It's interesting to see that no one can possibly bear it might be simply be OP who isn't doing much, and still complaining. Despite the facts of 30 child free hours to herself every week.
This lack of accountability is really sad. It must be that she's got the most impossible child. Let's invent lengthy school runs and imaginary meetings just to try and fill the huge amount of time she has with no responsibility other than herself. Even if she spells out she does no more than 45mins of housekeeping, some clamour to literally invent things that mean she's obviously pushed to the limit.
It's beyond bizarre, and always seems to happen when SEN is mentioned. As if suddenly you can do no wrong. I have had this myself, and I find it really patronising. The sympathy head tilt and being treated like a hero just for getting out of bed whilst having a child with different needs. No thank you. Keep your othering.
There are good parents, there are bad parents. In all walks of life. You can be an outstanding SEN parent, but you can equally be a shite one. Good and bad parents aren't based on the child and shame on those who try and deflect, using SEN as a word they think people are too scared to challenge. Having a SEN child doesn't excuse you from everything, and it's quite awful that people try and create that narrative. A huge part of why there is so little inclusivity. Because some will always insist they can't be expected to get through the day because their child is ND. A harder day than most, sure. But rendering us incapable of any normal daily activity, 99% no. In the most extreme cases, yes, but that's categorically not what we are talking about in OPs circumstance.
Making SEN parents seem so abnormal that we shouldn't even be considered to achieve basic household tasks, whilst unemployed and with 30 child free hours a week, does a huge disservice to the very inclusivity we fight for.