly pass as it will be less financially painful -if- when it gets lost.

He has also been practising letting himself into the house and locking up. Keys on chain that he can clip to a belt loop and put in his pocket.

I woke up early this morning worrying about everything going wrong .

He has Sen’s and finds change difficult. I have done as much as I can to prepare . I am sure my anxiety will get worse.

We have been out and bought a lovely backpack today, the day before school starts we head out to a large mall, browse round and have lunch McDonalds but lunch sounds better and then come home.

DD did a practice walk to the bus stop on her own and back this morning, that went OK. The nerves are beginning to kick in a bit now though. Will pack her bag later and make sure she has a relaxed, lovely evening.

Iron on name labels always come off for me, a biro or sharpie works much better IMO!