Guilt Free Railing 2

[WouldBeGood]

New thread, imaginatively titled.

And I'll give my standard issue anxiety advice just in case there is a person on mumsnet I've not blathered to about this - weighted blankets are worth a try (John Lewis do them and amazon amongst other places) and melatonin, which you can buy online if the GP won't prescribe is worth a try.

[quote kurtrussellsbeard]@Groovee I'm so jealous. That looks great.

Oh God I think I'm a resilience wanker 🙈 I've been trying to become more resilient. Genuinely 🤣 [/quote]
resilience wanker

I don't think that's the problem... If you recognise there are certain coping strategies you could practice that would be helpful to you, that is great! I could do with more of them myself (and fewer that involve gin). But it's the idea that "resilience" is a set thing that is inbuilt in us, and that children automatically have loads of so that they should be able to bounce back in no time from any setback without being negatively affected by it at all. Children should be taught the coping strategies too so they can find what works for them (expressing emotions, communicating, looking at positives or whatever). But it's not a "failure" on their part if they aren't as "resilient" as their friends, or they crumble easily regardless.

Thanks folks. In my head my options are: 1:fess up to someone next week and then stay at work and help to sort it. 2: Fess up and go off sick and spend the week trying to see GP to get signed off longer. Or 3: try to fix what I can next week, (I'm only working 4 days and then off on holiday for a week) and If I can progress something meaningful then just make another excuse why it's late and hopefully deliver something after I get back from holiday. Then take a view on whether I need to be off or not. If i can complete some of the work next week then the people I need to comment on things can maybe do that while i'm off and when i'm back i will be further ahead. The problem with option 3 as that is what I have been attempting to do for months.

But for tonight I just need to stop greetin' and maybe find something on Netflix to watch to distract for a while.

Thank you all for your kindness.

@NotAnActualSheep I don't even like batter!

@WaxOnFeckOff I really think you need to speak to a GP.

Dh isn't quite right. Really exhausted, feeling cold despite being warm. This was how he was prior to turning yellow. I'm trying hard not to stress.

I'm scared of testing come Monday and having to phone in with a positive result but also being back with under 5's. I'm so conflicted. I want to be back to normal.

@WaxOnFeckOff

I think more and more of us are really struggling and linking to apps and articles doesn't help as it's hard to engage with that when you are already feeling bad. My company does provide us with an anonymous support company and I'm thinking I need it but can't bring myself to do so.

So to everyone struggling. I know we all have our differences of views etc but we all just need a bit of connection and support sometimes.

Yes... All of this...

Hello all, been a slow day without mn to waste some time on.

Take the time off work @WaxOnFeckOff if you need it. You've not been in the office to bounce off colleagues for a long time, I bet you'd feel better if you were face to face with colleagues.

And for everyone else who's feeling it just now.

WaxOnFeckOff that is SO tough. I can't offer anything than encouragement to choose someone you trust to confide in and approach them. Chances are everyone will support you - it sounds like you have done your fair share of supporting along the way, now it's their turn. There almost nothing at work that can't be fixed.

A counsellor gave me a tip once which was when I become incredibly anxious about something, or finding it hard to make myself do a difficult thing, I should try to picture myself in a year's time. I picture that in a year it will only be a memory (ok maybe one to wince at) but the moment will have passed regardless. It helps me tackle things both big and small - walking into a bar by myself, appearing in a difficult case at work, having an awkward conversation with someone, being furious at DH/DC about something, having major surgery - I do find it helpful for all things!

Sorry if none of that's helpful. I just hate the thought of you being so miserable!

Thanks folks, it's now 50 weeks since I was last in the office. I had Covid (almost definitely but no test) the 2nd week of March and then never got back.

Well that's me just been told to calm down by Bluntness on a thread about Prince Philip so I think that's me heading for Netflix also!

Have a nice night ladies.

Mn has gone mental@kurtrussellsbeard.

Enjoy Netflix

Oh wax I'm so sorry to read of your work troubles . Others have provided really good advice, and you do seem to be working through the options yourself. I do totally understand about having a lot of self worth tied up in your job though. Only you know what is best, but I think at least part of your option 1 may be useful, as well as going to the GP. Just to talk it through with a line manager/ colleague, to work out what is the block, can bits of the work be delegated, how can it be broken down so you have something manageable to work on this week and so on. I know that is really difficult to do, but we're hardly in normal circumstances and they'd certainly rather be in a position to help you rather than knowing you were feeling like you are over it.

