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Would you work if you OH earned £60k?

193 replies

hihosilverlining87 · 25/07/2021 12:24

My OH earns £60k. Mortgage is around £570. I'm due a baby in October - would that be enough to live off? Would you give up work if your partner was on £60k or would you say it's not enough?

OP posts:
FizzyPink · 25/07/2021 12:27

It totally depends on your outgoings and the type of life you want to lead. DP and I both earn over £60k each and pay approx £1,000 in rent.
There’s no way either of us would consider not working as we like to be able to eat out whenever we fancy, go on lovely holidays and city breaks.

However, I’m sure to some people one salary of £60k would seem plenty for them to live on. You need to put together a full budget of all of your outgoings and then evaluate whether what you have left over once everything is accounted for is enough for you to be happy.

MotionActivatedDog · 25/07/2021 12:27

Does your partner get a say in whether they are solely responsible for earning the income for the whole family?

Wheretobuy · 25/07/2021 12:29

Are you married? Are you working in a profession where you can afford to take a few years off and still get back in? Did you discuss prior to having the baby that you may want to become a SAHP after the baby is here?

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 25/07/2021 12:30

It doesnt matter what anyone would do. No one knows anything about your financial situation. It's a decision only you and your partner can make.

Eleoura · 25/07/2021 12:30

When I earned that amount, we both worked still. Everyones circumstances are different though- where you live, outgoings, bills, etc etc. No one on here can advise on YOUR individual circumstance other than you and DH!

Bamski · 25/07/2021 12:32

After tax google tells me that’s £3620 take home per month.

How much are your other outgoings and what lifestyle do you want and how much would you be bringing in if you did work minus childcare?

I would always work in some way as I think women leave themselves in a vulnerable position without their own income and with huge gaps in their CV.

You might not want work post baby or you might enjoy the break of going to work- wait and see how how feel.

TheDamnFoolThatShotHim · 25/07/2021 12:32

The thing that jumps out is 'OH' rather than 'DH.' Are you married?

If you're not married, It really really wouldn't be advisable to give up your job, security, income and independence to become dependent on someone else.

I'd say the same if they earned £20k or £200k.

SunbathingDragon · 25/07/2021 12:33

Totally depends on outgoings and lifestyle. It’s not enough for us but it was for my parents back in the 80s.

Lockdownbear · 25/07/2021 12:33

Yes I'd work. Maybe not full-time but I think is better for you both to keep some level of independence within the relationship.

Also from a family point and job security being non-existent (redundancy, illness etc) I think its better not to have all eggs in one basket.

CrouchEndTiger12 · 25/07/2021 12:34

Depends where you live. That is nothing in London.

All you could borrow for a mortgage with £60k in London is £285k which won't buy a one bed flat.

You already have a Home though but would buying a larger home be a problem.

I keep working as never wanted to be sahm

Iwastheparanoidex · 25/07/2021 12:34

If you’re not married, I wouldn’t give up work.

Even if you are I wouldn’t. It can go to an arse in a fortnight and you’re fucked.

CrouchEndTiger12 · 25/07/2021 12:36


If you’re not married, I wouldn’t give up work.

Even if you are I wouldn’t. It can go to an arse in a fortnight and you’re fucked.

That too and my reasoning
Fluffycloudland77 · 25/07/2021 12:38

Yes I’d work because if they leave you’ve got a big gap on your cv.

Galwaygirl · 25/07/2021 12:39

DH earns enough for me not to have to work, I have gone back part time as I like to have some financial independence while meeting people in my working day, i am working in the medical profession and because of covid i feel I'm helping on the frontline

TedMullins · 25/07/2021 12:42


Depends where you live. That is nothing in London.

All you could borrow for a mortgage with £60k in London is £285k which won't buy a one bed flat.

You already have a Home though but would buying a larger home be a problem.

I keep working as never wanted to be sahm

Not the point but it will buy a one bed flat in London as I’ve just bought one for 200k on a 45k salary and there are lots more for sale nearby at a similar price.

