Guilt free railing

[WouldBeGood]

The place to vent, moan, rail, cheer: whatever you’re feeling about Covid, and the rules, and life and the universe.

I’ve started this as I’m feeling scared and fed up with increasing restrictions despite vaccines. I feel that what should be a more positive time is instead bringing more and more doom.

I want the simple pleasures of life back, as well as all the big stuff.

I'll add to the moan...a lot of hate coming up and I'm not sorry.

I hate that my baby's entire life has been spent in some form of lockdown.
I worry that I'll always regret that nobody else held him as a newborn - a scene on TV the other night with a new baby being passed to a friend made me cry...and I hate that when someone else did hold him, eventually, illicitly, at 3 months old, it felt like we were doing something wrong. I worry that he is quite hard work because I've been on edge for so much of his life, and that I've had to weather the extreme sleep deprivation and reflux without any family nearby who desperately wanted to help.

I get so frustrated that our older child has missed out on so much nursery and social interaction, and now cries/melts down at the drop of hat and gets jealous when I try to talk to other adults. I also hate hearing and seeing some of the tone and emotions the older one uses as he can only have picked them up from us/me (although I guess I could work on this 😏).

I came to resent being on mat leave...leave that I don't plan to have again and had been so looking forward to. And the guilt that comes with that resentment.

I'm now technically back at work and unable to do anything vaguely useful until nursery reopens because I have a 3 year old and 11 month old at my side, all day every day. Because even though we're both keyworkers, I'm at home so apparently able to carry out what is supposedly an essential service. This to me shows the fundamental lack of understanding of those making the decisions as to how someone is meant to work whilst looking after small children/homeschooling bigger ones. Luckily my boss has two small kids so she gets it.

I cannot stand the local covid police on social media, and what it's turned so many people into.

I hate the bloody park and all of its muddiness 😅.

But most of all, I hate the lack of hope on the horizon. We were promised we just had to hold tight until the vaccine. And now....what? Nothing else seems to matter. Or do they know something awful that they aren't even telling us? Because otherwise I truly don't get it.

Ah, that felt good! And I think I too will break out of the local authority once the snow has gone. I grew up near the sea and have been yearning for it...maybe a long drive is in order 😏

I've got weekly phone calls from a link worker at the drs and I think I'm getting talking therapy soon. But I've got an issue going on I haven't been able to speak to anyone about, not even Dh which feels terrible. But I cant talk about it till I know if its serious. And it's just running through my head all the time leaving me in dread, it's like a nightmare. I'm waiting on a hospital appointment. Anyways, I know my anxiety is making it worse. That and the news. Its bloody never ending.
I'll check the headspace app thanks.

Sorry to make it all about me

We managed to do quite a bit in December - lunch, coffee, trampoline park and a farm park. One minute we were looking forward to Christmas and then suddenly we're thrown back into lockdown and the schools can't reopen.

Also, it's not wfh, it's living at work. Which to be frank is absolutely shite.

Wfh must be bloody hard. I can hardly concentrate on a book just now never mind apply myself to work. And doing it with kids is impossible. My heart goes out to you

Just to make you laugh.... yesterday booked a voucher on Itison for an escape room.

So when Nicola gives us our freedom back, I've just paid good money to be locked up again.

Brilliant

What is an escape room?

@RaspberryCoulis

Just to make you laugh.... yesterday booked a voucher on Itison for an escape room.

So when Nicola gives us our freedom back, I've just paid good money to be locked up again.

😆😆😆😆

@ssd

What is an escape room?

Bit like the crystal maze. You get locked in a room with a challenge before you can exit.

Oh it's great fun SSD, they put you in the room and you have to solve the puzzles to get out. Various stories and scenarios - last one we did we were scientists trying to unlock the door and share their discovery with the world. The room is filled with all sorts of drawers or cupboards to unlock, to give you the next part of the solution, it;s a lot of fun.

(And you're never really locked in and are free to leave any time you want).

Just saw the photo about the wee walk cheering you up. Truly a familiar vision of
our very own Mordor!

Made me laugh out loud so thanks.

Sounds fun, I always thought it was a sort of laser quest

🤣 @RaspberryCoulis oh the irony if you end up having to cancel that because you can’t escape lockdown. (Obvs, hope not for you!)

@RaspberryCoulis 😂😂😂

Mind you, I’ve bought one for a night in Helensburgh 😂

@latortugafeliz oh I feel for you. Sometimes when I drive past a park I feel deep seated gratitude those days of freezing while dcs play are past for me - sorry to make it worse 😃

@ssd I was waiting for months and months for investigation of an issue, it did hang over me. Now got all clear and hopefully sorted. Hospital was fine.

@Groovee that kind of mix up really doesn’t help. Best wishes to Mr Groovee regardless of when he goes in

@RaspberryCoulis you just want to keep going in lockdown with an escape room 😂

@latortugafeliz the beach sounds lovely I’d love a sunny (doesn’t need to be warm) day by the sea. I’ve got a toddler and she’s the same. Terrified of anyone who isn’t a parent now. Feel the pain re trying to work from home as well. I wish they’d say what the goal actually is, it doesn’t seem to be a moving feat. Understand at the moment it’s to allow time for vaccinations and get the hospital situation under control but then what.

I was having a lovely time playing in the park in the snow - someone had made a snow boulder. I laid back on it and looked at the blue sky. Really lovely. Then, after I got up I saw there was a dog poo on the top of the boulder. Totally disgusted now.

So yeah, parks. So over it. I am really not looking forward to the rest of 2021 which like 2020 is going to involve mud, rain, mud, rain, sloshing around in streams and not much drinking wine in the sunshine.

That's good to hear @WouldBeGood

I did an escape room once, it was brilliant fun actually.

DH is going to finish work a bit earlier today so we can go sledging before dinner. The sun is out here at least so not quite like Mordor

Is it bad I keep thinking at least when baby ds is 6/7 months he can sit in a high chair and be entertained a bit easier etc? I'm wishing his babyhood away. I'm sure I enjoyed big ds a lot more at this age.

At the risk of ruining the vibe in here the snow in the sunshine looks spectacular.

However it's showing up the grime inside so there's always a cloud in my silver lining!

@LetItGoGo it's making my front wall look dirty too

Good things are welcome too 😃

More beautiful today with the ice crystals in the snow - tried to get the dc interested in the shimmering, glittering beauty and received a few grunts in reply.

It's nice seeing so many excited dogs playing in the snow too.