State grammar schools compared with independent schools

[SkippyYourFriendEverTrue]

What are the most significant differences?

I am reading the Good Schools Guide and it is generally gushing about grammar schools and implies that you can get a £13k/year education for free. However I would have thought that class sizes would be larger at grammar schools, maybe other differences too.

I went to a state comp, there were 30 in my class, although I think that was partly because we were 'subsidising' the lower sets to have about 12 in the class.

DS is Y6 at prep school and can continue to Y8, around 15 in his class. We are concerned that he is probably quite vulnerable to bullying etc., although he hasn't that issue because the children at his prep school are all vair nice. Am a bit suspicious of state schools on this front, but that might not be fair.

It might all be irrelevant as we are in Surrey and no grammars here, but we are looking to move anyway was curious before committing to spend £100k on DS' secondary education (and then potentially the same again for DD).

"Not only inappropriate but non of your business! "

FFS - I know, that's why I didn't ask.

Many thanks for your 'Asian families' stereotypes btw.

I am a little puzzled about why you mentioned the ethnicity of the children showing you round, to be honest.

OP the only one on here heading firmly down the stereotype road here is you. Congratulation on restraining yourself from asking those children how their parents could afford the fees but the tragedy is that you thought it! Most people when looking around a school are not so crass as to wonder how their parents pay for it they are generally more interested in facilities class sizes do the children look happy are the teachers interested in the children do you like the general feel of the place etc.
Looking back over this thread you have had quite a few helpful suggestions/advice etc you seem to be ignoring it and coming out with increasingly inflamatory remarks.

I was sharing my impressions. If they had looked and sounded like Prince William I would have said so too.

Ofsted for instance say about a grammar school in Slough (outstanding) "Over two-thirds of the school's population are from minority ethnic groups, with just over a half coming from Asian/British-Indian backgrounds". That tells you quite a lot.

Does it? I wonder what it tells you?

I'd still like to know what a 12 year old in school uniform from a "monied" family looks like!

"Congratulation on restraining yourself from asking those children how their parents could afford the fees but the tragedy is that you thought it!"

???

If they are handing out generous bursaries, then obviously that's something I need to research for my own child.

Also, I have had enough of the Volvo XC90 set at the current school really, would prefer a few more down-to-earth types.

So would the school been more acceptable of they'd spoken like Prince William. If yes you looking at the wrong schools forget the £10 000pa ones start looking at the £30 000+ pa ones.
I beginning to think I'm missing something here I understand you have a child with ASD and are admirably looking for a suitable school for him where his needs will be met and he is able to achieve his potential. I would have thought that the background ethnicity of the other children is completely irrelevant.

We are on a substantial bursary but if my DS showed you round his school on meeting him you would not be able to guess this. He does sound like "Prince William" is white and as bursaries are confidential is not required to indentify himself by walking around in sack cloth and ashes or even tatty 3rd hand uniform!
If your looking for a school that has a generous bursary policy you dont need to make value judgements about the children you meet or even the parents for that matter as some of the wealthiest people in the UK who we know are unbelievably scruffy just read the schools individual websites those that are very committed to offering bursaries state it proudly and very clearly usually on their home page and of course talk to the bursar.

I wouldnt worry to much about "Volvo XC90 set" at secondary school be it state or independent you have significantly less contact with other parents.

""Congratulation on restraining yourself from asking those children how their parents could afford the fees but the tragedy is that you thought it!"

What happygardening means is that most people would no more think of asking a child who paid their school fees than they would think of asking the Head how much his tie/her shoes cost. It wouldn't even cross their minds. So it wouldn't come up on a thread like this. That's why people are a bit shocked that it has here

Not only think of asking just think it!

You could also ask your head about which schools have generous bursary policies he/she should know.
If you gave been able to afford your prep fees then you may not be eligible for a bursary or find that you are no better off if you get one. Our fees nearly doubled from £17 000 pa at prep to just shy of £34 000 pa at senior but we pay the same amount after assessing our earnings and non existant assets we just get a bigger % reduction at senior.

Have not gave sorry typing error!

The fact that you would wonder how an Asian family could afford school fees shows how out of touch you are with reality. In many parts of the country Asian families are absolutely the ones who can pay the school fees. 2-3 generations of hard work mean that many of these families are incredibly successful. 25% of the children in my children's independent school are from British Asian families, most of the fabulous houses near us are being bought up by asian families, most of the partners at my DH's accountancy firm are british born Asian. These 2 boys were most likely from a state school background because there were good state schools in their area with lots of other like minded families and they are probably at the school you looked as precisely because their parents can afford to pay the fees through exactly the same means as many other non Asian families.

Oh, and even Prince William doesn't really sound like you would expect him too, more like very well spoken rather than truly poshly spoken.

Oh and I have an XC90, you should try one. They're great cars.

*None of them are allowed to go anywhere on their own, etc.

Don't want him to go anywhere 'streetwise'*
thats quite odd IMO, don't you want him to learn to be independent of you?

The fact that you would wonder how an Asian family could afford school fees shows how out of touch you are with reality.

Totally out of touch I would say. They will also have a lot of Chinese pupils.

Don't want him to go anywhere 'streetwise'

I think that you will find many of those who go to independent schools are extremely 'streetwise'.

IM beginning to agree with the above comment that this is a "wind up!" Surely no one in the UK can be that out of touch maybe if your a hermit living in the middle of no where but I understand the OP lives in Surrey the last time I was there it looked pretty populated and even cosmopolitan to me!

I have a friend who teaches in an independent school in Surrey and they are certainly streetwise-mainly because a lot of them get far more money than is sensible as pocket money.

I haven't got over the fact that it is seen as a virtue that you wouldn't get your frisbee out of bushes in case you got scratched-it seems very wet to me!

A wind up?
No one in their right mind would see it as a virtue I know schools are becoming increasingly health and safety conscious but they haven't yet taken in that far!

I never worked out whether the DCs thought someone else should go in and get scratched or whether someone else should just buy them another. My thought is-you got it in-you get it out (unless it is dangerous).

Be fair- she did say Frisbee Boy got on her nerves a bit.......

Reminds me of a friend of dd's who, ages about 8 was horrified when dd threw a snow ball at here "iIn my house,"she said "I throw snowballs at people, people don't throw snowballs at me"!