Page 23 | Blethering, havering and general Scotsnet style chit chat....

ElephantOfRisk · 2021-10-18T15:31:02+00:00

I'm in the car reading a few threads where folks are fed up with the misery and fighting so thought I'd start a new thread. Not for politics or covid or fighting , just general stuff 🙂 I've had a nice day, off work on hols so we took a wee drive down to Peebles and had lunch, bought a few pies from lovely butcher and now heading home.

dementedpixie · 28/10/2021 16:42

I did lose the bin war though so I've emptied the kitchen bins into the wheelie bins.

ssd · 28/10/2021 16:42

[quote Scottishskifun]@ssd well done on swimming! If you have a high protein snack within an hour of exercise (I used to have some chicken strips with some spice on) then it should curb hunger pangs[/quote]
Thats good to know. I did have a banana, but i had something for lunch when i got home and it was like opening the floogates. I find i can eat loads during the day but not so much at night. Maybe because i cook dinner and by the time its bought, prepped, cooked, dished up....i just want some toast...

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 28/10/2021 16:45

Why oh why does a rainy day make you want to curl up on the sofa, eat carbs and drink wine?

I've just finished work (WFH at the mo) and I can't be arsed doing anything I planned to do before tea. I'm in my fitness clothes and everything.

Is anyone very badly affected by the weather?

prettybird · 28/10/2021 17:01

I did the Shred and went for a run on Monday (just 3.13km). I meant to do the same yesterday, but only got round to doing the Shred (my excuse was that my dad was coming over for lunch and I didn't have time to do both, plus I had rugby training in the evening which got cancelled 'cos of the rain ). I was going to do them both today as well..... My excuse today was that it was too wet underfoot and someone was coming to service the central heating for the first time

We're going down to Newcastle tomorrow for a funeral - and have another one on Monday (for the guy that was in the Scottish news as having been killed in a hit and run allegedly by a 17 year old in the Cardonald Morrison's car park at 11.35 at night ) Ds is coming down from Aberdeen for that one as he used to coach with the guy. What a waste

Carpe diem.

ssd · 28/10/2021 18:25

How sad @prettybird. Makes you wonder what its all about, doesn't it

Haudyourwheesht · 28/10/2021 22:12

@prettybird

I did the Shred and went for a run on Monday (just 3.13km). I meant to do the same yesterday, but only got round to doing the Shred (my excuse was that my dad was coming over for lunch and I didn't have time to do both, plus I had rugby training in the evening which got cancelled 'cos of the rain ). I was going to do them both today as well.....

My excuse today was that it was too wet underfoot and someone was coming to service the central heating for the first time

We're going down to Newcastle tomorrow for a funeral - and have another one on Monday (for the guy that was in the Scottish news as having been killed in a hit and run allegedly by a 17 year old in the Cardonald Morrison's car park at 11.35 at night ) Ds is coming down from Aberdeen for that one as he used to coach with the guy. What a waste

Carpe diem.

That was an awful tragedy @prettybird. It's local to me and the guy seemed really well liked.

prettybird · 28/10/2021 22:42

He was an absolutely fabulous guy - a big man with a big heart. He loved his family and the rugby club (in that order ). Monday will be hard It'll be standing room only at the crematorium.

But it is a real reminder to carpe diem.

Funeral tomorrow is also a death that came out the blue as it was someone, a wee bit younger than me, who had a sudden brain haemorrhage, but somehow, although incredibly sad (she truly was our friend's "better half" ), that comes in the category of "one of those very sad things" rather than the utter pointlessness of a hit and run in the middle of the night

Sorry to bring the tone down

Seize the day

GrouchyKiwi · 28/10/2021 22:46

*prettybird]

ssd · 29/10/2021 09:08

@prettybird

ssd · 29/10/2021 09:17

Its hard sometimes though isnt it, to seize the day. Its something i think about a lot since mum and dad died, i know how precious life is. Ive got health anxiety because of it. But its hard some days to seize the day, however much I try. Just now I'm waiting on the train, its pouring and miserable. I'm going to a job i don't like and feel utterly wasted in. Im constantly worried about money, the kids futures, me and dh health. I know being here and having the luxury of worry is a privilege many dont have now. I also know of 2 funerals this week, both ordinary mums in their 40s and 50s who were loved and adored by their families. And i feel so guilty and angry at myself that i cant cheer up and buck up, as i know these women would have swapped places with me in a heartbeat. I dont know why i feel so down, if anyone could talk sense into me or even just give me a good kick up the bahookie it would be much appreciated.
@prettybird, i hope my post doesn't offend or upset you at all. I totally realise how lucky i am. Im just having trouble feeling it.

GrouchyKiwi · 29/10/2021 09:57

Be gentle with yourself ssd. It has been a difficult couple of years. Miserable weather makes everything that little bit more uncomfortable.

When things get like that for me I tend to cuddle my children more and make sure I watch them while they're sleeper (like a proper creeper).

Keep talking, if it helps.

sartorius · 29/10/2021 10:33

I always feel this time of year in Scotland feels like we've nothing to
look forward to.
Going into darker nights and crap weather (and it's particularly bad this week!)
Christmas still too far away to get excited.
I just knuckle down and get through November every year and then my mood turns a corner.
Mine loooove hallowe'en so that's what's getting me through this week.