[quote Groovee]@NotAnActualSheep I don't even like batter!

@WaxOnFeckOff I really think you need to speak to a GP.

Dh isn't quite right. Really exhausted, feeling cold despite being warm. This was how he was prior to turning yellow. I'm trying hard not to stress.

I'm scared of testing come Monday and having to phone in with a positive result but also being back with under 5's. I'm so conflicted. I want to be back to normal.[/quote]
Heathen

And to you too. Sorry your DH is still ill... definitely worrying for you, alongside work stresses.

Weekends with stuff like that hanging over you are the worst...

@Groovee hope your husband is okay!

Thanks, I've recently got a new manager who i don't know very well and he's currently having a baby so could be off at any time. My old boss still is involved in client this work is for. he's very down to earth and gruff, but i think has a heart of gold underneath and we get on well. I'm thinking he is my man if i do fess up as he can help with the resolution. I really only work with one colleague who can help but like me, she is under a lot of pressure and also lost her dad in August, I cannot give her more pressure but she is the only person who could help with the issue (systems access etc). If I could get rid of this bit of work, I think I could cope with the rest.

Anyway I think Netfix calls - nite all

@WaxOnFeckOff

Thanks folks. In my head my options are: 1:fess up to someone next week and then stay at work and help to sort it. 2: Fess up and go off sick and spend the week trying to see GP to get signed off longer. Or 3: try to fix what I can next week, (I'm only working 4 days and then off on holiday for a week) and If I can progress something meaningful then just make another excuse why it's late and hopefully deliver something after I get back from holiday. Then take a view on whether I need to be off or not. If i can complete some of the work next week then the people I need to comment on things can maybe do that while i'm off and when i'm back i will be further ahead. The problem with option 3 as that is what I have been attempting to do for months.

But for tonight I just need to stop greetin' and maybe find something on Netflix to watch to distract for a while.

Thank you all for your kindness.

Hello! This sounds like some of the situations I have had at work (and I think maybe we work in similar fields?) Either way I agree with the advice here but I honestly reckon you need to bite the bullet and 'fess up. This will out me to anyone who knows me... I often talk about the "chest squeeze" when I'm under pressure at work where I feel as if a concrete block is on my chest. I find that talking through things, although the guilt over under performing is awful, will ease that awful pressure you are putting on yourself. I bet it's getting heavier every day / week. Try that and still have all your options in your pocket. You are due time off anyway? You may need more .... and that's ok. Whatever it takes to reset?

With a hug

I'm such a slow typist!! Missed about 15 posts while I wrote that

Yes wax. Speak to the man with heart of gold

My hugs to you lovely lady 💐

@WaxOnFeckOff I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. There's loads of people coping less and less at work at moment.
Rather than fess up I would say "confide" in someone at work who can help you. Please tell them you are not coping due to this bloody pandemic. Once they've helped you come up with and worked through a plan you will feel better about work.
And think about speaking to your GP.
You're only human, not superwoman
(Well maybe you are in real life!)

Wax Your former boss will know how good/reliable etc you are in normal times. Your reputation and your high standards will stand you in good stead. Asking for help shows you acknowledge that you need help = a strength. Take a deep breath on Monday morning and contact him. You know best how to approach him, but remember that everyone loves being asked for advice.

Groovee hope all is well with your DH.

Regardless wax I'd say you need to feel that you are over the inertia by the time you go on holiday otherwise it'll not benefit you. Talking to the gruff man early doors sounds good. grovee sorry to hear that your dh isn't so well.

I've learned a new term tonight.

Resilience wanker🤣

Off to find somewhere I can use it....

Thank you more folks. I'm not working Monday but obvs everyone else will be so if I decide to speak to someone, it means that I can do so while not "in work" which might be better.

Anyway, sharing it has made me feel a little less alone. Even DH doesn't know, all I've said to him is that I'm struggling and unhappy. He's said to take time off and he's happy not to retire yet if I want to just chuck my job and find something that would make me happier.

I'm going to try to put it out my mind for 24 hours and decide what to do on Monday.

@WaxOnFeckOff no advice but have 💐 and one of my awkward,distant back pat hugs

for you Wax. It is a difficult situation to be in. If you are at the point of wanting to give up your job how much worse can talking to your old boss be? No one can solve everything alone. Even if you're strong and reliable you have limits. Good luck for Monday!

Hope your DH is ok Grovee. And for everyone tonight who's finding life hard at the moment.