Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I’ve just just asked DD what the sandwich box and bottle are for in the fridge. It turns out she’s made her first packed lunch ready for school. She doesn’t start till next Tuesday

That sounds awfully unfair Spider

We are getting lots of I know better than the question type answers like one question was what is the probability of the sun coming up every morning and the answer was certain. But DS is arguing it should be very likely as at some point the sun will explode.
I think our ds' would get on very well (unless they disagreed on the right answer, although the debate would be interesting )

Thanks. I am talking to the LA and the school and up until today it was the LA being much more helpful than the school. The LA are phoning me with updates and got in touch with school to say about help they should be providing. Complaint to Head seems to have got things shifted too. The issue with me doing EHCP was school were offering zero support before and you have to prove its beyond school support. In our old area that meant first 15 hours / first £6k. LA confirmed its similar there and school should be putting support in now. School are starting to do this and apologised for not doing it sooner. They are doing needs assessment and applying for TA funding. They have said they will continue sending him home which is not ideal but they have no staff to keep him safe if he runs off. So I won't be getting a new job anytime soon.

They phoned tonight to suggest reduced timetable for 2 days and rest of time doing what he wants at school. Told DS and not impressed look. Told DD and got that's so unfair I am going to throw 60 tantrums so I get that. 😂 That made him smile and she won't do that. They are trying to get Ed Psych in. DS says there's no one like him at school and it looks like SN children mainly go to other schools here but the good one is 30 mins drive and I don't drive.

Witches & Penguins that sounds like dd too. She took issue with solar energy being described as 'will never run out'

Pick up surprisingly calm. They'd given her a detention and in telling her about it had caused her to miss her club and then because she was upset part of the next lesson. The detention was for something she couldn't help (not answering questions mid meltdown) yesterday so it seems unfair to punish her for it without giving her a chance to answer when calm.

I think we may be at the reduced timetable soon Penguins too. The PE meltdowns must be grating on them by now.

Witchend We have a nightmare with comprehensions when DS decides he knows better than the author and the questions are phrased as why do you think? They then get a A4 page of what DS thinks. 😎 Had to tell him today just give the answer you think they want.

DS1s Yr6 teacher once set homework entitled "Why should Mr X bother to waste his time teaching us". Ds1 wrote the required 300 on words on how it was his (the teacher's job) and did he want to get sacked and end up unemployable and homeless. Children are known to be annoying as children are childish. Why be surprised etc.

We sent in with a note saying we felt DS1 had missed the point, but if they had a problem with the content to take it up with us. The teacher did actually take it ok and said that it was a logical response. (Ds1 wasn't actually in class for the incident that the teacher lost his shit at them and set the work).

DS2 is home today. Antibiotics have upset his stomach and he's pretty washed out. He is worried about missing school and getting shouted at which has been happening to some pupils in his mentor group. I've told him if he gets any bother to text me and I'll have A Word.

DD1 completely lost it this morning and started sobbing about seeing some girls from her old school (who weren't particularly great to her). I sussed out that it was a cover for her main worry, which is the level of homework she's getting. In the end I took her to school with the intention of speaking to the SENCO, but she wasn't available, then neither was her form tutor, or her Deputy Head of Year (who apparently is meant to be the person you go to with pastoral issues). In the end a nice TA took her into school and later phoned me. She said that DD2 "was smiling" (not always a good sign for her!!) so I could be reassured. She did say that 20 minutes should be enough for homework and if it's too hard I should make a note in the app and say she's not doing it.

So far, I've been persevering and it's been taking hours to do homework, so I'm going to bear that advice in mind.

Sorry to hear your DS is unwell with the antibiotics Frayed and sorry he's worried about missing school. Sometimes the doctors can give different types of antibiotics which give less of a reaction.

Sorry your DD is worried about homework Lougle, mine has almost nothing but last year got 2 hours a night at a grammar and it was terrible. I complained, as did others, and it got massively cut back.

Had call from school saying DD hurt herself on a wall and they asked her if she self harmed. She said no and I would bet money on that being a impress my friends with a fancy gymnastics manoeuvre but forget there's a wall in the way cut.

Sendiass called back to say to refuse unofficial exclusions. School are giving DS 1-2-1 in room today, DS wasn't keen but its worth a try. Its 1.23pm and he's still there at least.

