Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I’ve just just asked DD what the sandwich box and bottle are for in the fridge. It turns out she’s made her first packed lunch ready for school. She doesn’t start till next Tuesday

Penguinsnpandas Hope you and DS are ok. Sounds like the school are understanding which is half the battle.

Dropped DS2 off at the bus stop as he was all stressy and dosed up on ibuprofen. His friend's family were texting me trying to convince me DS2 should get the old bus with friend. Wtf. I was getting pretty irritated in the end.

My dd has a back to school cold. Not great when she is already having to steel herself to go in.

Your poor boy Penguins :(
Can you give him an hour or so to calm down and get him in for a while at least? Dd often responds if I give her a clear plan when she's melting down.

Thanks very much. He seems to be better being left alone, he's OK if you talk about not school but not if you talk about school so just leaving him here. Ideally he would go in later but wonder if he's scared he will be in trouble. Have explained its OK but will just let him stay here, think he may need rest more than school today. DH is popping back at lunchtime. Glad school are OK with it.

Sorry to hear that penguins

And sorry for all those who had such a stressful morning.

God they are just getting used to things and people are already Interfering? Ffs for you!

Mine has a cold as well. Has also caused an upset this morning by somehow failing to meet his friend, who waited ages for him. He left here on time and I reminded him that they were meeting, so I don't know what happened, but friend's mum is not happy. Will text him at break time to clarify and make sure he apologises.

penguins glad DS is feeling a bit better. DS1 (he also has ASD) gets caught in an internal battle between not wanting adjustments but not coping without them. Can take a little time to strike the right balance, a cliche but has truth - it's a marathon not a sprint.

Oop spiderlight. It's easy to just go into autopilot. I hope things are o.k. with his friend and they can come to an agreement that if not there by x time the other will go ahead.

DS2's bus journey is all of about 5 minutes long! It would be nice if they could travel together and friend may get allocated the same bus once his application has been processed.

DS didn't moan about going in this morning and I heard back from the SENCO finally who is emailing all his teachers saying he can use his laptop for larger pieces of writing. She is also going to talk to him about the lunchtime room they have for any kids with SN or who are struggling to cope with the crowds/older kids etc at lunchtime. They can eat lunch there and bring a friend if they want to plus there are games etc to keep them busy. I'm hoping he will go as he might make friends there. He has shown no interest so far in getting to know his class mates.

DH has come home and said he has had a call from school saying we have to take him in now. DH told him and he started screaming and crying and locking himself in a room. DH says he's not taking no for an answer but think would be better to wait for tomorrow.

Called school and they were nice but saying its unauthorised absence and they may send someone round and we should send him to school screaming and crying. Not sure that will help anything.

Penguins what do they think that's going to achieve?! Poor lad. I hope you've managed to calm him down now :(

Being cynical their unauthorised absence figures - they did say the more it happens the harder it gets which I know is true but he's ASD new school, new house, no friends, no SENCO support and he coped fine first two days. He's OK here now but I told DH I am not carrying him in screaming and crying. Tomorrow he needs to go but we can sort his homework etc this evening once he's calmer. He's just come out of hiding now DH has gone.

Oh dear, I'm sorry, penguin that's hard.

I'm tempted to say he's got a cold if it ever happens again, probably was too honest today. He's rarely done this in the past and primary were fine with it.

DH went to school to chat with them and then came back and tried to get DS in again. So he locked himself in room. Told DH to leave it, it won't even count as attendance at 2pm, so he's gone off and DS is now out of room but not talking. His sister is really good with him though I'm 95% certain its art homework which has triggered this. His old school did let him leave the classroom when he needed to though. He had a full time TA in y4 so he's come a long way, just hope he doesn't go back, needs to be handled delicately.

Phew - I'd totally misinterpreted the other mum's text this morning. I thought she was saying that my DS had gone another way and left hers waiting, but it turns out that they'd all met up as normal and decided to go the other way (which involved coming back past our house) to avoid a kid who'd hit one of them on Friday, and she was just trying to ask me if I could catch them going past to remind her DS about something, but she explained it all a bit strangely. It's been one of those days!

Penguins I hope your DS goes in OK tomorrow. It must be so overwhelming for him and he'll be exhausted from all the upset today.

Oh dear, sorry the school went hard-ball Penguins. I hope you're able to work out a plan with DS for returning tomorrow and the school are helpful.

DS2 left the bag with his trainers and football boots in school. FFS. It was attached to his main bag, but ripped and became unattached and in his haste to get the bus forgot about it. I stayed calm and found out how he goes about hopefully getting them back. He has PE again tomorrow, but I don't have time to go and get more. We didn't buy fancy ones but they weren't pennies either. He could take his other trainers in but they were a birthday present and rather £££ so I'm not really keen on that idea.

He hated PE as predicted as they were made to run around the field twice. This really is not his thing!

Glad the mystery of DS and his friend is solved spiderlight. They sound sensible in avoiding the one that hit one of them, not that should be having to consider that sort of thing in the first place though.

We've had a horrible bullying situation rumbling on since Easter, Frayed, so sadly my DS's group are well-practised in avoidance strategies :( Hoping the new school will be a bit more proactive in sorting it out than the primary was!

I'm not sure whether it's worse for the children or the parents when they move up a stage! Certainly at our school there are lots of parents who are feeling like they are trying to keep up with all the different expectations and systems that are put in place. DD2 is happy for now, although I'm expecting more wobbles once homework starts.

So do schools hand out some kind of home school diary planner or do parents have to buy them?

Glad that's sorted Spider

DD now home, she's fine just tired. She was a bit shocked about her brother. I explained school had said he could have a y8 buddy who accompanies him everywhere and she said I think that should be me, she's in y8. Hope he's going in tomorrow. I have told him he's going in to pre warn him, he seems OK now but won't communicate about school.

Gileswithachainsaw they all do it differently. At DS1s school they have an app that the teachers list the homework on. The kids have a version where they record when they have completed it and the parents a version where they can see what needs to be done and for when and if anything is overdue. Seems to be working so far amd saves me relying on DS writing things down.

So she's not just been forgetful?

Brilliant.thanks

DS2's planner is more like a filofax. DS1 has a planner at his school but I've never seen it! All DS1's homework is online not that he does it but I don't think DS2's school has any online facility so he will need to write his down in his planner.