Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Is your child in the top set of a comprehensive school? Can I ask you something?

161 replies

Hakluyt · 24/09/2014 09:00

Do they get bullied because they are in the top set?

I have been told on another thread that this is a common experience- is it?

OP posts:
TheOriginalSteamingNit · 24/09/2014 11:40

The girl who moved recently to dd's school and is astoundingly clever, sang the first verse of Once In Royal David's City at the carol concert, is apparently mildly frustrating in her massive talent at everything, niceness and popularity...

Bakeoffcakes · 24/09/2014 11:40

I agree that today's teenagers are much nicer than in the 80s.

They do feel proud and happy when someone they know achieves something they're striving for.

Bakeoffcakes · 24/09/2014 11:41

TheOriginalSteamingNit
"Explored One poster is saying it happens in comprehensives of all kinds, where bottom sets fail to 'laud' the top set children for their achievements and bully them out of envy. Meanwhile the top set cower apprehensively in justified fear"

WTFAngry

Boysandme · 24/09/2014 11:42

DS is yr 9 in a decent comp. He is top set for everything apart from PE.

It is certainly not cool to be keen to learn, DS is far more interested in what people think of him than how he actually performs sadly.

BakewellSlice · 24/09/2014 11:43

My DS has been mostly in mixed ability groups in a high achieving comp.

He isn't outstanding but has ended up in the slightly higher groups as external exams have loomed.

In the early years there was more general unpleasantness, then the troubled ones seemed to coalesce into picking on each other. My son seems very intolerant of those in his class who just seem to him uninterested in learning. So it's not widened his horizons so far.

I don't see it has been that great for any of them. I believe research shows it pulls up some middle attainers. What I'm saying is they don't exactly respect one another.

Luxaroma · 24/09/2014 11:44

I would say if anything it's the other way around. At the dc's primary it was the high ability group kids who did the bullying - I think a few of them had to be given a firm telling off for calling some kids as thick and stupid and teasing them after receiving poor test results.
Higher sets are something the kids all aspire to, failing isn't seen as cool anymore.

GregorSamsa · 24/09/2014 11:52

DS in top sets (set 2 for maths) in Y11 at roughish Catholic comprehensive.

Never had any issues with being bullied as far as I'm aware. He's on vague speaking terms with guys who are definitely not in top sets and not interested in learning, so that's not an issue either. I expect he's probably taken the occasional daft comment about being a geek (though he isn't), but I wouldn't consider that bullying, just banter.

We've recently had a letter saying he's getting an award for being in the top 20 highest effort marks during Y10, which he seems vaguely pleased about, in a nonchalant teenage boy kind of way.

enderwoman · 24/09/2014 12:06

No. I have 2 top set children and neither are bullied for being top set. Their friends are mainly other top set children and there are 240 per year. Both of my kids know of children who aren't say top set maths but amazing tape and being amazing at another subject is considered cool.

The school is one of the best in the county so high achievement in anything from sport to debating to science is respected asking sarge talented person isn't rubbing it in anyone's face or something.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 24/09/2014 12:33

No bullying for being clever at DDs Comp.

Top set DD1 does slightly too much fitting in and too little work, but that's what she'd be like anywhere. She only likes to show off if she can be the very very best. Eg. she'll do back walkovers in PE.

DD1(16) did get stick for being a square peg in a round hole. She is easily set one bright, but her dyslexic writing skill barely stagger into set 3.

Thus, she fetches up in set 2 able to answer everything, with very iffy, in your face social skills. Clearly kids keen to go up the pecking order find her an easy target.

Thankfully by the end of Y9, those who wanted to do well realised she's actually a rather good member of your group as she's hard working and good at explaining stuff. She also grew up a lot.

Totally agree, primary if you the only really bright DC in a small year group it can be very hard. dD1 was lucky they had a top table of 4 that was just big enough to work. Past years have had one DC way above the others and that's been hard.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 24/09/2014 12:41

Bakedoff WTF indeed!

MissMillament · 24/09/2014 13:13

I've already commented from a parent's pov on this thread but am also a teacher and would like to share with you something that happened in one of my KS3 top sets last year. We were discussing a character in a play who was reluctant to speak up in class for fear of being thought clever. I asked the class why they thought she might have felt like that. Not one of them suggested that it might be for fear of being teased or bullied and when I raised it as a possibility they were astonished. I teach in a well-regarded but very ordinary comprehensive and haven't come across it as a problem in this or any of the previous schools I have taught in - all normal comps.

TalkinPeace · 24/09/2014 13:26

NO.
DD is now at college.
The top sets "gang" all supported each other and were lauded by the school.
Never had issues from other kids outside of lessons.

NO
DS is still at the school and is picked on when he's a prat but never for being clever.

bonkersLFDT20 · 24/09/2014 13:35

My yr11 son has been in the top set for everything all along [proud].
He has never been bullied and as far as I know there isn't a problem at his school (Essex/Cambridge border) with the "try-ards" doing well.

He gets called a try-ard but it's all good natured, at least from what I hear from him.

bonkersLFDT20 · 24/09/2014 13:36

Oh, it's a comp.

FriendlyLadybird · 24/09/2014 14:04

Nope. He's part of a bookish crowd and there are doubtless many who are not so bookish, but the different groups tend to leave each other alone. DS is in great demand when it comes to forming quiz teams, which he will do with people who are 'experts' in all sorts of areas. The school seems to be genuinely friendly and supportive of everyone.

He got a bit of teasing for 'speaking posh' but he knows how to handle it.

Original poster
Hakluyt · 24/09/2014 14:38

Thank you everybody. Keep the experiences coming!

OP posts:
ApocalypseNowt · 24/09/2014 14:40

I was in all the tops sets when i went to comp. I was bullied horrendously but never, ever because of that tbh.

ApocalypseNowt · 24/09/2014 14:41

In fact quite a few of the bullies were in the top sets with me....

Sunna · 24/09/2014 14:49

Both DCs were in the top sets, no physical bullying at all that they reported. School very hot on bullying policy.

They both had very smart mouths so no verbal bullying either. Well not more than once.

caringdad66 · 24/09/2014 15:00

Top set son is a little self conscious about being above average ability,but hasnt been bullied....one or two snide comments from the "class clown",but thats it...as i keep telling him..top set equals better grades which equals better life...(and i am a binman)

motherinferior · 24/09/2014 15:01

Do kids at the top set of selectives get bullied by the less select, do you think?

BitOutOfPractice · 24/09/2014 15:01

My DD is in year 10, top sets. Never been bullied for being bright. It's a local comp - albeit a very very good one

Sunna · 24/09/2014 15:06

This just reminded me of something DS1's head teacher at junior school reported to me with some amusement.

One lad said to DS1, "I bet you think you're cleverer than me, don't you?"

DS1, "Yup!"

Other child (a friend of DC1's) did goldfish impressions for a minute then they both burst into hysterical laughter.

bigTillyMint · 24/09/2014 15:08

DD(15) is top set. She isn't bullied for being "clever" - there are plenty of clever kids there.

Badvoc123 · 24/09/2014 15:13

Ds1 is top set for science.
No bullying afaik.

Swipe left for the next trending thread