Firstly, sorry if I X post or repeat any brilliant advice already given.
fairy
In no particular order and sorry this is so long........
What time is/are H and PIL arriving tomorrow?
Okay. What follows are hopefully some pointers on how to handle things tomorrow and maybe some things to consider. I hope it helps.
Take it slowly. Don't try to deal with too much in one day.
Hear him out. Make sure he tells you as much as he will tomorrow but don't push him. You have time for all of this to unravel.
Do not over dress or put more make-up on than you would normally wear on a Saturday. It's pointless. He won't appreciate it. Dress as you would normally.
The same goes for the house, same as always on a Saturday.
Try to get an early start on not sleeping tonight!! Go and lie down once the girls are in bed and you feel ready. Maybe read?
Not a romantic novel!
Eat before anyone arrives tomorrow, especially H. You need your blood sugar to be as stable as possible.
Go with the flow in terms of how you address things.
Listen - pause - react. Take your time as much as possible when talking to him.
Be calm. As much as you want to scream and shout, try not to. Keep your dignity.
Cool, calm and collected. If he comments on you being cool, ask him what he expected.
If he's brave or stupid enough to answer, says screaming banshi, yelling, upset etc, tell him you have given him enough of your emotional energy over the years and now it's time to stop.
Don't be Billy Big Balls. Just be firm and level.
Everyone will tell you not to cry. I'm sorry to say that you might. It's not a bad thing. You are not in control of that I'm affraid.
You are still in shock and need answers. So many answers.
You still love him. You may not like him very much but you can't turn your feelings off. It would be so much easier if you could.
Don't beg. Please. It will get you nowhere. Even if he said that he'd come back to you, this would live in your lives for a very long time and would always be raised in future arguments.
He left you. His justification was a smoke screen for what he has done/wants to do.
Imagine the worst case senario and times it by 1000, if not more. That way, you might just be a tiny bit more prepared for anything you haven't yet imagined.
Take you time. Don't let him leave until you have had a chance to say your peace in a calm and meassured manor.
If, once he's gone and you do think of other things, write them down for when you next see/speak to him.
Ask him to be civil to you infront of the girls. He has no reason not to be and of course you must extend the same curtesy back.
Don't bad mouth him to his parents. They will take his side ultimately, even thought they might sympathise with you.
Make notes as others have said in terms of what he wants/suggests BUT DO NOT AGREE TO ANYTHING TOMMORROW.
Tell him you need time to consider everything and will speak to him as soon as you have.
YOU ARE IN CONTROL NOW.
If you cry, you cry.
Be brave. Imagine we are all there, stood with you, helping you to do this.
Put your girls and yourself first.
It will be extrremely hard but it will be over before you know it and on Sunday, yo uwil have your parents there to support you and the girls.
I wouldn't tell the girls anything tomorrow. Not until you have both agreed on how to move forward.
And yes, tell them together. At the house. In the daytime.
But not tomrrow. Tomorrow is for you. And yo need to be clear in your mind so that you can help the girls to cope with this too.
I hope you get some rest. I wish I could be ther with you tonight.
You will be ok. Not anytime soon but before you know it.
I promise xx