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Original poster

Would you date a guy who has been divorced twice before age 40?

144 replies

Cocolas · 12/08/2023 14:46

That’s quite a lot of marriages to get through before middle age? Or am I being judgemental?

OP posts:
Coffeetree · 12/08/2023 15:42

I've got a divorce under my belt at 52 and I am so worried about having a broken picker. But then it's also possible for someone to have bad luck, or be deceived.

Maireas · 12/08/2023 15:43

You never know, you could be the Catherine Parr in this scenario.

Dacadactyl · 12/08/2023 15:44

Only read the original post, but no I wouldn't.

I would even think twice before dating someone once divorced before 40 and probably wouldn't.

Dontcallmescarface · 12/08/2023 15:44

I was divorced twice by the age of 33 so yes I would.

Chowtime · 12/08/2023 15:44

Date? Yeah sure, if he was nice company and had money, why not?

Not sure why it's a problem being married twice before. How many people and had numerous live-in partners? No-one ever thinks about that.

Dacadactyl · 12/08/2023 15:47

@Chowtime that'd put me off too

Pressthespacebar · 12/08/2023 15:48

I’m divorced twice by 37 but I don’t want to get married again so it wouldn’t bother me if it put someone off.

Funnily enough I did so well out the first two marriages I’ve got too much to lose if I got married and divorced again 😂

Fundays12 · 12/08/2023 15:58

I don't know but I wouldn't totally rule it out on that basus alone. My best friend was married and divorced by 30 twice. She picked the wrong men both times but learned and grew from these experiences. She remarried in her early 30s and he is the love of her life and a lovely guy who adores her. They are still together very happily years later.

Toomanysquishmallows · 12/08/2023 15:59

I wasn’t divorced, but I had split from my partner of six years at 25 , because he left me for someone else .

surreygirl1987 · 12/08/2023 16:08

Omg I meant divorced not survived 🤦‍♀️*

Haha I laughed at this.
I would be wary of two divorces but better than suspiciously dead wives!

Maireas · 12/08/2023 16:08

I think some people just like getting married. They want the event and the big day, they don't always think in the long term. So it's not necessarily that they can't manage relationships.

ShinyYellowTeapot · 12/08/2023 16:10

Of you're Gail Platt, then absolutely not, no.

Ilovelurchers · 12/08/2023 16:11

I'd been divorced twice by the time I was 40, and actually had had 3 failed LTRs (I am defining this as together two years or more and living together).

At this point I actually prefer to meet a partner who has also had a number of LTRs previously. It's just more comfortable for me - that shared experience.

So I would say it's horses for courses really. There is no right answer here. But you are perhaps likely to get on better with somebody who has had a similar experience to your own?

Nn9011 · 12/08/2023 16:11

Only if he understood why he was previously unsuccessful in his marriages and could show he has made active steps to heal himself or stop himself repeating the same patterns

Rathouse · 12/08/2023 16:12

Lookingatthesunset · 12/08/2023 15:39

Why did both marriages break down?

Exactly what actually happened

Rathouse · 12/08/2023 16:14

Chowtime · 12/08/2023 15:44

Date? Yeah sure, if he was nice company and had money, why not?

Not sure why it's a problem being married twice before. How many people and had numerous live-in partners? No-one ever thinks about that.

It's not the same. Marriage is a serious commitment or it should be.

LavenderfortheBees · 12/08/2023 16:14

No this isn't reassuring as it gives him a nice spot to put you before installing one!

willWillSmithsmith · 12/08/2023 16:17

I’d be very wary of this. My ex bf was divorced twice and having lived with him I can totally understand why.

Rosscameasdoody · 12/08/2023 16:17

CharlotteStreetW1 · 12/08/2023 14:49

Is it Henry VIII?

Wow, coffee snorted down my nose !! 🤣🤣🤣

PermanentTemporary · 12/08/2023 16:18

Maybe - I've been divorced and widowed myself so can also riffle through my old marriage licences like a deck of cards* and am not bothered by baggage in itself, provided it's neatly stacked and not sitting out in the hallway as it were. I'd never put all my financial eggs in his basket though, I'd want to keep fairly independent.

I tell you though, if a man starts even one sentence with 'my ex is crazy....' I am outta there.

  • brilliant joke from an old book I like
ElizaMulvil · 12/08/2023 16:19

Maireas · 12/08/2023 15:43

You never know, you could be the Catherine Parr in this scenario.

Hope not. Didn't she die in childbirth soon after marrying again/

Rosscameasdoody · 12/08/2023 16:20

Cocolas · 12/08/2023 14:46

That’s quite a lot of marriages to get through before middle age? Or am I being judgemental?

No. The common denominator in both marriages is him. I’d find it what actually happened to end the marriages but if the reasons are similar in both cases I’d be wary.

Blossomtoes · 12/08/2023 16:23

Rosscameasdoody · 12/08/2023 16:20

No. The common denominator in both marriages is him. I’d find it what actually happened to end the marriages but if the reasons are similar in both cases I’d be wary.

Show quote history

The common denominator in mine was me. I married the first far too young (18) and the second fucked off and left me for someone else after six months. How would you judge me?

NoraBattysCurlers · 12/08/2023 16:24

CharlotteStreetW1 · 12/08/2023 14:49

Is it Henry VIII?

Especially, if he liked to cook Beef Wellington.

queenrollo · 12/08/2023 16:25

I did and now we've been happily married 12 years. I think it depends on why the marriages broke down. In my DH case there were sensible reasons for both marriages to end. If there had been red flags or 'crazy ex' bullshit I would have run a mile. He's still good friends with the 1st ex, and no contact at all with the 2nd.