Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I’ve just just asked DD what the sandwich box and bottle are for in the fridge. It turns out she’s made her first packed lunch ready for school. She doesn’t start till next Tuesday

So would DD. She forgets her coat and umbrella most days unless I catch her in time (have got to her before the end of the road everyday until today), and has a 25 minute walk...

Still no sign of the money missing PE kit! And there’s a thread on here about uniform going missing and never turning up as it’s nicked.
I’m going to have to buy a new set but next time I will keep shorts and long trousers separate so at least if one disappears the other is available. DP has told DS if it happens again he loses TV for 2 weekends!

DS had a good day. Had his first history lesson and got star student for putting his hand up and getting most of the questions right in a quiz they did. He got so many merits over the day he got star student for his form room as well! I'm so impressed at the moment. I know it can all change at any moment but he's getting on way better than I expected.

Gulp re missing PE Kit. DS1 told dp tonight that a kid was asking all the other boys in the playground if he could borrow their PE kit. School booklet detailing expectations threatens 15 minutes detention if you don't have PE Kit, and an increase the second time. Also detention if you're not "prepared for learning with all the stuff you need to have in your pencil case". DS1 is quite organised, but I worry that he or other kids could end up getting detention for things that are really not their fault, that are down to scatty parent oversight!

That's harsh about the missing kit, elkie, I thought DD's school was bad - they keep track of a number of things that the pupil should be doing (stuff like uniform and having the right equipment, being on time for lessons) and after a certain number of infractions you get detention (but not for a first offence!). DD is quite worried about it tbh.

Good to hear that the roast was worth the increased budget I hope there is something else on the menu to pad out the main meals if the portion size is a little mean!

My DD is still shattered. She has a planner and the online homework, I've just checked it and she has her first big piece of homework coming up but a fair while to do it. Will get her to start over the weekend.

Hope everyone has a good day!

Asked DS about going to gym with friends today, said I can't I have lost my PE kit, argh. Said where did you lose it at school or home? No idea. Say to DH oh yes school told me yesterday. DS clearly worried so asked DD what she knows she said its lost at school and she think its his fleece, socks, shorts, t shirt, trainers and we forgot to name it. Neither of mine have been able to get a locker at school as joined late.

Trouble is we have a stupid system you can only order stuff online and takes 5 working days. DS loses everything other than his giant soft toys. 🐼🐧. I have something to attach key to him but I can't attach a whole bag to him but its about £60 worth of stuff, can't be doing that each week either. Only hope is it was in an Adidas bag and its tiny sized. Told DD to put her name on hers no I will never lose mine, hmm, you did last year. So joining the fun game of hunt the PE kit. DD says a French teacher found a PE kit so she's asking them but would imagine there's a fair few lost PE kits. She said she would give him hers but she's size 6 shoes, he's size 4, she's a good head taller than him.

DDs old school was 15 minute detention per lost piece of PE kit, we may never see DS again if current school do this 😱 though would imagine they won't enforce it for DS as they presumably want to go home at some point.

Hope they all have a good day today. DS loves to go to the local shop about 5 times per day so not sure whether portions are small or he's just addicted to shopping, at least he's stopped waking me at 5am to ask what he can get. 😂

DS's school has a selective sports academy within it which is how he got into the school. We have had a letter that the sports training will start next week for 1.5hrs before and 1hr after school 3 days a week. If he thinks he is shattered now he better think again!

Dd2 is settling in happily and has made new friends. With dd1 it was a huge relief when she settled in well at high school as she felt unpopular with her class at primary. Dd2 was happy socially at primary but you never know if they'll end up in a mean class! Easier for them to move class at secondary though. There was still movement between classes in year 9 in dd1's year. One girl moved out of a class because her relationship with the form tutor had broken down and another girl prmptly moved into it as her friends were in that form/house.
The school feels less strict this time round than it did with dd1, but it may just be that dd2's form tutor is less detention happy than dd1's was.
Dd2 got a strike for forgetting a book this week (3 = a detention) whereas i remember dd2 getting kept in at break the first time i forgot to sign her planner. I remind mine that a detention is "just sitting in a room" though as don't want them to be in floods of tears/petrified if they do get one! They did have to stay and do homework at lunchtime if they forgot it in ks2 so i remind them it's the same as that.

The joys of trying to keep track of PE kits! I think at DD's school it is during the lunch hour games clubs that some stuff goes missing because they are all in a rush and someone picks up the wrong or an extra top or shorts. I'm not sure what you can do about losing the entire bag apart from putting a tracking device on it!

Morning. DD was tired and ratty this morning and so was I.