Can you take up a wee project @ssd ? Start Christmas shopping/wrapping? Maybe rugby training with prettybird?
Just something to get you through the next few weeks

Original poster

ElephantOfRisk · 29/10/2021 10:35

My brother died when he was 42, not long after we lost my dad (67), my Brother in law (44) and Mother in law (70). Many more lost since that couple of years.

It's hard but I've accepted that there was nothing I could do and they are gone.

A short while after this my work engaged a program called "my best year yet" where basically you looked at a few things that you wanted to improve in your life and pared up with a colleague and came up with a list of goals to either achieve or improve the things you wanted to.

It sounds really cheesy, but it did make me take proper stock of things and I did improve my life. We actually ended up switching partners quick quickly when we realised that there were better matches. One of my things was that we were struggling to conceive and I was not great with Doctors etc. This made me actually go to the GP and get help. Other smaller things too. Other bloke wanted to improve his relationship with his daughter, another thing was wanting to learn to cook so lots of different things.

I guess what it did was make you focus on things that were important and also things that you are able to change.

So in your case @ssd, maybe listing a few of those things and steps you could take to change them would help you feel more positive?

I.e. you hate your job and feel undervalued - you could think about what transferrable skills you have and start applying for something else. One thing I learned was that women tend to only apply for jobs they are already qualified to do, whereas men will apply for jobs where they meet some of the criteria and this is generally a successful.
Or you are worried about your health and that of your family. You can't predict or protect from eeverything but you can take steps to keep yourself fit and have a decent diet. Money, maybe looking for jobs will help with this or you could think about other ways to earn.

I dunno, don't want to make it sound simple as it isn't and I know how it is to feel in a big hole. I guess what I am saying is that thinking about and doing very small achievable steps can make you feel better in themselves as you feel you are taking some level of charge over things that you can. It can make all the things that you have no control over recede a little. Write it down, tick it off. Always good to put down a couple of things you've already done as it's good to be able to put some ticks down straight away :o

OP posts:

ssd · 29/10/2021 10:56

Mine are too big to snuggle but i know what you mean

ssd · 29/10/2021 10:58

Thanks @ElephantOfRisk

titsintiers · 29/10/2021 11:10

I think it's important to acknowledge that life is shit and boring sometimes too. It's been a really long and difficult few years for all of us, especially key workers. None of us are in our prime mental health, but we will all be ok.

I hope you've got something nice to look forward to this weekend @ssd

Original poster

ElephantOfRisk · 29/10/2021 11:18

@titsintiers

I think it's important to acknowledge that life is shit and boring sometimes too. It's been a really long and difficult few years for all of us, especially key workers. None of us are in our prime mental health, but we will all be ok.

I hope you've got something nice to look forward to this weekend @ssd

That is a very good point.

OP posts:

BlameItOnTheBlackStar · 29/10/2021 11:55

What helps me sometimes is to try really hard to focus on my enjoyment of tiny things. Like, you know that moment when you wrap your hands around a cup of coffee and feel cosy. Or your child looks you right in the eyes and you laugh together at something really daft. Or you get your eyeliner right first time.

I hate the whole 'live as if this is your last day' because who the fuck does that? If that was the case my last day would be sitting in waiting for a delivery then going out in the peeing rain looking for pumpkins (and I hate Halloween with the fire of a thousand suns).

This is why I choose the tiny things to focus on

RaraRachael · 29/10/2021 12:02

I'm seizing the day and retiring in the summer. I'd intended working on for a few years but a friend died recently of a heart attack at 61 and I just thought, "Why work on any more than you need to?" I won't have so much money but I'll be free to do whatever I want.

BlameItOnTheBlackStar · 29/10/2021 12:37

That's brilliant! How exciting for you.

I have no intention of working until 65 but at the moment my pension pot does not agree...

Do you have any exciting plans?

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 29/10/2021 13:30

Sorry you're feeling down @ssd. Hope you find something to lift your mood.

Got letters today inviting us to go for flu jags plus CV booster, IF eligible and IF its 24 weeks since 2nd jag. Date is OK for DH, but I'll need to reschedule.

RaraRachael · 29/10/2021 18:38

BlameItOnTheBlackStar I've made a list of things I'd like to do. All my life I've been restricted by school holidays, so it will feel a bit weird to be able to what I want when I want.

GrouchyKiwi · 29/10/2021 20:10

Sounds brilliant, RaraRachel.

WouldBeGood · 29/10/2021 21:11

@ssd here’s something inspirational… nah, not really, it’s me! But have an awkward back pat 💐

dementedpixie · 29/10/2021 21:18

I did pump and attack today. I go for the social side as much as the exercise and have made friends through the classes. Its what helps keep me sane.

DS (15) has half days on a Friday now and decided he'd meet friends after school and wander about (in the pissing rain!) and get something to eat. He wore his shorts and a hoody as he's hardcore. Luckily the rain tailed off a bit while he was out.

Having some wine now