Private school fees

[EllaBel]

We can't afford them but we want to. How can it be done? Is it true that advertised fees are a 'guide' and that the true fees are established in conversation and schools can be open to this sort of case by case approach? We have four children. Sibling discounts are suggested but are they really applied to any great degree? How is 'middle class' (no trolling please I am generalising) England/Wales affording private schools?

Actually, seven years of fees for one is roughly equivalent to the value in house between ours and most of our friends.

difference in value...

Get a job as a teacher in a private school. This will entitle you to a significant discount if your children attend.

The fees are the fees.i know three families with four at private school, one gets 75 percent off fees as the dh teaches there and two are very, very rich (Lords who live in Manor houses!)

I know two families with 4 kids private, and one with three. The fees are paid by grandparents in each case.

In addition to bursaries, scholarships and staff discount the other reduction is paying up front. But that isn't negotiable afaik, the reduction is a set figure/ % depending on the figure you are paying in advance.

There are some charities/ funds that will occasionally contribute/ sponsor, but only for certain circumstances, and not just because your child is suffering 'normal' hardships. Let alone because you want but can't afford private.

The only people who don't skimp and scrape to afford fees are those with senior jobs in corporate finance. Or Russian oligarchs.

Most people just send their kids to normal schools, the ones attended by 93% of the population. The ones that also manage to send kids to Oxbridge and medical school despite having a non-selective intake and 1/3 of the budget of private schools.

People I know afford it by

• grandparents paying (not for us, sadly)
• teachers with a 50% discount (although that reduces it to £15k per child in my friend's case and she has 3 children)
• having well paid jobs
• high bursaries, friend on low income has been offered 80% discount for a v famous private school as they really want her son

The middle class aren't affording it, in the main. There is only one family (of approx 400 families) at my DC's school that has >3 children. There are only 3 or 4 that have 3. Overwhelmingly they have 1 DC.
How on earth did you not consider this before four children came along? (Unless they're quads)

Oh, and those with larger families all have very large gaps- most stagger each birth by five years, so that they can get each child through a stage before the next. (Many go super-selective grammar for secondary from our prep. Gap is designed to minimise fee burden)

I only know one family with four at private school and the dad is a big cheese at an investment bank so has a very high income.

I have 3 dc and that is expensive enough!

Our school doesn't offer sibling discount either and has waiting lists for places so they have no need to negotiate on fees.

Private education is a very expensive luxury.

How old are your apocryphal children EllaBel?

Fees are not set in stone if you have four children. Most people wouldn't even dream of asking. If you have five you might only pay for three. Fact.

My DDs' school doesn't offer sibling discounts or fee remission for teachers.

Ferrari or Aston Martin: We can't afford them but we want to. How can it be done? Is it true that advertised prices are a 'guide' and that the true prices are established in conversation and garages can be open to this sort of case by case approach? We would like four cars. More than one car discounts are suggested but are they really applied to any great degree? How is 'middle class' (no trolling please I am generalising) England/Wales affording such sports cars?

We can't afford them but we want to. How can it be done?

Get a higher paid job.
Work longer hours.
Save up.

As far as I know, that is how you afford things that are currently out of reach. I want to be able to afford a large house, lots of holidays and a Range Rover. Sadly, I have to accept that I am unlikely to achieve these things!!

At my DDs school, lots of parents had well paid city jobs, were doctors, lawyers, accountants, etc and had one, or at most two children. Mostly both parents had well paid jobs. Those who had 3 or 4 children had exceptionally well paid city jobs with big bonuses or were entrepreneurial and owners of very profitable businesses. Some had huge wealth from family businesses through several generations. Others had very well off grandparents who paid the fees. Better to do this than pay massive death duties later on and it is tax efficient. I know quite a few who had 4 children - all at boarding schools with my DDs. Like the Queen they had two, a gap, then another two. They did not need to spread the fees, but it did help with logistics. Ordinary middle class they were not! Moving to an area with good schools would be cheaper!

My dsis is married to a vicar in London and her four DC are all on full clergy fund bursaries.

The only school I've ever heard of that would negotiate fees didn't last long - it turned out that to boost numbers almost all the pupils were paying something different, and in the end the school had to close due to lack of money.

I agree with everyone else; I think that the fees are unmoveable in most cases.

The "extras" can also be astronomic. Last September I had to kit out DD for a new prep school (Y5) and the basics (one blazer, one skirt, one PE shirt) etc came to nearly £600.

I wish you luck, but a friend who did have 4 children at private school was forking out nearly £18,000 a term (£4,000 a term each, plus extras) - which just made my blood run cold. And then multiply that by three terms .....

"If you have five you might only pay for three. Fact."

Yes. There are schools which do this. And it's why I recommended looking at Catholic schools because it's rather commoner with them.

They also include it in their published information about fees and remissions. It's not nudge, wink stuff. Because no one family is worth pissing off the whole of the rest of the fee-paying parents in the school.

We are in the US so slightly different as many schools have fairly substantial financial aid available each year. They offer this to children as part of the school offer. It generally goes to families who would otherwise be completely unable to afford the school and/or is used to increase diversity/attract talented musicians or athletes or very bright children.

In the 4 private schools I have experience of, most people had 1 or 2 children. Most had 2 parents both with very well paying jobs- like a lawyer and a hospital consultant or a financial advisor and a business school professor. Of the families I know with 4 children, in each case one parent was always very senior in finance- ran own venture capital firm or own investment firm.

There is no way a school could survive negotiating fees on a family by family basis. This would mean that one family paying full fees because they didn't know to negotiate is effectively subsidising the education of another family who negotiated. I would remove my children from a school with this lack of honesty and integrity. Financial aid/bursaries are different.

Treat each child severally, they could get decent scholarships if the get top marks on the exam. How much can you afford? Can you pay for two if two got scholarship. Or would you be looking at separate schools?

We have three (2 year gaps) and I would like a fourth. First is about to start private pre prep in Sept and the amount we will potentially be paying when all three go is scary. My husband has an exceptionally well paid job in the city and I have - what would be regarded by most of the population - as a very well paid job (full time but currently on mat leave with number 3).

To be honest unless you have an exceptionally highly paid job I don't know how people afford it. Pre prep fees at son's school (central London) are approx £5k a term. Plus extras etc say £20k x 3 is £60k BEFORE TAX. So basically £120k a year of salary going on school fees. £160k if we have four. Fees of top private schools from age 13 are approx £30k pa + extras I believe. The maths on that is frightening.

I was state educated, my husband private (boarded from 7 ) and tbh I do wonder if it is worth the money. We both ended up at Oxford. But then I think what is the point of these crazy jobs if not to provide the best we can.

My DC go private, but the families I know with 4 kids all in private are loaded.

Private school is expensive. Times four it's eye watering.