Would you work if you OH earned £60k?

[hihosilverlining87]

My OH earns £60k. Mortgage is around £570. I'm due a baby in October - would that be enough to live off? Would you give up work if your partner was on £60k or would you say it's not enough?

He does, and I do.

Probably not, for a few years, but only because I'm the one who works and DH is a SAHD and I'd like the chance for the rules to be reversed! 😆 I earn around £20k a year and we manage, so £60k seems like a dream!

Yes. I’m in my mid 40s, married to someone who earns about that much and I’ve always worked. Part time when Dd was small but full time now and earn over 40k myself now.

I’ve seen too many friends and ex colleagues shafted by stopping work when kids were young. Either the kids get older, secondary school age, and the mums are amazed to find they’re struggling to even get a retail job…after 10-15 years of not working they’re not an attractive applicant. They’re bored and fed up. Or, as has happened to a number of friends their oh/dh leaves and they have next no no income, living on benefits and limited maintenance and again are struggling to get a job and live hand to mouth while their ex moves on.

Yes, you could get by on that. BUT whether that’s right for you is another matter. There are many good reasons to maintain a career whilst you have young children. For me, personally, I really needed to have a couple of days out of the house being someone other than ‘mummy’. Not everyone feels like that, that’s just my own experience. From a financial perspective, again, it depends how you cut your cloth. My DH earns more than 60k, I work too and yet we’re still stuck for cash at the end of the month! We don’t live in the south-east either. We don’t take fancy holidays and we don’t have an expensive car. The cost of kids adds up!

And I completely agree with protecting yourself for the future.
If you’re not married you are very vulnerable as a SAHM

We earn just under that joined now and we have a lovely lifestyle but no kids… but we can afford to save, have holidays and eat/drink out when we want. We argent overly materialistic though. We are in the north west. I have friends with kids who manage on similar or less.

However it depends on the life style you have, do you have a career that you could pick up when ready. Be careful on having to rely on another person it works for some but not all

What do you earn?
Are you married?
Could you go part time (even very part time like 2 days a week) to keep your hand in for when your dc is school aged?
What sort of lifestyle do you want? (Its ok to say you want to be able to say yes to holidays and days out)
How secure is your DPs employment?
What is your pension plan?

@TheDamnFoolThatShotHim

The thing that jumps out is 'OH' rather than 'DH.' Are you married?

If you're not married, It really really wouldn't be advisable to give up your job, security, income and independence to become dependent on someone else.

I'd say the same if they earned £20k or £200k.

This x1000.

If you're married and want to be a SAHM then go for it if you can cover bills.

If you're not married DO NOT DO IT! You put yourself in too much of a vulnerable position and won't have access to savings/ pension/ ongoing support if you split.

I earn £60k and we struggle financially as mortgage is £1k and we have a lot of outgoings and whilst we have a good like we are not ridiculously extravagant. Dh is self employed so his salary varies month on month from £1-2k.

When I say we struggle I mean due to our outgoings and for example we are both overdrawn this month, but I absolutely appreciate a lot of our outgoings are optional and we could cut down should we want to.

No, because I would never want to give up my financial independence.

Yes - why wouldn’t you

We both earn more than that

One inconsistency of £60k wouldn’t pay our mortgage

I wouldn't give up work though would definitely consider part time.

When we had our children I contemplated being a SAHM but felt I still needed to be earning my own money.... just incase. I started working part time in the evening in hospitality and loved it. Meant we had no childcare costs as one of us was always home.

I see the girls at my work regularly having to take time off unpaid as little one is unwell or been sent home from nursery.

If you're not married, consider going part time as a compromise. It's your protection if something goes wrong. Unless you have a decent amount of your own savings (one years salary at least). I'm married and don't work (he earns more than 60k), before we were married I didn't work because we agreed I should have my own savings account as a 'get out fund'.

If this is your first child, you haven't been together long or your relationship is rocky, don't leave work.

@Lockdownbear

Yes I'd work. Maybe not full-time but I think is better for you both to keep some level of independence within the relationship.

Also from a family point and job security being non-existent (redundancy, illness etc) I think its better not to have all eggs in one basket.

This completely. Never give up your independence.

Yes, wouldn’t want to be financially dependent on a husband or compound the ‘motherhood penalty’ by doing things likely to damage my personal options to earn OK/good money.

Hell yeah because I'd want to be financially independent if we split and have the same pensions saved and all those things.

If you’re not married, anything other than full time work would be a huge risk for yourself and your DC.

Of course you should work. You need to take care of your pension. Plus it’s mentally stimulating.

My DH earns a bit more than that, I don't work but I am a carer for my middle child so recieve carers allowance. We also have 3 children, and any wage I earn in my career (given the hours and roles available to me) would remove carers allowance, and the hours I work would incur high afterschool childcare costs. So for us, with shared finances, it is financially more viable for me to stay at home.

I stayed at home until my eldest was 22 months, again due to financial reasons, and job availability in my area. At the time I took maternity leave with my eldest, I was working in a minimum wage role and had to get a train to a local city for that, so costs were again higher than my wage would have been.

My DH and I have always shared finances since we got married, which meant that we have always had equal access to all wages regardless of who brought it in. We also budget together for savings/ household expenses etc. If we didn't have this set up I wouldn't have stopped working at any point.

Bear in mind that with your partner earning 60k, you won't recieve child benefit, unless your partner puts 10k into their workplace pension scheme.

He does (more or less) and I do, but part time. 60k is clearly enough to live on tho and whole families live on half that much. I would be bored though if I didn't work at all.

@SunbathingDragon

Totally depends on outgoings and lifestyle. It’s not enough for us but it was for my parents back in the 80s.

This place is like a parallel universe at times

I earn well over that and I would expect my partner to carry on working. I wouldn't get married to avoid the financial risk to her unilaterally deciding she want to.

What your oh isn't rely the main issue.

Are you married?

If not, is the mortgage in both names?

Is your OH happy for you to be a sahp?

Have you thought long term about your own financial independence and earning potential? Like seriously, and understand the possible impact on you. Especially if not married.

Do you want to stay at home? Is part time time option? Would OH like to take part of the maternity period off?

It depends what your plans are (and if you’re married).

I gave up work when DH was earning half that. I had a few years off with dc, then retrained and now work full time. I never intended to be a long term SAHM.

It has worked out well for me, but it is a risky strategy. Also I have lost out on pension building years but I will be paying extra in to try to mitigate that.

I earn that and would be annoyed if DH felt he could give up work on that basis.