Tearing my hair out over State boarding

[Teddingtonmum1]

As I'm a single mum with a demanding job , I have decided to look into state boarding preferably weekly if I can get my ds a place . Christs hospital is my number 1 choice due to the bursary and it's a great school ( my brother is an old blue so slightly biased ) am also looking at RAAs in Reigate and Gordon's in Woking got open days at both saturday and next thursday out of the 2 would prefer Gordon's as a fall back if we cant get into CH , but have been advised that I can claim tax credits towards the 'childcare ' bill .

Have quizzed Gordon's as to chances of getting in I live in teddington so the right side of London but they said it obviously depends on siblings etc .( no really fair if you only have one can see why there's sibling priority in primary but not at secondary as kids get themselves to school but those are the rules ) am a little hopeful to read someone got in last year from east London ? any thoughts about gordons ??? im just about tearing my hair out as need a boarding place otherwise my sond going to be forced to become a latch key kid which I don't want HELP !!!!

badgerB I have said that I respect OPs wish for her son to go to CH, I entirely understand. I have a lot of friends who have sent their DCs to Boarding Schools for various reasons, mainly admittedly being overseas. However it was financially feasible, DCs wanted it, the family agreed on that course and DCs were bright and able to get in. With so many of those factors up in the air then OPs insistence that that is her only real option in the face of all the parents telling her that the other option is also a good one is a bit . The local school does not have a gang problem unless you count a few lanky lads with floppy hair kicking about the park or playing loud music and Xbox in their bedrooms, the sort of thing you will find in every boarding school. I know of one lad who it was suggested should leave, and went off to Boarding School, just for being a bit of a bully and would be Lothario. It is very much a school with middle class problems.

OP, you may still end up paying a large fees bill for any of these places.
But, have you got money put aside for university education? It may be much better for you to go with Teddington and focus on saving for university, which I have no doubt that your son will reach whether he goes to boarding school or not. Your finances don't sound that strong and if you have the chance of a good state school then I honestly think that you should take it.

I would seriously consider the advice on here to advertise for someone to do after school care. You may well find that a responsible sixth former would be happy to do it a couple of days a week - I used to babysit after school when I was 17 - 19 (and on track to get AAB from my state comprehensive!). Or put an advert on Gumtree - it is free to do so and you can test the waters and see what kind of response you get. A retired teacher might be interested? Honestly, it will only be for a couple of years that you need someone, at the most.

Thanks for all the help and advice am still pursuing boarding my ds has now said he prefers the option of going to reeds as a weekly boarder so will be having a mad panic after half term to try and prepare as CH don't include vr / non vr in it's admission tests so we didn't bother learning it . Have admitted to the school as a state pupil has never done and they are going to send me something to go over with him but told me not to worry too much

Would love to hear from and parents at reeds who managed to get a foundation place , I have an interview scheduled with the headmaster in dec ( not with ds just me !!) so slightly nervous that I don't mess it up !!.

Ds is still sitting CH exam tomorrow as a fall back but Reeds is definately the front runner just sick and tired of having to explain myself every time I say my ds is going to board anyone would think I'm sending him to borstal !!.

I have a friend whose DS was offered a Foundation Place at Reeds about 5 years ago. She is a single mum, no support from the boy's father and living in a very small flat, working but with a low wage and receiving tax credits. Someone from Reeds came to visit her at home to assess the 'unsuitability' of the home circumstances and the area. The child was interviewed too, at the school - I think he said they talked about books.
The HT mentioned old boys Sebastian Faulks and Tim Henman, at least I THINK that's who, but don't take it as certain..
They didn't take the place in the end because a bursary was offered at a school nearer home in the midlands.

Re my post above. Just remembered it wasn't a flat but two rooms in a shared house my friend had, which made the accommodation less than suitable. The boy spend much of the time living with a grandparent

Wondering whether the OP thought this thread would be full of people saying that it was utterly wrong for an 11 year old to be home alone for an hour or so a day so that she could show it to her son's father so he will stump up for school fees.
There doesn't seem to be any other explanation for her utter refusal to think that a situation faced by probably the the majority of secondary school families can be solved in any way but boarding school.....

Sledgehammer to crack a nut!

Teddington you will always get boarding bashers on MN as some people really think it is cruel to do that to your dcs. Having said that on another thread I have seen people being hugely supportive of someone having problems getting their dc to board.

You know what is best for your ds. Good luck to your ds for today's exam.

Hope it goes well today Teddington. Don't underestimate the VR/NVR elements of the Reeds exam - going over a few practice papers won't be enough as many state school children have been coached in these disciplines as well - all over the Kingston/Surrey region. The good news is - six weeks of 'intensive' practice at home should be enough to dramatically improve scores for beginners. I see that Reeds use GL Assessment - go to WHSmith in Kingston and you will see a vast array of books on GL VR/NVR!! Also, Bond11plus (Bond Online) can be helpful although they are a little easier and have more question types than GL I think - good for boys who like using computers though.

