Would you date a guy who has been divorced twice before age 40?

I think OP is focusing on the wrong thing though. It's not the divorces that are a red flag - the great big red flag is the reasons for the marriages ending, which would be the reason to run for the hills!

I think it depends why?

Say for example someone marries their childhood sweetheart at 17 and divorced at 25 because they grew apart (one wanted a career, one wanted a family etc...). Then at say 32 he marries again after 5 years with new partner and then divorce just a few years later because SHE was having an affair etc... then I think its fair enough no huge red flags for me just 2 legit reasons for long term relationships to fail that aren't inherently his fault.

If he has 2 bitter divorces after a short time and kids involved and lots of fighting and baggage and responsibilities etc... I would be more weary.

Surely you should have lead with that.

This man abandoned 1 wife and child (unless you a drip feeding something big) then cheated on the second... both seem entirely his fault.

If you want to end up a single mother to a guy dicking down his secretary while you recover from birth etc... then go ahead.

I have two friends who are both divorced twice and in middle 40's by the time all went through

Sometimes can't help it

Any children with the two ex's so will be contact ?

Ah yes kids and Cheated

Well people do chest sadly - did he learn from it

Friends dh didn't sadly -cheated on first wife. And on second. Hence why she divorced him

The reasons for the marriages ending would be a huge a red flag. I would never become involved in someone who cheated on their spouse.

If I'd be more aware of my husband's history of cheating in relationships and what that indicates, I would have been far more cautious. It took him 14 years but he cheated on me when the going got tough. I could have saved myself a lot of trauma had I been more discerning.

I wouldn't, no.

I'd also be put off by a man who had DC with more than 1 woman.

I wouldn't, no. I'd also be put off by a man who had DC with more than 1 woman

This is the case for me too. Both hard no's here.

Me too. I really don’t understand why they seem to feel the need to produce children just because they’re married. It’s very odd.

I mightbdaye him for some short term fun but not if I had ambitions to marry.

Having kids when you're married is odd?

I didn’t say that, did I? Try reading it again.

Not for me thanks. I wouldn't go for a bloke with kids anyway but regardless, no. It's 2 occasions of him leaving and one of him cheating. Doesn't fill me with hope that he's a good candidate for a relationship. Maybe there was more to no1 and leaving was the right answer, but it doesn't look great in a relatively short space of time that he's tried again and fucked it up.

If you've known him a while then there are worse things I suppose (for instance if he had managed to squeeze in a couple of beheadings too) but the whole picture isn't great.

What does he say his reflections are on all of this and what would he do differently?

I'd been divorced twice by the time I was 40. First because of DV, 2nd he cheated.

Married for the 3rd time at 41 and am still married to him 22 years later.

Effectively you did. You see no correlation between marrying someone and having kids with them. You think it's "odd" that someone might see children as a natural next step after marriage.

There's also the implication that you know people's reasons for having kids, which is much odder than married people having kids.

I didn’t. But just to spell it out beyond ambiguity. I don’t understand why some men with multiple marriages insist that every one of them should produce more children.

I’m assuming @Blossomtoes meant it’s weird people who feel they need to have a child in every marriage. Eg. A woman or man who has married 3 times and has at least one child within each marriage.

I do agree that’s a complete mess and I would steer clear of anyone like this, same goes for someone who felt they should have a child with every long term (unmarried) partner .

I remember as a kid watching a talk show on tv a woman with who had married nine times but only had a kid with the first guy and I have to say it was good she was responsible in at least one sense if not the other lol

Thanks @Oatycookies, it’s reassuring that comprehension skills still exist.

I was divorced twice by the age of 40...judge away 🤷‍♀️

Husband number 1: I was 19 when we met, and 22 when we married in 1985 - he had an affair when I was pregnant with our 2nd child in 1990. I found out when she (the Other Woman) sent me a letter!

Husband number 2: I stayed single/on my own, after that until I was 32, when I met someone I thought was the love of my life! We married 3 years later (I was 35) and within 12 months he started to show his 'true colours'...by the time he'd really 'come out' I ended up in hospital with a fractured cheekbone, two broken ribs and a very nasty concussion - I was 38 so we'd been together 6 years (married only 3 😢). I was a broken shell of my former self. So, yeah...judge away...but once more I got divorced!

There were no 'strings of boyfriends' for me during those years between 19 and 40...just two men, who I married. Two relationships in 21 years. Context is everything before you 'start judging' people OP!!