Boo - DS is stuck in set 2 until the next assessment. Head of Y7 didn't know anything about the nosebleed in his maths assessment and is going to talk to his teacher about it but apparently his English assessment was fractionally below the level for Set 1 as well, which is a complete shock to us. Apparently Set 1 is completely full anyway and she wouldn't be able to move him up in light of the nosebleed factor without moving someone else down, so that's that until December. She's going to ask the teachers to go through his papers with him and show him where he lost marks, and also have a chat with him herself about what he needs to do to get back up. Says it will be good for him in the long run, which I agree it will, but he's going to be devastated. It will hopefully put a rocket under him though and get him working a bit harder, because he's always had a tendency to cruise a bit.

spider sorry about your DS. My DD was nearly in tears the other day as she got a B+ not an A. She needs to learn that she can't always be best in everything.

Could you point out to him that lots of kids would be delighted to be in set 2 to try and change how he views it? I tend to say things like that to mine to put it in perspective

spider sorry to hear that your DS is so upset but it could also be because of the number of students - perhaps in Primary your son was more of a big fish in a small pond and it's different now with so many more students. He might be cruising or there might just be lots of very bright children in his year. AFAIK, DD's school sets for maths but that's it so far

He's definitely been cruising in a very small pond - hopefully this will be a useful wake-up call for him, and I totally agree that being in set 2 is not even remotely the end of the world. He is a very, very sensitive and emotional lad though, and he takes everything to heart, while simultaneously being adamant that nothing is ever his fault! Wish me luck when he gets home

I don't think DS school set for anything in y7 though only got kids word for that. DD should be in top set everything but as they forgot she was arriving they had to put her in middle set for 2 subjects as top was full and they would have had to move her down. She took it well saying I can bum around in 2 subjects but I wasn't overly impressed. She thinks they adjust at half term.

Just had 2 messages from school saying DS is talking to staff today and having a good day so 1 on 1 seems to be working.

I get the impression they set quite heavily in DD2's school, which is good for her. Certainly, having seen the homework of another child, it's a whole gulf away from hers in maths, which is a great relief!

Only 2 weeks until half-term, here.

I hope DS takes the news ok spiderlight. DS2 tells me that Set 2 are ahead of them in English as his set has more disruptive pupils in it. The teacher split up the 4 main talkers but now they have conversations across the room and it's worse than before(!)

Glad DS is having a better day Penguins.

DS2 is seeming a bit better. Not sure about tomorrow, I think he could do with another day but will see how he is in the morning.

Well, that went sort of OK. Major major tears and then a calm chat. I've booked a couple of sessions with a maths tutor to see if there are any gaps that can be addressed and he's going to do a bit more reading and writing at home and a bit less YouTube. The head of maths came to see him this afternoon and is going to arrange a time to go through the maths assessment with him. The head of Y7 promised on the phone to have a chat with him tomorrow and he's going to ask her where he went wrong with the English assessment, because he was so sure he'd done well in that.

I live in a super-selective grammar area and even they are careful with pupils when they start, because they know that they may have breezed through Primary but it's very different when the top few percent are gathered together - someone is always going to be bottom and if that person used to be near the top it's going to be hard on them! Secondary schools are so much larger nowadays.

We have a nightmare with comprehensions when DS decides he knows better than the author and the questions are phrased as why do you think? They then get a A4 page of what DS thinks
Wouldn't get that from ds. He might tell me what a rubbish question it was but when it comes to writing it's the minimal words possible.

Spider that sounds so hard. I hope it encourages him, for ds it would probably demotivate him and then he'd find he could cruise and enjoy it and before you could blink he'd be cruising at the bottom of the second set.

It seems a silly system to rearrange them so frequently. I'd have thought very unsettling. It's not just a case of change forms. It's new teachers, new class, new timetable, catching up/redoing work...

what are you guys doing about birthday parties?
last few we had 5-6 kids at home for games & cake. but I wonder if that's too childish.

@Witchend I know - I'm really unhappy about it :( Hoping it will act as a kick up the backside for him because he really does prefer his old set.

Red I've got a 14 year old. Her friends aren't the cool crowd so i don't know what the cool kids do, but cheaper birthday options (what we do) is have friends over for a bbq or pizza and then they just play video games/hang out/watch a film. More expensive options that people do is Thorpe Park, Bowling, trampoline park, cinema and meal

When i say Thorpe Park i mean any theme park with rides. Depends where you live obviously

*red" dd loves a pizza out and a sleepover for a few friends. Tesco vouchers and a Netflix sub make it lovely for everyone 😊