Is your child in the top set of a comprehensive school? Can I ask you something?

[Hakluyt]

Do they get bullied because they are in the top set?

I have been told on another thread that this is a common experience- is it?

Not for dd but she is a very strong character and probably wouldn't care if anyone said anything

But she doesn't mix much outside of the top sets other than form time which is maybe 15 minutes a day and sports clubs but they are all really supportive of each other

We live in Luton so a town with a really non-leafy reputation. My ds is in Y11, has always been in the top set for everything except PE and French and he's never been bullied for it. I have friends with children in the top set for everything and they've not either.

No - and I know I'd be expected to deny it, but absolutely honestly, the one time my dd was in set 2 she was mortified, and friends of both children who are in sets 2 or even 3 aspire to be in the top set and ask if/when they can move up.

Not at DD's school. There are a lot of bright children at her school and, while she is in the top sets for maths and English, there are others who are much brighter than her, and they don't get bullied either.

She is on the fringes of friendship groups because of her personality rather than her academic achievements.

no, not at all. Being a nerd (or geek - can't remember which!) is most definitely something to aspire to. There's a waiting list for book club etc.

My three children in two different schools have never experienced this. Are the people on that thread actually talking from personal experience?

Their interpretation thereof, MissMillament (EJ Howard?)

Yes!

Sooo excited to see Miss Millament here. Can you imagine her reaction to somebody being bullied for being bright? Or for not being bright,for that matter.
< must write Do Not Derail Own Thread 100 times in best handwriting>

Nah, but she is would laugh it off probably. She has been teased about her appearence a bit, but just agreed with the joke and laughed a long.
I wish I had her confidence.

No year 11 now and never experienced this.

No. I frequently ask DD1 if the girls who enjoy reading and so forth are found weeping in a solitary corner till one sympathetic teacher silently presses a dog-eared copy of Tess of the D'Urbervilles into their hands and she snorts loudly and goes off to the school library.

there is very little (that I'm aware of - dd has verbal diarrhoea & tells me pretty much EVERYTHING that EVERYONE does/thinks/says, whether I want to know or nor) social angst going on - most people seem to rub along quite happily. There was a bit of strife between the 'wannabe alpha X-factor airheads*' at the very beginning of year 7 - sorted out by separating them into different houses, I think it was problems brought up from primary school - but nothing since.

I was (secretly) shitting myself when dd very publicly - in an English speaking assignment in front of half the year - came out as gay/bisexual in year 8 ... but that hasn't caused any problems either!

• I wasn't delighted by that description but I know what dd means & the giggly dumb act is not a route to popularity there. My social advice to her is stay out of trouble & be friendly to everyone which seems to have worked.

Oddboots - good to hear as DD has just gone into Yr7 in the same non-leafy town :) Is in top sets so far and just LOVING it.
Mind you the children in her year group at primary had such a rough time that nothing will phase them in high school

Ds is very academic but is also a right pain in the bum sometimes and has never been bullied at all for being top set. His friendship groups seems to span all abilities and he's happy if he has a mate in lessons but equally has found new friends in his set lessons too.

Not at my boys current school no, but one of the reasons we moved ds1 when he was in yr9 was due to bullying, it was not 'cool' to be bright, to want to work etc in his old high school. Normal comprehensive, no grammar schools here.

There is no issue at all as his school now, yr11 and ds2 is in yr8, both in top sets and that's fine. There is a good work ethic throughout the school and same re behaviour unlike at the old sschool where there was lots of low level bullying and disruption and bad behaviour in classes.

Not sure what the difference is, I thinking partly that it's a smaller school, 900 ish pupils as opposed to 1500 and they seem to know their pupils better. They also have a fantastic pastoral support team.

I teach secondary, and throughout the sets I never hear of any name-calling about who is in which set.
To a bottom set child, Top Set is a thing of wonder where everyone works silently and knows everything. Conversely, some top set children think that bottom set is all just colouring in and shouting out. I always put the record straight on both counts.

I'd say at dd's school being in the top set is fine, but being at the top of the top set and not sporty to offset it is less helpful. Seems pretty much as it was in my day.

feetheart Sorry to hear about your dd's primary. I have a dd in Y7 too, she has just started at the same high school as ds but I'm not sure they're in sets yet. I know this is perhaps an odd view but I think we are lucky here that there are very few chances to go to a selective or private school because the schools are genuinely comprehensive.

threepiecesuite, obviously a very long time ago, but in my school days my 'gang' was made up of the top of the top set and bottom of the bottom set - i.e. the weird kids

Ds1, Y8, assures me no bullying at his large boys' comp, unlike the lovely little primary he went to! He's in top sets and very happy, so are his friends. And the advantage of the comp is that he is friends with boys in other sets who share his interests in minecraft etc but just need to go at a steadier pace in maths and English. They do have mixed groups for some subjects, which may help, but I think it all comes down to zero tolerance of bullying by the school. But he also started this school with a cohort of friends so there could be a range of factors working in favour of the geeks!

Nope, DC in 2 different schools. One leafy town, one not.
DD got some grief in primary, but not secondary. I think she'd eat them for lunch if they dared now, and then send her Muscle after then if still annoyed (yes she has an entourage).

On Instagram recently, a boy (knew from primary) asked "Are you still a geek?" DD's new secondary friends pounced on the asker anyway, but DD fumed that she didn't shoot back "Yeah, but if you thought I was such a geek why did you always beg me to be on your football team?"

No.

But most of her friends are also in top set for most things so the people who's opinion she would care about are unlikely to be bothered about her.

IMO there are far more things that would cause 'bullying' than being in the top set. DS1#s longer hair caused a bit of bullying, I am fully expecting DS2's slightly eccentric behaviour to cause some problems. Being in the top set, not so much.

Yes and no. If she'd gone to our local one, though, it might be a different story.