Private school fees

[EllaBel]

We can't afford them but we want to. How can it be done? Is it true that advertised fees are a 'guide' and that the true fees are established in conversation and schools can be open to this sort of case by case approach? We have four children. Sibling discounts are suggested but are they really applied to any great degree? How is 'middle class' (no trolling please I am generalising) England/Wales affording private schools?

Yes Happygardening I think your points are very valid.We live in a very rural though well off area.Although my children's school is one of the best in the area in order to fill all the places they seem to offer lots of small scholarships which can be negotiated upwards.If you're applying from State Schools you don't always realise this so it us useful to know.

Lots of comprehensives do get good results for the top children.
There are advantages to state schools. We've turned down a good scholarship and bursary to a high performing private school because we decided DC would be happier and turn out better in state school. We heard reports of "snottiness" about the private school children, while the state school seems to turn out really nice, happy, individual kids, with good exam results too. We also felt that DC would find it hard being in a group of children who had far more money/possessions. Turning down the private school felt counter-intuitive in a way, but I have heard nothing but positives about the state school, so I feel that making that choice was the grown up thing to do! On the other hand, the sibling is at private, and that was the right decision for them.

OP in answer to your question it is rather unusual to start a thread and let it run for 8 pages without contributing to it again.

"Snottiness" could well be attributed to parents attitude, lifestyle & circle of friends rather than school (upbringing). Same with education, if you get DC in the habit of reading books from an early age, follow through by taking an interest in their studies (motivate, nudge or a shove here & there) & homework from primary through to secondary then you can compliment or offset the "school effect" - we can't blame school for everything, be it private, grammar or comp ....

No decent school would risk it's reputation by giving bigger discounts to gobby parents

There's a private school locally that is a bit fluid as regards fees if they want your child/ren enough.

I would be very concerned about the financial viability of a school prepared to negotiate on the level of scholarships and bursaries. I would definitely be checking the accounts and not paying more than one terms fees in advance.

I used to work at a school that gave more discounts than was sensible, gave scholarships to students that were not worthy and bursaries to sharp elbowed parents who were willing to stoop low.

At one point, the fee income was less than half of full fees. The new trustees pulled out of these deals. Not surprisingly, half the students left, but there was no reduction in income. The school was able to move forward on more solid foundations.

Snowy mountaintop I was looking for opinions, not asking for conversation. And what a fountain of opinion. Very very informative. Thanks everyone.

I know someone who sits on Eton's bursary committee and I have been told that very few people actually pay full Eton fees. Most kids are given some type of bursary.

"I have been told that very few people actually pay full Eton fees."

That's not true at all. Just under 80% of the pupils there pay the full whack! A large proportion in this group wouldn't bat an eyelid paying it.

More than 20% get financial assistance averaging 60% off fees. Over 70 boys don't pay a bean! Instead, they get paid, e.g. allowance for free uniforms, pocket money, etc.

In the United States and the U.K., private schools have become far less affordable over the last two decades. There are large increases each year in fees, and facilities are constantly renovated. I went to a very shabby private school, but we had excellent results. School is really little more than a teacher lecturing to seated students, after all.
Nearly all American state schools are comprehensive in nature. Many schools lack a culture that encourages high achievers. A critical mass of high achievers is needed to make working hard cool. It's much more fun when there is competition.

Can I add, please, please budget for astronomic rises in fees. DD1's annual boarding school fees have increased by £8000 in the three years she's been there (with the biggest hike this year, to pay for a new boarding house, which she won't get to see, never mind use). Thankfully she's in her final year...

Actually at a lunch party the other week I sat next to a school bursar. She said that they had heard it all regarding requests for bursaries/fee reductions. She said she chuckled at the number of marriages that suddenly mended when "deserted wives" were told that in order to qualify for a bursary there would need to be a full financial assessment.

Still, I know people with four dcs at this school. Even with sibling discounts that's about £30k out of taxed income. I did read somewhere that supposedly one third of private school pupils are paid for by grandparents - living or dead.

The state schools my DC have had quite a few families with one or more parent with a salary in excess of 100k. There are also lots of Surgeons (including consultants), lecturers, and City types. Most of these couldn't afford private school.
One of the local private schools does have a lot of Clergy daughter's as they get a very generous discount.

Yes in our small lovely city with good single sex state options anecdotally the middle class (doctors lawyers engineers academic) types seem to go state. Private schools have lots of international students or grandparents paying. But not London prob different there.