Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I’ve just just asked DD what the sandwich box and bottle are for in the fridge. It turns out she’s made her first packed lunch ready for school. She doesn’t start till next Tuesday

red we don't have to worry till next year but will probably do cinema/ meal. This year we booked Go Ape.

There seem to be a lot of dramas going on in dd's year at the moment. People being unkind to each other and arguing and asking each other out. Luckily dd hasn't been involved so far. My year 10 dd at the same school is in a group of friends that aren't argumentative and aren't dating yet and i hope things will settle down in year 7 dd's year soon too, or at least that she will manage to continue not getting involved!

Sounds like the little group dd knew are going off without her now so she's struggling and people are noticing she's 'odd'. Feeling very down this week. In to see school tomorrow at their request...

Sorry to hear that. Could she go to the library if she feel like she's standing out to give her a break from the crowds and so she has something to do. Or join a club.

Sorry to hear that Aornis hope school can help with a solution and your DD becomes happier.

There was constant drama in DDs year 7 class last year, all petty, but constant squabbling Aventurine If you can keep her out of it that's good. Clubs can sometimes help as there's an adult but think some kids just like drama, suspect DD is one of them.

DS had another good day with 1-2-1 so has it again tomorrow. He did 2 lessons with class today and rest in support hub. Not sure how long they can keep this up without an EHCP but its a good start and we'll apply for one. In past he hasn't needed long term TA but secondary in a new area is harder than primary. Found out their old primary Head has left immediately for personal reasons. Last one left immediately for personal reasons. They are about to get 5th Head in 6 years.

The Head has sent lovely reply but denying they lost him. He says he was alone and DD says she was told he was lost 55 minutes after he says he left so . They agree with time he left.

That's a whole pile of arse covering there Penguins

Dd could go to inclusion but she has taken a dislike to it for some reason

I suspect so Aornis - nothing happened that day apparently but suddenly next day they went from having no money to a full-time 1-2-1 for no reason. Quite surprised the Head admitted in writing they send him home unofficially and they plan to continue it.

Clubs can be good if you can persuade her to go to one or two - at least there are adults to referee the drama. Though in our case it was all night on WhatsApp and this was at all girls super-selective grammar.

My team-sport-hating, PE-kit-losing DS has decided he’s going to try the rugby club as he’s actually been enjoying it in PE lessons!

DD2's had a better couple of days at school. After taking her in on Monday, she's been spending some time with the inclusion TAs at lunch time and has been able to see the school dog a couple of times, which really boosts her self-esteem. She's also got back in touch with a girl who she was friendly with from the year above who left the school last year to go to secondary, who also has some additional needs, which is nice for her, as she missed seeing her.

Oh but that happens all the time Penguins! Schools have 121 TAs just crying out to be used...

Dd has joined one lunchtime club because her friends were going. She missed it this week due to upset.

Dd has a trainee teacher for Maths I think apart from two lessons a fortnight. A more experienced teacher is in the classroom a lot with them and her name isn't on the staff list as a teacher. Dd said she gave her a big telling off for talking and threatened to tell her form tutor when she definitely hadn't been talking. I did believe dd. Dd didn't answer back and just took it which i think is right as it could have escalated and she could have got into more trouble. I hope it doesn't happen again. I suggested if it does to go up at the end of the lesson and politely say that when she was told off she hadn't been talking. Maybe it's just a one off mistake. Hope so

DD went to a friend's birthday treat the other day. It was a trip to the cinema.

For DD's 11th birthday we did film at home with pizza tea. We'll see what she wants to do next year for her 12th.

She is still enjoying school. There does seem to be more gripes/complaints among the girls now (it is a girls school). I think that is because their early 'be as nice as you can to everyone' attitude is starting to wear off.

Aornis maybe try to encourage your daughter to try another club as well. My DD started off saying she wasn't going to do any clubs but she's started going to a couple in recent weeks.

The Head has sent lovely reply but denying they lost him. He says he was alone and DD says she was told he was lost 55 minutes after he says he left..

How do they explain asking your dd if she knew where he was then? If they didn't know where he was then they'd lost him in my mind.
If they did know where he was then why were they asking your dd?

It reminds me of something my head used to say he was taught in the RAF/army "Man is never lost. Simply uncertain of his position on planet Earth".

Penguin I am also a bit at the 'not lost' bit. I would be tempted to put in writing that I disagree (even if you add that you won't take it further just now) because it really does sound as if they didn't know where he was!