You seem.to be going to great lengths to board your child. Personally, id move, sooner than send mine away unecessarily, which in your case, I think it is.

clavinova the tutoring factories that put children through months of repetitive VR/NVR for the Tiffins are exploiting the fact that the state grammars haven't invested in keeping the tests tutor proof. For properly developed tests with investment in keeping them unpredictable there will be no more benefit in doing more than around ten practise papers to familiarise you with the format. Most indies and I would hope Reeds will, like most businesses who use them, pay to get tests that are properly developed and maintained, and will give them an indication of ability not tutoring.

Quite frankly I've had enough of the oh I wouldn't send my child to boarding or you should be happy with the local comp, im not going to apologise this is what i want and my son is happy to board anyone would think im sending b off to borstal , ive accepted that as per usual his father won't be coughing up but that's his choice what he doesn't realise is he won't be able to roll up to the school in a couple of years playing the proud father without contributing that is his loss.

Reeds have been very helpful they have send over packs of practice papers today to go over so will have to try and do our best to go through them even if its 30 mins a day and see how we go. DS said that the CH exam was easy but I guess we shall see as will find out on the 11th nov if he has made it through to the next round in jan.
did try and find a tutor but had some want £80 for an assessment and then £40 for a group lesson !!! and they didn't even have a teaching qualification so have asked one of his old teachers to help so fingers crossed.
Re reeds I have an interview at the school on dec will be bricking it guess they will be checking if a chav or a poor yummy mummy ...... phew be glad when its all over the k god I've only got the 1

will be bricking it guess they will be checking if a chav or a poor yummy mummy

And suddenly, any trace of sympathy anyone had left evaporates.

Well if you can't pay for it it doesn't really matter what you want does it - your pfb doesn't have any more right to a fabulous education just because you're stamping your feet about it ...

The Reeds foundation places are meant for children whose families are in truly dire situations, not children living in the leafy catchment of a highly sought after secondary

hmm bet the next thing your going to be telling me is I should know my place .... Unfortunately the very dire wouldn't even have the confidence to apply . and whilst its not right its reality so if my DS can earn a place then I'm not going to feel guilty because I'm not 'dire ' enough ... so I guess its a case of watch this space and fingers crossed.

No wrap around care for secondary does not mean boarding is the obvious and only option. What dichotomous thinking. If the primary school wrap around care ran until 6pm and that worked for you, you are only really looking to fill a couple of hours at most. There are millions of options: the local library, after school clubs, sports clubs, childminder at her house, childminder at your house. Or perhaps a combination of these things.

Or do you actually want him to board, for other reasons, entirely separate from the childcare issue between 4pm and 6pm?

It just would have been so much better f you had just said "I want my child to go to this school- how do I go about it?"

It was all the bullshit about not wanting him to be on his own for an hour after school that irritated.

OP you are really quite rude and have a real sense if entitlement.

RVP I think she considers that since she isn't a "chav or a poor yummy mummy" or "dire" she is entitled. I think she may be a stereotype all of her own .

Teddingtonmum I would do your very best to keep your sense of entitlement under wraps at the interview, take a hint from how you have antagonised people on this thread. I really haven't ever seen a thread on the Educations threads where the OP managed to provoke so many negative reactions. Certainly do not try to pull the wool over the eyes of Reeds by trying to dismiss Teddington as a "local comp". They are only a few miles away, not another planet. You need to find some solid reasons why Teddington is not right for your son, eg it doesn't have the facilities for him to develop a particular talent or competence, underpinned by facts. So far all we have seen on here is irrational prejudice and nothing that would convince many of us here you were genuinely deserving of this opportunity for your son .

cant see why i would be seen as rude , but no one is going to give you anything in this life for nothing especially if you don't have the funds to pay your way but for the truly determined they will find a way to make it happen so no sympathy required and I thanks to everyone who has given great advice esp Clavinova for reeds information . good luck to everyone going through the bursary process I'm off to go polish my Porsche lol NOT ...

Ffs ! Leave the OP alone, can't you? She wants her son to go to boarding school, he is happy to go. She can't afford full fees so she's asking around about bursaries. Good for her! And schools WILL want to see if she's a "chav or poor yummy-mummy" - meaning that they will judge whether she is likely to support her son's education.

OP, I'm afraid I can't offer any insight into your solution but I do know there are many, many parents out there with grown up children who now wish they had thought a bit carefully more about what their kids were getting up to once they started secondary school.
Good luck!

Badger I was offering constructive advice. I know the schools. Teddington School works with several prestigious local Independent Schools like The Lady Eleanor Holles exchanging expertise and on joint activities in sport, drama, revision sessions, model united nations etc etc. It is known as an excellent state school amongst indie Heads, it really would be counter productive if OP tries to paint it as anything else. They really will not share her prejudices.

Going to hide this this thread as you may not think you're rude OP but you have a really shitty attitude. And strangely enough thousands of families manage without sending their children to boarding school because of lack of after school clubs. If you're that bothered send him to private school and let someone else have a funded place at boarding school.

Indeed I doubt very much that the Head of Reeds will share OPs prejudices since he can only manage 30% A*/ A in English Language with his selective intake whilst Teddington manages 29% with it's non selective intake, considerably better in top sets. I think he may well be very grateful for OPs above average son.......