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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you date a guy who has been divorced twice before age 40?

144 replies

Cocolas · 12/08/2023 14:46

That’s quite a lot of marriages to get through before middle age? Or am I being judgemental?

OP posts:
Blanca87 · 12/08/2023 14:48

Survived or divorced?

CharlotteStreetW1 · 12/08/2023 14:49

Is it Henry VIII?

ToBeOrNotToBee · 12/08/2023 14:50

CharlotteStreetW1 · 12/08/2023 14:49

Is it Henry VIII?

😂😂😂

Changingplace · 12/08/2023 14:51

Divorced or has been made a widower twice?

LimeCheesecake · 12/08/2023 14:53

If he’s been widowed twice, if both previous wives had died in mysterious circumstances or from unusual accidents, I’d say my inner Miss Marple would strongly advise friend-zoning him.

gaggiagirl · 12/08/2023 14:53

His previous wives died? Nah I would sack him off, he sounds a bit murdery to me.

Didsomeonesaydogs · 12/08/2023 14:54

Is his name Ross Geller?

My mother was divorced twice before 40, she married for the third time at age 38 to an abusive bully. She moved us in with him having known him for just 2 months and married him a year later. She’s still married to him 35 years later but none of us see her anymore.

In her case, she couldn’t be alone and jumped from one disastrous relationship to the next, often putting us kids in dangerous situations in the process.

Being divorced twice by age 40 is not the sign of someone who is emotionally healthy so tread carefully and proceed with caution.

JoyDivisionOvenGlovesx · 12/08/2023 14:59

CharlotteStreetW1 · 12/08/2023 14:49

Is it Henry VIII?

Bon Appetit Gourmet GIF by Studios 2016

This.

Pinkbonbon · 12/08/2023 15:06

At 40!? Oh fuckity no. I don't want to be food for the roses in his back garden, thanks.

Bananalanacake · 12/08/2023 15:10

Date yes, move in with no.

LakeTiticaca · 12/08/2023 15:13

I would decline a walk along a cliff path with him if I were you 😉

Cowlover89 · 12/08/2023 15:18

Nope

zoomingale · 12/08/2023 15:19

I don't see what the problem would be unless you think he murdered them. In which case obviously don't go out with him.

TheAverageJoanne · 12/08/2023 15:22

If he's not got a patio you might be ok.

Cocolas · 12/08/2023 15:22

Omg I meant divorced not survived* 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
jays · 12/08/2023 15:25

Honestly no. I think it would just make me feel on edge. All of the time!

Oatycookies · 12/08/2023 15:25

Didsomeonesaydogs · 12/08/2023 14:54

Is his name Ross Geller?

My mother was divorced twice before 40, she married for the third time at age 38 to an abusive bully. She moved us in with him having known him for just 2 months and married him a year later. She’s still married to him 35 years later but none of us see her anymore.

In her case, she couldn’t be alone and jumped from one disastrous relationship to the next, often putting us kids in dangerous situations in the process.

Being divorced twice by age 40 is not the sign of someone who is emotionally healthy so tread carefully and proceed with caution.

I agree with this last paragraph.

Statistics show that the rate of divorce actually increase for each marriage - eg there’s a higher rate of divorce for 3rd marriages than 2nd and so on. I had a friend whose mum was married 3 times all ended in divorce, she’s a lovely woman but I think her picker was off.

Often people do not learn their lesson.

jays · 12/08/2023 15:26

jays · 12/08/2023 15:25

Honestly no. I think it would just make me feel on edge. All of the time!

ah divorced, well that’s different! Depends on the reasons.

SamW98 · 12/08/2023 15:26

I have a male friend who was divorced 3 times by the time he was 43.
However he’s now been with wife 4 for 12 years and so although it could be a red flag, sometimes it can work out.

CringeLicious · 12/08/2023 15:30

SamW98 · 12/08/2023 15:26

I have a male friend who was divorced 3 times by the time he was 43.
However he’s now been with wife 4 for 12 years and so although it could be a red flag, sometimes it can work out.

12 whole years? Wow! Amazing!

Theroom · 12/08/2023 15:37

It would depend on the reasons. I would try to be open minded.

Coffeetree · 12/08/2023 15:39

CringeLicious · 12/08/2023 15:30

12 whole years? Wow! Amazing!

Meow!!!

I'd take it slow OP. Hopefully he's got some introspection about things.

If he has kids I'd run a mile. They've been through enough and he needs to be focusng on them, not on the prowl for a new step-mum for them.

Lookingatthesunset · 12/08/2023 15:39

Why did both marriages break down?

Blossomtoes · 12/08/2023 15:40

I was divorced twice before I was 35. The second one buggered off with someone else after six months. I’ve been in my third marriage for 23 years so I’m delighted my bloke wasn’t put off by it!

Maireas · 12/08/2023 15:41

CharlotteStreetW1 · 12/08/2023 14:49

Is it Henry VIII?

😂