My wife says it's too little, too late

[benthebuilder]

Would have put this on Dadsnet, but it seems a bit quiet and I urgently need advice.
Basically, my wife has told me that my attempts to become more understanding regarding her needs and feelings is too little too late.
Dinn't realise how serious problem was until I read a letter of hers from solicitor regarding divorce.
Have attempted to talk with her about this, but she says it's far too late to show concern now, about 3 years too late actually.
I don't want a divorce, but she seems to have come to the end of the line with me and refuses to talk about it, saying I have left it too late.
What do I do now?
Also. I think things have come to a head over past few days and she is removing herself emotionally from our family.

My view is that it's just too late.

Have you asked her if it's too late? Does she seem to want to continue the reltionship?

funnys...I have detailed my problem with a bloke posting on MN for support/peeps to give him sympathy/insert whatever the feck he thinks he's gonna possibly get out of it, whose wife is also a member

she may have posted their problems on here

he admits he saw her contribution on here

he opens her mail

you don't see a problem here ???

Look I'm getting a bit confused here. Is it always so 'frantic'?

no my wife is not who you think , she is actually in the bath at the moment.

Does the name Twattish ring a bell then?

oh FFS AF not WR or AR or anyone else for that matter.

Do you know what, I don't really give a shit about whether Ben can or should save his marriage. Just sorry to see a man who obv wants to talk being given such short shrift.

No ShinyAndNew is not his DW I know that because Twattish is currently storming around the house effing and blinding about fly spray or some such and we only one PC and I am on it atm.

Otherwise I would be suspicious myself . 'Cept I'd die before I left my children in his custody. He can't even care adequately for the dog, never mind the children.

ShineyAndNew - I hope that you give Ben another chance

where the fuck is dittany when you need her....

Funnys- can you not see why it's inappropriate? Really?

WTF TDiddy!?

who says ben is shiny's H ???

I am not stalking my wife, I she comes on here, but I don't know what her chatname is.
Why is my being a man such an issue?

TDiddy has gone all Inspector Clueso on us.

portia...is it me ? really ??

No, don't answer that

Haha. I'm not his wife. Honest. Twattish and I aren't even married. I started calling him DH when I joined MN before I understood all the acronyms and it's a habit that just stuck.

The reason I contributed to this thread is because I knew some of you might think it was me, but I didn't dare say this is not Twattish, btw, in case I sounded crazy and you didn't have a clue what I was talking about

Ben threads do tend to move fast. Plus yours keeps getting in 'most active' which will bring people in. Ignore the silliness and others arguing with each other and concentrate on the advice given. I and others on here have criticised your 'I'm only a bloke, I don't understand women' line for being entitled bullshit - it doesn't take any amazing insights to understand that you should treat your partner as an equal, with respect and consideration whatever gender they, or you, are - and it's not a female trait to resent being stuck indoors while your partner goes out on the town and comes home expecting to be domestically and sexually serviced.

You have acted selfishly for years - you are excusing it because you are a man - you have failed to listen to your wife and are blaming it on not understanding women. You need to shape up on the male entitlement shit and realise your wife deserves more than you have been giving her. Whether you are capable of changing and whether she will give you another chance remain to be seen - my advice is try to persuade her you are genuine about changing - and be genuine.

Ben, coming on to a site which you know your wife uses to ask for advice looks manipulative. I appreciate that you may not mean for it to come across that way, but it does. How do you think your wife will react if she does come across this thread? Do you think it'll help your cause? Because I'm guessing it won't. If she wants to leave, you can't do anything to stop her. It does sound as though she has made her feelings clear.

I said shiny

I can see why it's inappropriate, but I'd say that since he's been brave / stupid enough to confess to opening her post and knowing she posts on here, it's not too much of a leap to say he's genuine.

OK, yes I can see that in certain circs it may be inappropriate. Perhaps I am not as automatically suspicious as others about men. Ah well, you live and learn...........

Was just surprised at the venom the thread instantly attracted

a genuine what Ju ?

that would be my question

chilling, tbh

It's the internet. Doesn't have to be RL. Simulation could be useful. Pardon me for confusing Shiney with Shiny.