In shock, just another one

[fairygodmotherto3]

I've changed my name for this, please don't shout troll at me, I feel too stunned about this myself. Someone dropped a letter through the door at lunchtime, no idea who, from my dh. Says he's not coming home, he's leaving me because I'VE been having an affair! It said he'd suspected for a while but couldn't take any more. I haven't, no secret meetings, no even mildly interesting texts, no idea when I'd have time to anyway. Tried phoning him, no answer and daren't phone his work, I don't know what to do. I thought we were ok, probably not the perfect marriage but ticking along alright. Got to pick up dd's soon, what do I tell them? Feel so sick and dizzy.

Yup, my fg is staying and I feel like facing as few people as possible right now but may take you up on that one day. You may have to open your open bottle though, the newly appointed fg is reading over my shoulder and deciding she should wrestle the laptop away before I'm chatting at 2am. Much as the support is helping I should probably take the hint.

Trust me FG, as someone with an exh and a dd who he hardly ever sees, you're getting the best deal, if hes shagging someone else that wil last about 2 minutes, you get to take care of the dds (and all the wonderful things that entails - the morning snuggles in bed, the hugs, the laughing, the playing together, the baking cakes etc) for the rest of your life.

for DeFluffy but also to cheer the godmother of fairies up

FG sleep well if you can, and finish the wine xx

Thanks loopy and defluffy, not sure if I'm laughing or crying, call it both but thank you anyway. May reserve the right to play evening games when I'm not being glared at with concern.

Thats the cutest ever. xx

well you did say to send you a cat!

DeFluffs is lovely, I'm affraid!

Fairy keep posting.

Let it all out here.

Remember that last night you went to bed happily married to the father of your two beautiful girls.

To all intents and purposes, you have just lost that normality from your life.

Everything that you feel is your normal for a while now.

Grief is the biggest player in this.

Don't be surprised at just how much you swing between emotions.

And, have enough wine to sleep. You need to sleep.

Ask your friend to stay if she can and make sure bacon butties are on the breakfast menu!

Give your friend your mobile please. Just for tonight.

FG, I've got nothing of any usefulness to add, but I would like to asy that I am really pleased that you have such a good friend.

God you're good Mouseface! I need one of you sitting in the corner of my living room to keep me sane! Do they do a portable version?

Loopy - Ive already got 4 of the buggers

I agree with everything Mouse says, she is wise. Like the 3 Wisemen but only 1 of her and without the winkle

say obv.

FG hope you're OK, like everyone else says, try and sleep. Will pop back in tomorrow morning and see how you are.

Ax

Fg I'm in chelt if you need anything. Glad you've got such a good friend there with you. You don't deserve this. Let your friend sort the practical stuff for you you need to just need to let her ok. Big hugs

Loopy - as one so small, I can easily fit onto your pocket!

DeFluffs - how do you know I don't have a winkle? I have the balls!!!!

Doh! 'into'!!!!

FG Hope your ok! Your poor dds too, My dd1 & ds are those ages and I can't imagine telling them their dad had left them, because he has left them as well as you

Another vote for OW, when I first started reading thread I thought maybe the OW had written the letter to force him into leaving

OR
Is it possible that the friend who delivered the letter is single and having a wail of a time at the minute with none of the family ties & worries, and your dh has a bit of the grass is greener syndrome?

Just asking as I know of someone who walked out on his family because he was fed up working and paying bills, and not being able to get out with his mates very often, sad but true

Sleep as well as you can, FGM. So and on your behalf. How drearily predictable to blame you. How completely unoriginal and stupid, and how arrogant and heartless to tell you to move on, and inform you when you can talk about things.

PLEASE drain your joint bank account asap. And stop the joint credit cards.

So glad you have a good friend there looking after you and that your PILs know.

xxx

FG - be prepared that you might not sleep at all tonight. I kept going on adrenaline for 36 hours nonstop, incuding packing ALL his stuff at 3am. Eventually, I just collapsed on the sofa the next evening while the dcs danced to Michael Jackson full blast. I was oblivious. Just let your body go with what it does, don't fight it. I didn't feel hunger until day 5 either and I'm still not sleeping beyond 4am.

Oh, and I'm in Birmingham (South). Thinking of you.

just read this whole thread and am and so on yours and your dd's behalf fg - what a callous thing to do, I wish I had some words of wisdom for you but I think you have already had lots of great advice from the ladies on this thread.

BTW I am in the midlands too and would be willing to help you or meet up with you if you wanted to.

i hope you manage to get some sleep tonight, it sounds like you have a fab friend there.

FG, just to say thinking of you. You have dome amazingly today. Your H shattered your world in the most heartless, callous way. You have been so strong and have survived this first day! You will survive tomorrow too. And the day after that.

It will be very interesting to see what unfolds. I would bet a lot of money on it being anything other than him believing you're having an affair.

So pleased you have a good friend with you. I have a suspicion you will be back on later. Those long early morning hours are the hardest

fairy

Your absence tells me that you have listened to your friend and closed the laptop.

Your friend is very wise and you should lean on her as much as you will both allow.

Tonight will hard. Awfully hard, as wil the morning when you would all normally have a routine to follow.

Be kind to yourself but use the business hours wisely to get the mundane tasks done -

Solicitor/Bank account(s)/CAB/Mortgage company/All joint financial connections etc

And please call your parents to let them know that you are as okay as you can be, they will want to hear your voice.

Take the girls to school or don't, one day won't hurt but will give you time to plan.

And if you feel able, let the school know. Just in case they are 'off' during lessons due to what has happened.

The school can, when you are ready, also offer practical advice as to anything you are entitled to - free school meals etc.

That will come in time but good to let the school know the basics for now.

Keep posting.

xx

Sorry for the terrible spelling and absent words. Been a long day.

Sorry to read all this. Just one small point regarding telling the school - also say that only you will be collecting your DDs unless you tell them otherwise.

Mouse, I was just thinking you should start a consultancy/advisory practice, specialising in helping people in this sort of shitty situation. You give such fantastic advice but not only that, you do it so clearly too.

FG, forgot to say I am not a million miles from the Midlands.