But in answer to your question OP no I would never give up work even my partner was a billionaire because you don’t know what the future holds or when you might need everything work brings - independence, your own money, a pension, socialising, access to further training and progression etc.
Musication · 25/07/2021 12:44

I do! 60k doesn't cover our outgoings with much to spare tbh.

AustinPowerful · 25/07/2021 12:45

I do! I work part time.

Because I don't want to ever be totally financially reliant on DP eg if we split up. Also, would not feel fair for him to shoulder all the responsibilities for earning- he got made redundant a few years ago and my income plus his redundancy pay were enough to see us through. Plus I want my own pension and I've seen loads of women give up work and struggle to find a job 5-10 years later when the kids have grown because employers have candidates with more recently experience and skills.

If you're not married I think you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position giving up work tbh.

RyanAirVeteran · 25/07/2021 12:45

How long is a piece of string.

RavenclawsRoar · 25/07/2021 12:46

Yes because
1- I certainly wouldn't want to give up long term, and I think it would be hard getting back into it after 4 years (when dc starts school).
2- I would absolutely hate to be the one responsible for the majority of the housework. At the moment dh and I both work and split the housework, which I far prefer. If I was at home I'd have to shoulder most of it, and frankly cleaning, tidying, laundering and organising bores me to tears.
3- I enjoy the social side of work and thinking about different things.
4- I wouldn't want to place the financial responsibility fully on dh's shoulders. I wouldn't like it if he stopped work and I was fully responsible for the mortgage, bills etc. It's a lot of pressure with no breathing space if your job goes wrong or you get sick long-term or whatever.
5- Even if your partner's wage covers everything, I think extra for savings, nicer holidays, unexpected bills etc. always helps. Kids only get more expensive too, so it's good to put money away for them.

Weenurse · 25/07/2021 12:47

Yes, I would work

jerometheturnipking · 25/07/2021 12:49

My OH could earn a million pounds a week and I'd still work. Don't leave work to rely on a man you're not married to.

Even if you were married, it needs to be a joint decision that has been carefully considered looking at your expenditure and the type of lifestyle you wish to have as a family.

Kanaloa · 25/07/2021 12:50

Well I would say you’re in a better position to know how much you need to live off than random people on the internet who have no idea of your lifestyle and outgoings.

Sit down with your husband and look at how much you spend and whether or not you can live off the amount he earns.


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110APiccadilly · 25/07/2021 12:51

I would definitely give up work at that point if DH was happy. I don't think it's fair to make that sort of decision unilaterally. At the moment we're a single income household on less than that (it's my income, as it happens) and we're both happy with our lifestyle. But I can't tell you what you should do - our outgoings have been kept deliberately low ever since we married, primarily so that we're able to always have one of us at home (our ideal would be to both work part time), at least while DD (and any future DC) are young. So this is a joint decision based on what's important to both of us and we're both on board with it.

Smartiepants79 · 25/07/2021 12:52

My DH earns more than that and I still kept my job. I went part time as we both decided we wanted our kids to be at home for the majority of the week and not in childcare. We were very lucky that this was a financial option for us and I was happy to be at home.
Financially as a family we don’t need me to work but I wouldn’t give it up. It gives me my own money that I can spend as I wish without feeling I need to justify it (this is my issue, my DH never questions how I spend our money) and it gives me a safety net in case anything went wrong.
It also gives me a sense of purpose and is good for my sense of self.
I am well aware of how privileged I am to be able to choose but our lives would be very different (and very stressful) if I worked full time. This works for our family.

FlowerArranger · 25/07/2021 12:53

Every time a woman has a baby and goes on maternity leave her career prospects diminish and her pension will suffer. The only way to combat this is to go back to work sooner rather than later and insist that parental and domestic responsibilities are shared equally. Something to be discussed BEFORE considering children. Or ideally before choosing a potential father to one''s children.

SAHMS who are not married can be very vulnerable. Even if the non-husband is a good one, the power balance in the relationship changes, and if things go belly-up, the woman risks being left with nothing. Not saying this is inevitable, but it happens all too often.

I think too many women kind of slip into this situation. It's something that needs to be considered very carefully.

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