Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I’ve just just asked DD what the sandwich box and bottle are for in the fridge. It turns out she’s made her first packed lunch ready for school. She doesn’t start till next Tuesday

So after the teacher told him everything was wrong did he get hysterical or something? I wonder how long they tried to calm him down before calling if so

I've just looked back over the thread and seen your DS is ASD. Mine is as well and I'd be very concerned that they were able to manage his needs if they just sent him home like that unless something extreme had happened - in which case I would expect an immediate explanation!

PS. I can sympathise with him about how infuriating it must have been doing the right thing, then the boy telling him it was wrong, so redoing it and the teacher telling him it was all wrong!

DH said they said he was in a funny mood in following English lesson too and seemed to be still upset about French so they sent him home. He seems extremely happy at home though which is not a good sign. Argh! I have sent an e-mail to senco, don't mind him home today but don't want this as a regular thing plus would like to know exactly what happened. Sometimes he will growl, would imagine something like that.

That sounds strange. Normally they'll do anything to keep him in.

If he's anything like my ds he'd promptly decided that was a good idea so he could come home.

DS2's PE Dept have sent out an email setting out what is expected for kit etc. If they find lost kit they wash and return to the mentor room, but it has to be labelled to be able to do that. I think that's actually quite nice, there's no way my secondary would have washed kit! I think they are giving a fair amount of leeway atm, but I do know some of his primary classmates have had a group detention at break and a couple of sendings out in other lessons.

That does seem strangely managed by the school penguins especially as they wanted you to send him in on Monday when he was so upset. I hope the SENCo is responsive. DS1 used to growl, it was at himself IYKWIM but it used to scare the TAs in primary.

DS2 seems to be fairly happy atm. He has said the behaviour on the bus is awful though. Fortunately it's just a short journey.

Oh penguins . I am sending and a few prayers.

That's what my DS is like too Witchend he has form for deciding things are a good idea based on favourable consequences. At primary he asked me how many things would a person need to do to get thrown out of school and how many have I done?

No response from school yet. I tried to make home unappealling by playing a French alphabet song for babies but he said the French teacher played the exact same one. Now he's giggling away. Argh! I on antibiotics so not really feeling up to making it a boring environment and even when you do he often still prefers home. Trying to chase a locker at least.

DD said they have her in mid set French as they forgot she was coming and there's no space in top set, she came top of her London grammar in French last year with 96% in end of year test and DH is French. So hope they move that. Work have said I can go back to work though which is good.

Senco replied to say sorry they did this, he doesn't know why but has passed it on to someone who hopefully will know. He's also getting a strategy put in place. He's giggling away here.

Hope the strategies are in place quickly and all the relevant staff are aware of them Penguins.

DS2 is complaining about a sore back again. His bag is pretty light as he's not got any books, but he does have weird shoulders (think maybe hyper mobile) so maybe just carrying a bag around all day is causing it. They don't have lockers at the school so there isn't a solution to that.

Bit annoying that you can't get to the bottom of it all penguin.

Another good day here, luckily. She's glad it's the weekend though!

DD came home, said she talked to other year 7s and they said her brother is always in tears got a detention and sent out yesterday - I haven't been told any of this. I think they have completely forgotten he is SEN.

Penguinspandas, this all sounds really dreadful for DS and you, and not great for DD. It doesn't sound as if they've thought out things at all, demanding he comes in the other day, sending him home already, detention! (What was the detention for?) Can you meet SENCO and/or other staff to discuss strategies? Hope things improve next week.

Oh good grief - that's not good at all! Why on earth have the school not communicated any of this to you?

Bloody hell penguins is be inclined to keep him home until you can have sit down meeting with the staff and talk this all over. This is not acceptable

Thanks everyone. DH said when he spoke to school they said all staff are being told he's SEN today so at least that's a start but we had meeting with SENCO on Tuesday pre school and I told school he was SEN in July when we got places, admittedly it was only a few days before they broke up so they should have been told before today.

He is saying he didn't get detention or sent out yesterday so it could be the y7s got that wrong but I can believe it and no-one has yet given a sensible explanation for today. DD is very happy there and lots of friends so the things with her don't matter too much but don't really understand how you can just lose 2 children and be when they turn up but they were quickly added to registers and classes so clearly forgotten. Hopefully will get sorted soon and at least its the weekend. I hope they are wrong about him crying, he doesn't normally cry at all though is quite soft always cuddling so it's possible.

That sounds awful Penguin . Sending him home sounds like an unofficial exclusion to me.

Good news here - The PE kit has been found!

Well done on getting PE kit back. No sign of ours yet.

It was an unofficial exclusion, they aren't allowed to do that. We had 4 Heads at his primary and one of them did this, thankfully she was only there for a year but its just they cba to sort out the issues so pass it on. Trouble is if you complain it can go either way so going in gently at the moment. We are rural here too so no other close schools, this one has an outstanding ofsted so in theory should be good. Looks like its great for DD but not sure DS will manage there. We haven't sold old house so could go back but his trial day at that school he had been seperated from everyone he knew and had a boy swear and shout at him all day long so that was worse. At least this one has nice other kids.

Just got an e-mail back from Head of House saying they sent him home as he threw his book three times in French and there was a Fire Drill and he was upset in English. Not sure what a Fire Drill has to do with anything (assuming he didn't start a fire!). It just said we should take him to doctors for an autism assessment but that will take ages, we started it before but told us it would take 2 years and he improved.

Hi Penguin. Do you have an EHCP for him? I’m guessing not. You can get one without a diagnosis as it’s about need and either you or the school can request the assessment from the LA. Probably a good idea to start the process on autism diagnosis too, it took us about 2 years.

Thanks Cheminotte. No ECHP unfortunately. In primary he had no support until y3 then with someone 50 percent of time y 3 and full time TA y 4 funded by school. Y5 and Y6 no TA and managed with adaptions.

Oh penguin that doesn't sound good. It might be worth starting the process at least, then you can tell the school you've done as they asked so how about them giving a bit of help now! Is there any chance of him perhaps going part-time for a bit to build up to full time?

Good to hear one of the PE kits has turned up!

I am signed off work at the moment so could have him part time, don't know if school would agree. He won't really communicate about what would help but think he's just overwhelmed by it. I checked with DD and the boys said the boy who cries a lot has his name so think its him. Was hoping they had got mixed up. He normally never cries.

Oh penguins do go and get the ball rolling. DD2 saw a paediatrician in November 2012 when she was 5, I was told she didn't tick enough boxes for an ASD referral, unless I really wanted one, and that she was just very passive. In December 2016, I referred to CAMHS on advice of her primary school. She finally got her first appointment in July 2017 and I was told she scored highly for ASD on their screening tool, but she needed formal assessment, so she'd go on the list for a key worker. And...... She's still waiting. In August 2018 I was told that they have no idea how long she might be waiting, and that, realistically, she might be 13 before she gets her diagnosis.

Oh it might help to add that she's a young in year child, so she's only just 11. So they are saying it could be 2 whole years yet before they assess and diagnose her.