DD is doing OK, she's not been well again but the school have been helpful. I hope she's OK today. At least we've got the weekend and then it's only a few days before half-term!

I agree the response from the Head is baffling Penguins. DS1 was lost at his first primary school for about 10-15 mins (he got locked outside when rest of the school was in assembly(!)) and when the SENCo found out she said they had to report it the LA, which the said they did though I never heard anything.

DS2 had a whole class bowling party for his Yr6 birthday. I shan't be doing the same for his next one! Maybe bowling with a couple of mates and I'll lurk in the background as we aren't really near anywhere they can easily get to.

DS2 is off again, really rough. I'm thinking I should ring the GP to find out if I need an appt to get the blood test form, which I think is what they will say I need to do. Thinking about it, it would have been easier to give it to me at the time.

Frayed you should just be able to request the blood test form and pick it up from reception.
Our local hospital has an adult drop in blood test place which is brilliant-the paediatric had a wait of 2 weeks and the GP's practice nurse (only one qualified to do a paed one) went off sick on the day ds was due for one.
I went to the adult drop in (for 11yesrs +), and we waited not more than 10 minutes to be seen and they were lovely with him. Only thing was they don't have the numbing spray the children's do (ds is allergic to magic cream, but is brilliant about having blood tests) and they looked at ds and said "not sure we can do him, he's a little one" and he was very indignant.

I agree that getting the bloods done would be the best idea Frayed

Meeting with school today and we're at a bit of an impasse. Dd can't do what they want. They won't budge any further. I don't have a magic wand. I have a horrible feeling we are heading towards school refusal or them admitting defeat. The words 'specialist school' were used.

Witchend The e-mail implied she had imagined it. I will get back to Head as DS also says he was alone and I can't see them both having imagined it but at least they have put support in place last 3 days.

Aornis So sorry to hear about meeting and them mentioning special school. That's my fear too as the education in them is dire. Maybe worth trying your LEA Send team to see if they have ideas and I would investigate other local schools as a backup. I presume your DD has an EHCP.

The e-mail implied she had imagined it.
That is odd to imply. Misunderstood, possibly, but imagined, no! I can see where they could claim misunderstood situation-eg one teacher goes to ask her not knowing he's watched by another teacher.

It would be especially odd for her to have imagined it and him to have imagined he was alone on the same day at the same time. Unless maybe they're suggesting they have superpowers of telepathy or something.

OMG are they from Midwich!!!

Got a call yesterday from school saying worried DD self harming as she had asked for a plaster and said she had fallen into wall at school but wouldn't show cut. Thought that's odd as she's very happy atm. She told me she had fallen before school and made up story about it happening at school as she thought they wouldn't give plasters for out of school. Plus was on her hip so can see why she didn't want to show it. But gosh wish she wouldn't make things up, its just started since we moved here, maybe village life is too dull.

Today get another call from school saying 2 kids reporting she's self harming as cuts on her arm. The lady said she had questioned her and DD said its our cat. Lady asked if that was likely, I said its very likely with our cat and she's happy. Asked DD. She explained I opened a massive tin of spaghetti. The cat got very excited thinking it was a massive tin of tuna for her. Then the cat realised it wasn't and attacked me. DS said he witnessed it.

Imagined it? Bloody Hell.

No, no EHCP. Too bright. We're fighting to even get them to assess. So she can't go to a special school even if we wanted her to. She's in her room in tears and I'm in the kitchen in tears. They're the best local mainstream school for SEN and we had to fight to get her in. She's so sad and I don't know what to do.

So can see why they are skeptical about DD but DS is saying the same plus DDs account is staying consistent and timings add up, she's a really terrible liar. She phoned me worried as soon as school ended and said this lady was searching toilets for him, 55 mins after he left. He is always honest.

Are they putting any support in place for her Aornis? I phoned the LEA SEND team when our school was being a bit clueless and they kickstarted help. You can get Ed Psych report done, specialist teacher service in for advice, adjustments - mine has no consequences for homework and they should be agreeing to EHCP assessment, brightness shouldn't be a factor. My DS was voted brightest kid in the class at his last school and they are trying for one. If she does school refuse it may help your case though not ideal. I found SEND number on my council's exclusions page.

Is there anything in particular. I would just give her a hug and say you will find a solution. It is hard though as bright kids are only catered for in mainstream or private at very expensive cost. Funding has been cut to the bone for schools. Sendiass can also help. Or try complaints procedure. I did everything, its so time consuming though as well as frustrating. There's also home ed but I am not sure about that for us at least, in an emergency I would but only a last resort if special school only option.