Is your child in the top set of a comprehensive school? Can I ask you something?

[Hakluyt]

Do they get bullied because they are in the top set?

I have been told on another thread that this is a common experience- is it?

ps: the one bad thing (DD's leafy school) is she says a LOT of the boys (any set) bandy the N-word around constantly, it's some kind of coolness badge. This is a 98.5% white school in UKIP territory :(.

Somehow the word came up in some class & DD pointedly made a public statement about how very uncool it was. Said that no boys would meet her eye.

No, never. DD in year 12, ds1 in year 11.
ive never heard of it happening tbh.

"Yes and no. If she'd gone to our local one, though, it might be a different story."

Could you say some more about that?

Normal comprehensive here (albeit a very good one). Very mixed intake, absolutely no bullying because people are in top sets. DS1, now in sixth form, has always been top set, DS2 has somehow worked his way up there (probably some mistake, but that's another thread). It is definitely cool to be bright, achieving but most of all trying!

Nope Dd very happy . she's not one if the super confident kids but lives school so def not bullied

No never.

I have 2 DDs who are now at uni. Both were in the top sets for everything. They went to our local comp, which has a bigger than average proportion of fsm. They both have friends from all abilities. On the day dd1 and her best friend went to collect their results for GCSE, DD1 got all As/A*, her friend managed 6Cs. Both celebrated each others results because they'd achieved what they were predicted.

Out of a total of 14 years in school/6th form I never heard a single incidence of a child being bullied because they were a "swat".

No, this has never happened to either of my DC and I have not heard of bullying for this reason at the school ( an average comp in Northern city).

No. She's in top sets for everything. She tells us nothing we only found out after probing from her aunt. I really don't think a big deal is made out of it at her school.

Don't know yet with my primary aged children but certainly happened to an extent at my secondary, I think more so with the girls than the boys. It was much better when we moved on to different sixth form colleges.

Well I went to a very mixed comprehensive in the 80s and was in all top sets - and no one was bullied for that. If anything you were more likely to get hassle for being clever in when everyone was in mixed-ability class. A friend went to a different school where they didn't set late on and she got bullied whilst in a mixed ability class.

I have two DSs, both in top set (year 7 and 9). They have experienced bullying, but it was (DS1) from a child who is generally a bit of a nutter, and DS1 appeared to have been fairly randomly selected as a target and DS2 had some rather complicated friendship issues where he was very good friends with one of a set of twins and not so close with the other. This is ongoing and appears to be supported by the parents so pretty tricky. Not aware of anyone being bullied because of being in the top set.

Normal comprehensive.
Yes and no I'd say. Dd has name calling and I think the boys have it worse. What I'd call low level rather than out and out. Probably better now most things are setted in year 9 so they aren't coming into as much contact with those who are in no top sets.

Dd is in top set, she hasn't been bullied (yet) even though she is tiny, wears specs and has autism. Dd has a small group of friends who aren't in the top set but seems to fly under the radar as she is very quiet. I'm hoping this situation continues. She does seem to avoid the thuggish ones though by being top set so that's a positive.

The other point to consider is that parents who support Grammars forget that single sex, selective schools bring their own issues.

I know some horror stories about a super selective girls grammars. Eating disorders, bullying, self harming etc.

Dd is at uni flat sharing with a girl who went to one in London. She has suffered horrendous bullying at that school and has developed eating issues she is still dealing with. She was also not invited to the A level prize giving, she wasn't surprised as she'd "only" got ABB.

I was, well actually I'm not sure it was bullying, certainly wasn't called that at the time but there was some name calling etc.

However, I really believe teenagers today are so much nicer than they were in the 80s. They seem to support and enjoy each other's achievements, where in my day they would always knock them down.

Are the people telling you it's common talking about things happening today (I'm sure there is still some) or are they projecting remembering their own experiences?

Explored One poster is saying it happens in comprehensives of all kinds, where bottom sets fail to 'laud' the top set children for their achievements and bully them out of envy. Meanwhile the top set cower apprehensively in justified fear

"However, I really believe teenagers today are so much nicer than they were in the 80s. They seem to support and enjoy each other's achievements, where in my day they would always knock them down."

I totally agree.

See also: reading under desk, deliberately under-achieving, set on bad track for life etc etc etc ad nauseam.

One Y9 boy, decent comprehensive but not the sort some on MN would wet their knickers over getting their children into. His sets are all over - top, second and middle. There doesn't appear to be any bullying related to sets - if anything, being clever is cool and he was outraged at being moved down in French.

Yes, I think teenagers are nicer today than they used to be. No idea why.

More people need to read this thread!

Is this a fred about a fred? Where's the original?

Here!

It's the 'regretting grammar school' one.

dd has a classmate who moved from Australia half way through year 7, then missed an awful lot of year 8 through ill health & in many ways she's really struggled academically. Anyway, she has slogged her guts out for the last 6 months & has just been "promoted" to the top set for maths & science ... her tutor group was so excited they practically threw a party! I really do think most teenagers are lovely.

Dd doesn't. All her friends are also in the top sets.

I think she might have the odd kid in her form who calls her a geek but I wouldn't say she's bullied. She loves been a geek, has got the big geek glasses and everything!

Oddboots - I agree with you that it's a positive thing that the lack of a private option has made the local schools here truly comprehensive. Our only issue was which of the three local ones within walking distance to go for :)
Fortunately the problems in primary were just DD's year group (who were a nightmare right from reception) DS is now Yr4 at the same primary and has had a brilliant time there. The disruptive ones in DD's year have been spread very thinly in the high school and, hopefully for them and everyone else concerned, seem to be doing OK so far.