Items up for discussion include:

*Lost sweater
*Came home in PE kit last night and left clothes at school
*6 lots of homework o/s (not late)
*Swimming kit not returned since Monday
*Mobile lost and she hasn't bothered looking for it.

Has moved from state to Indy and expecting a few teething troubles. She coasted last year and now is having to DO SOME WORK.

...we shall see

A tracker device is a good idea. Dd1 lost hers in year 7 and i had to replace it. (A skort, top, socks and trainers) It did get returned as was named but it took months!

I worry that he or other kids could end up getting detention for things that are really not their fault, that are down to scatty parent oversight!

To be fair elkie at this age they really should be sorting all this out by themselves which is what teachers will expect.

Can you get tracking devices, I am hopeless with technology, but that sounds like what we need. DD has a mobile and would love the job of tracker. 😎

If not sounds like someone should invent them to market to secondary school parents 😂 Thankfully DS doesn't want a mobile to take to school, he's got one just to play on - DDs old one - but says they are rip off devices and refuses to have a phone contract even though we would pay it. He took it on holiday and every place had to remind him.

My DD was like that with homework at the grammar, I felt like putting a tape recording on of my voice to repeat the same have you done your homework each night then you haven't really started it have you?

Dd seems ok this morning however I've been told a kid was asleep in class, there's chewing gum everywhere under all the desks and some boys were throwing peanuts about...

Is this the same everywhere..

Depends on the school and/or the class Giles. When DD started 2 years ago she found the form room in the morning overwhelming as she said all the kids were always loud and mucking around (she said they were like wild animals). DS seems to have a quieter class and hasn't mentioned anyone misbehaving (and he is the first to point out when someone breaks the rules).

I'm assuming the peanuts thing was at lunch or outside/break time asbshe said have had to pull one out her lunch.

The sleeper was during a maths test. Apparently the kid filled out the front and back page so it looked like he's done it and then slept.

I reminded her she should he focussing on her work whether they are sleeping or dancing on tables

She thankfully is not phased

Titsywoo, I don't completely agree. DS1 is quite organised actually, but talking of fairness, it is a huge leap from primary to secondary school for him/us. Primary school uniform was a logo sweatshirt, generic white top and black trousers, with black shorts as an option in summer, with girls having an option of gingham dress, with only one or two days a year when it's strictly enforced - trips until recently (now they have bought a set of hi-vis tabards) and photographs mainly. No detentions. At one point we had 72%+ on free school meals, and this has gone down due to eligibility changes not a change in financial circumstances.

Most if not all of us on this thread have probably done our best to make sure our DCs are ready for secondary school with everything they need. Most of us probably have more financial resources to do than the majority of families at my DCs' primary school and a significant number at DS1's secondary. In fact, my dad kindly stepped in to buy uniform and a scientific calculator for DS1, and my sister also bought some of his new stationery. But I am conscious that this probably comes to between £300 and £400 (£200 at the uniform shop, 2 pairs of shoes, scientific calculator, assorted stationery) . That is a lot of money round here, and I suggest it's not something the kids are meant to sort out on their own anywhere.

I am really concerned that some kids will face detention because their families can't afford to or won't prioritise spending so much money on stuff for school. That won't be my DS but it's also down to us as his parents to make sure his clothes are washed and clean and ready when he needs them and I find the potential for him to be punished if dp and I make a mistake a bit worrying.

DH just called to say he had call from school to say DS isn't in a good way and they want DH to collect him and bring him home. Doesn't sound good. I wish DH had said about PE kit yesterday but having said that nothing I can do about it. Not very happy about him being sent home but hard to know what to do.

Hope your son is ok Penguin, I use a free tracking app off android.
It's called Life 360 and you can track family members on their phone.
This came in very useful when my son left his phone at sports camp and I ended up tracking the person who had picked up his phone.

Thanks very much. I just hope he hasn't done anything too stupid though it sounded like an unofficial thing so probably something like he went into hiding knowing him. I want them to have an alternative to sending him home though, atm, I am off work sick so doesn't bother me but once/if I go back this will be an issue. Trying to track the PE kit, his phone stays home. I am trying to get a locker for him too.

Hope your ds feels better soon Penguins

Thanks, DH has picked him up but says no-one could say what happened.

Well he's arrived back really cheerful, helped himself to a cookie then said Mummy I will get you a cookie then was telling me how good his English lesson was.

Asked him why they sent him home and he said he got annoyed in French. Some boy kept telling him he was doing everything wrong. So DS did what the boy told him to do. Then the teacher came and told DS everything was wrong and DS said what he had done at start was right.

That sounds odd Penguins. No way would they send him home for that. Although the fact they haven't called you to explain what has happened or even why they didn't go out and speak to your DH about it properly is concerning. I'd call them now if I were you and find out what they are playing at!